(Closed) Throwing myself a pity party (no friends)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am not in your exact position but I kind of feel/understand where you are coming from. Many of my life long friends have moved away and started new lives. I have been focused on school and establishing a career and they have done the same. I think it is a part of growing up and being an adult. At big milestones in your life, like getting married, it may seem like you have NO FRIENDS but I if you are like me, the people you do have are the ones who are most important to you. I have realized that it is much better to have a small amount of important and loyal people then trying to hold on the old friendships when it is just impossible to do.

In terms of dress shopping, do you have any family?

Post # 4
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I had a similar situation. I have no friends where I live, and going dress shopping alone wasn’t on my list of things to do (nothing wrong with it, though). I spoke to my best friend, maid of honor, and she was happy to fly out for a long weekend and go dress shopping with me. While she was here, we found my dress and her’s! Try asking your closest friend/s to come out. I bet you’ll be surprised.

Post # 5
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

@liliwo2016:  The best way to attract friends is to be a friend – it takes effort to maintain those relationships long distance, especially when your lives are in different phases.  So think back to all of the friends you have been especially helpful to in the past…whether it was helping to plan their wedding, throwing a baby shower, providing support through a challenging time, etc.  Those are the friends you should be able to call upon now that you’re in need of support. My friends all live long distance and span the whole map of the US & UK, but I make a point to call them so we can be supportive to one another no matter what life stage we’re in.   I agree with Mrs. Gremmlin that I bet you’ll be surprised. 🙂  Most of all – be happy that you’re in this amazing milestone of being engaged!!!  

Post # 6
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I can relate – more than once I have complained to SO that my friends back home have “forgotten” about me.  I do try and keep in touch with a few at least once a week by text or e-mail, and once every few weeks I’ll sit down and try and call everyone so I’m on the phone the entire night.  We are not planning on having a huge wedding, and I think that part of the reason (though definitely not all) is because he does not have many friends and I also don’t feel as if the friends I have would make the commitment to be in my wedding.  Sad, but I am ok with it. 

Post # 9
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh, man. I can so commiserate with what you are saying. I grew up living in the same house until I was 19, so I have a tight knit group of friends from high school. After my parents divorced, I moved around so much. I moved again last January when I transfered schools to finish my bachelors degree. I now live about three hours from my close friends, so I only see them a few times a year. When I visit, I don’t get a lot of their inside jokes… and basically, I am not a part of their daily life anymore. After moving so much, sometimes I get tired of even trying to make new friends. Like you, I have friends- great, fantastic friends- they just don’t live where I do!

Anyways, sorry for rambling! If you ever want to PM me, please feel free.

Post # 10
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What state do you live in?  Well anyway, I’m in WA state (Seattle area).  And here someone started a Meetup.com group for brides to be.  To join the group is free…whoever created the group pays dues.  And the group basically meets up for whatever.  This particular group meets up for chats and drinks and bride talk.  Right before my engagement party I met up with a gal from our group and we got manicures.

You could check and see if your city/state has a bride meetup?

I actually took my FI dress shopping and he came to my first fitting.  I have terrible anxiety…even if I had a lot of friends close by he’d be there anyway.

Post # 11
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@icetea:  A meetup group is a great idea! That is so cool that your fiance went with you to dress shopping. There is such a social stigma about that which I don’t get. If that made you happier and more comfortable on such a special occasion, that is awesome!

Post # 12
Member
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Is your wedding really in February of 2014? You have soooooo much time to find a dress, why not just go the next time you’re home (even if it’s in a year…). I assume you will see at least one friend/family member over the holidays, so have them go shopping with you then. I wouldn’t be completely opposed to going dress shopping alone either.

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