- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I am going to preface this whole post by saying this is just my opinion and the reason I am posting it is to hopefully empower a few brides who just feel overwhelmed by it all. Feel free to disagree with whatever I say, but I am not really looking to debate anyone on this, after 9 months of wedding planning and 9 more to go, I’ve just had enough. 🙂
I want to know when as a society we all became so snobbish about weddings? When did the “plus one” rule get instated, when did it become a rule that if there is time between the ceremony and reception is is considered rude not to have a cocktail hour? When did people start throwing fits and starting family fights when they’re not allowed to bring their kids? When did people start turning their noses up at food selections?
Here’s the deal (again, in my OWN opinion): You’re paying for it, you get to decide. No one is forcing anyone to come to the wedding. You can’t afford 35 extra plates of dinner to include kids? Don’t invite kids. You don’t like having kids running around, breaking things, don’t invite kids.
You don’t know your second cousin’s third boyfriend this month? Don’t include a plus one. Your aunt has been single since the 70’s but she wants to bring a friend to your wedding, tough it out Aunt Betty – you’re not paying for it all. Don’t like? Don’t come.
Food not up to your tastes? There is a McDonald’s down the street, knock yourself out. I for one am not one to complain about free food or free drinks.
Your co-worker that invades your personal space and smells a little like dirty diapers really ticked/hurt that they’re not invited? I don’t talk to you more than I have to, so why would I pay for your meal, drinks and entertainment for the evening? (Again, true story).
As a bride, I am so tired of being told what is considered rude when it comes to my finance and I’s wedding. Guess what, it’s not about my cousin’s two year old who literally scales walls to get into food he’s not suppose to (true story). The day isn’t about them. Guest should feel HONORED to be invited at all, not that it’s an obligation or that the bride and groom are not taking into consideration anyone else’s feelings.
All that being said, we are inviting 35 kids (all cousin’s children) to our wedding – not by our own choice. We will probably end up letting a few plus one’s come that we hadn’t planned on. I really don’t care what people think of our pulled pork and party potato menu and there is going to be about 2 hrs between the ceremony and reception to kill for people and they’re welcome to go to the reception hall immediately following the reception to have a few beers, but we have to take pictures and we want to stop at our favorite watering hole along the way to have a drink.
I wrestled with the menu and the gap in time and the guest list for awhile and felt really guilty about it at a few points when I finally realized: if someone is that upset about it, then I really don’t want them there anyway. And the people hurt by not being invited? Most of them haven’t gotten married in recent years and just don’t get how much money/time goes into wedding planning. Those who have, don’t ask the question “Where’s my invitation?”
Anyway – that is my rant, my first and probably last controversial post. Again, I am not putting anyone down by anything that I have said, if you feel that way, I truly didn’t mean it that way. I’m just fed up with people and how out of control it’s all gotten! 🙂 Back to basics: me and my finance committing to each other for the rest of our lives.