Post # 1
I’ve always had a lot of friends throughout elementary school, high school, college, and even post-college. But I’ve also moved a lot. I’ve lived in about 5 places in the past decade. And my friends keep relocating to different states. I know that I still have a lot of friends who care about me, but I’m really bad at keeping in touch so, at most, I’ll talk to my closest friends about once a month. To make things worse, I’m living with FI for the next three months in a state I’ve never been to. I know two people in this city other than FI – one is my FI’s friend and the other is a guy friend who’s not exactly one of my closest friends. I’m feeling really lonely now that I just got engaged and have no one to wedding plan with me. I could fly to where one of my friend’s is to go dress shopping, but that seems really expensive and all of my friends live in totally different places. Going dress shopping alone sounds really depressing. I’m even thinking about dragging FI with me.
I’m wondering if anyone else is in my shoes and what you’re doing about it.
Post # 3
I am not in your exact position but I kind of feel/understand where you are coming from. Many of my life long friends have moved away and started new lives. I have been focused on school and establishing a career and they have done the same. I think it is a part of growing up and being an adult. At big milestones in your life, like getting married, it may seem like you have NO FRIENDS but I if you are like me, the people you do have are the ones who are most important to you. I have realized that it is much better to have a small amount of important and loyal people then trying to hold on the old friendships when it is just impossible to do.
In terms of dress shopping, do you have any family?
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I had a similar situation. I have no friends where I live, and going dress shopping alone wasn’t on my list of things to do (nothing wrong with it, though). I spoke to my best friend, maid of honor, and she was happy to fly out for a long weekend and go dress shopping with me. While she was here, we found my dress and her’s! Try asking your closest friend/s to come out. I bet you’ll be surprised.
Post # 5
@liliwo2016: The best way to attract friends is to be a friend – it takes effort to maintain those relationships long distance, especially when your lives are in different phases. So think back to all of the friends you have been especially helpful to in the past…whether it was helping to plan their wedding, throwing a baby shower, providing support through a challenging time, etc. Those are the friends you should be able to call upon now that you’re in need of support. My friends all live long distance and span the whole map of the US & UK, but I make a point to call them so we can be supportive to one another no matter what life stage we’re in. I agree with Mrs. Gremmlin that I bet you’ll be surprised. 🙂 Most of all – be happy that you’re in this amazing milestone of being engaged!!!
Post # 6
I can relate – more than once I have complained to SO that my friends back home have “forgotten” about me. I do try and keep in touch with a few at least once a week by text or e-mail, and once every few weeks I’ll sit down and try and call everyone so I’m on the phone the entire night. We are not planning on having a huge wedding, and I think that part of the reason (though definitely not all) is because he does not have many friends and I also don’t feel as if the friends I have would make the commitment to be in my wedding. Sad, but I am ok with it.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the tips. I don’t have any family in my city right now. Again, I could fly a few states over and meet up with family or friends, but I don’t know if I want to spend the money as money’s pretty tight for us right now and we’re doing a lot of saving to pay for everything.
One of my other problems is that I’ve always been sort of a tom boy, which means most of my closest friends are guys. When FI was about to propose, I dragged my guy friend ring shopping with me so I could give FI ring suggestions. It’s fair to say my friend was not happy about the whole experience.
I’ll talk to one of my girlfriends to see if she wants to meet me somewhere.
GirlNextDoor: I’m definitely excited to be engaged! I just wish I had a bff close by to share in planning all the details of the wedding! (That’s probably why I’m on wbee so much these days.)
Post # 8
@mrs_pudding_pop: You are already doing so much better than I am with keeping in touch. It’s something I need to work on.
Post # 9
Oh, man. I can so commiserate with what you are saying. I grew up living in the same house until I was 19, so I have a tight knit group of friends from high school. After my parents divorced, I moved around so much. I moved again last January when I transfered schools to finish my bachelors degree. I now live about three hours from my close friends, so I only see them a few times a year. When I visit, I don’t get a lot of their inside jokes… and basically, I am not a part of their daily life anymore. After moving so much, sometimes I get tired of even trying to make new friends. Like you, I have friends- great, fantastic friends- they just don’t live where I do!
Anyways, sorry for rambling! If you ever want to PM me, please feel free.
Post # 10
What state do you live in? Well anyway, I’m in WA state (Seattle area). And here someone started a Meetup.com group for brides to be. To join the group is free…whoever created the group pays dues. And the group basically meets up for whatever. This particular group meets up for chats and drinks and bride talk. Right before my engagement party I met up with a gal from our group and we got manicures.
You could check and see if your city/state has a bride meetup?
I actually took my FI dress shopping and he came to my first fitting. I have terrible anxiety…even if I had a lot of friends close by he’d be there anyway.
Post # 11
@icetea: A meetup group is a great idea! That is so cool that your fiance went with you to dress shopping. There is such a social stigma about that which I don’t get. If that made you happier and more comfortable on such a special occasion, that is awesome!
Post # 12
Is your wedding really in February of 2014? You have soooooo much time to find a dress, why not just go the next time you’re home (even if it’s in a year…). I assume you will see at least one friend/family member over the holidays, so have them go shopping with you then. I wouldn’t be completely opposed to going dress shopping alone either.