Post # 16
knotyet : Whew! This is heavy but super helpful! He does talk about all of those things, but it lacks concreteness for me at this point with no proposal (kind of like he wasn’t seriously planning, just imagining)
I am for sure having trouble being an active part of our decision making, but im unsure how to assert that I can admit. When waiting for a proposal, I feel like all I can do is wait. If not, I’m nagging/pressuring him.
A sit down and some kind of confirmation is much needed before I lose it! 2020 is not okay!
Post # 17
Lol, you want what all women want? It’s like saying all men want is sex, food, money, and a nice car.
What your BF needs to realize is that some women, growing up, look a their future and think ‘I’m getting an education/job, getting married, having kids, having grandkids, retiring’. Take out a few or add a few but that’s the basics. What he seems to want to do is ‘get an education/job, date, date, date, date, die’.
him talking about the future with you is like making a bucket list like going to Rome or climbing Mt Everest and not doing anything but talking about it. It does not mean he is actually seriously planning a future with you, but it is at least a sign. But his actions are telling you otherwise.
I broke up with my BF after 2 years and him saying he was never getting married. No hard feelings, I’ll find someone who is more aligned with my life’s plan and you find someone who never wants to get married. 2 months later he showed back up and 2 months after that I had a ring. Married him, had two kids, 13 years later then he realized yea he never wanted to get married and we divorced. (We are still friends and everything is fine but omg it hurt). I asked him why he asked me to marry him and he said “well I was getting older and I figured you were the best I was going to find’. Because he was afraid of being alone. Now he’s not, he just wastes 3-5 years on revolving girlfriends until one of them gets tired of the marriage topic. Not saying your man is my ex, just something to consider.
Post # 18
The only thing that is going to give you a satisfying answer is talking to him. Communication is so important, so whether he likes it or not- make him talk.lol