Post # 1
I just watched an episode of the new show: “Prison Wives”. First of all, I have a my own opinions about the women who seek out a man who is already incarcerated. BUT how about the women who are married to a man and then he ends up in jail serving a life sentence (without the possibility of parole!). W-O-W.
I’m not so sure that I would be strong enough to stick around. Does this mean I need to change our vows!? lol. How about you? Could you live 30, 40, 50, SIXTY years with your husband behind bars?
I wonder if the tables were turned… I don’t know that I would expect Fiance to stay married to me. I would be so sad to see him lose a lifetime of marriage and happiness and family because of a crime I committed.
Post # 3
Oh yay! just noticed my colors changed! I’m a busy bee!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Oh wow. This is a tough one. I hate to say it but, it might just depend on how long we’d been together before the incarceration, knowwhatImean? That said, I’ve been with Mr. MJ less than three years and I can’t bear the thought of “gee I love you hun but I have to move on with my life”. So, I guess I dunno.
Post # 5
Wow now that is an interesting question.
I guess it really depends on the crime committed and the possibility of parole!
But if he did something that was bad enough for a LIFETIME sentence I think it would be over because of the crime and not because he was in jail.
Post # 6
I believe in the whole “as long as we both shall live” but I honestly think there exceptions to every rule. For my Fiance and I, those include addiction, abuse, and adultery. You bring up a really good point about long-term imprisonment. I certainly hope we are never in that position! It’s something for me to think about though!
Edit: For the 3 things I listed, I don’t mean that divorce will automatically happen if one of those things occurs… however, if the offending person isn’t willing to seek professional help, that’s were ending it may occur.
Post # 7
Yeah, it’s a doozy. I would feel bad to leave if I was the non-offender, but if I was the offender, I would feel bad to have Fiance stay. Very complicated, and I do agree that if he got a LIFE SENTENCE I would probably leave him for the crime he committed. BUT, in this show, some of the wives truly believe their hubbies to be innocent. wow-za
Post # 8
Yeah, I’m writing my own vows, I won’t include “till death.” There are far too many horrible circumstances in which I would seek a divorce:
– abuse to me or children
– cheating (not automatic)
– imprisonment for terrible crime
– long-term substance abuse
– long-term refusal to be intimate
– betrayal of our relationship (if he suddenly turned into a chauvanist pig or refused to have chilrden)
Hope none of the above happens, but still.
Post # 9
I think it would depend on if I thought he was guilty. If he did it, then he CHOSE to become incarcerated, and I would CHOOSE a divorce. But if he didn’t do it, I would stay with him even if it was 60 years. You just don’t know the heartbreak for someone who is in jail and innocent. I couldn’t put the nail in his coffin, I’d stand by my man!
Post # 10
I know some people are anti-divorce, but I have to say that if I thought he had honestly done something (murdered someone in cold blood with NO justification of self-defense, etc, raped and killed, or whatever) he would not be the person I married, and I would divorce him.
But, that very situation os one of the reasons that we think long and hard about marriage, and why I wouldn’t marry someone I ever thought capable of such actions.
Alas, I’m sure many “prison wives” don’t think it will happen to them, either.
Post # 11
What an interesting thing to think about. I’m with you, I don’t think I would stick around, although it would depend on the charges…
My leaving wouldn’t be related to him being away (I’m already used to that- we’re dual military!), but rather whatever he DID to send him to jail in the first place.
Post # 12
It’s so hard to say what I would do!
I did just hear such a sad story yesterday, though. Someone I know is waiting for their bf to get out of prison because when he was 22 he had sex with his gf who was 17. Well, over 5 years later, she couldn’t get over the fact that they had been broken up for 5 years and threatened to tell the cops if he wouldn’t dump his current gf and get back with her. He didn’t, so she went to the cops, they charged him with statuatory rape, and now he’s in prison for 5 years! So sad!
Post # 13
For me, too, depends on whether or not I thought he was guilty. If I thought he was, then it would depend on the nature of the crime & whether I thought it undermined our marriage. Any crime I can think of that would lead to such a major prison sentence = undermining our marriage… that is, IF he really did it. Tough situation, all around. I really feel sorry for the children of people in prison/jail. So hard on them
Post # 14
Ohhh, thats a tough one. It would totally depend on what put him behind bars, and if he was guilty. If it was a violent crime (rape, murder, arson etc.) and he was guilty then I’d divorce him so quick it would make his head spin. The man I love isn’t a violent person, so he wouldn’t be the man I married anymore.
I’m unsure of how I’ll word my vows. I don’t want ’till death do us part’ or ‘as long as we both shall live’. I was thinking ‘for as long as our love shall last’ but that just sounds like an escape clause to me.
Post # 15
For me, it’s simple. If he did something horrendous, incarcerated or not I’d be gone! But I can say confidently that I don’t think that’ll be a problem 🙂 However if he was incarcerated and we both believed he was innocent I’d stay with him… it’s rare but it does happen thatpeople are innocent but incarcerated.
Post # 16
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I feel like if he were to do something big enough to warrant a lifetime in prison, he is not the same man I married, and I don’t think I could stay. Does that makes sense? My Fiance is the last person in the world who I could imagine committing some huge crime, so if he did, then I’d really feel like I don’t know him at all – and I couldn’t stay married to him.
However, it’d be a different story if he was somehow in prison for something he didn’t do. That would be a much harder decision.