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i've heard 4 months is the standard timeline.
mydress2.jpg (32.9 KB, 103 downloads) 2 years old mydress.jpg (23.2 KB, 56 downloads) 2 years old 
How long did they tell you it would take?
I think you can realistically get "snippy" once their deadline has passed.
I agree that you should at least ask a few more questions. When I ordered my dress they gave me a firm "ship date" and indicated that the dress would be here 5 to 7 days after that date. I should think that BM dresses work the same way. I would ask what the original ship date was, and what the revised ship date is, and what has caused the change. If you get any evasive answers, I would also go ahead and ask them what date they placed the order, as maybe that is part of the problem... (I hope not. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.)
I would try to refrain from getting snippy with the shop staff. If the delay is caused by the manufacturer, it's really not the shop's fault. My veil was delayed because the fabric needed to make it was stuck in the hold of a Chinese ship for weeks while they sorted out a customs dispute. The shop can't control things like that. It would be perfectly fine to ask them to inquire as to the reason for the delay and an expected ship date though. You could also ask them if they have had delays with that manufacturer before, and if so, maybe suggest to them that they make future brides aware that a delay is likely.
Thanks all....I'm waiting for a call from the shop owner and will hopefully get some solid answers...and now I have some good questions to ask her.
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We placed our order the first weekend in November '07, the same time I ordered my wedding gown (which I have had in my possession for over a month now). When I picked my gown up I asked about the girls' dresses...figuring they would be in before mine. They said they should be in by March. Here we are almost April and still no calls. Soooo....I called today to check and the girl said they were "running late" and I should expect them in a week or two. Just wondering how long I should "wait" before I start getting snippy.