Post # 1
Hey ladies, I have a question on a logistical and somewhat ethical dilema.
I know my ring has been purchased. About 3 weeks ago he left his email open on MY computer (no deliberate snooping) where I saw the purchase confirmation from Moissaniteco.com (I even resisted seeing what he finally settled on for a setting).
We had gone back and forth on the stone size between 8×6 and 9×7 ovals and I ultimately left it up to him to choose, thinking if I really felt whatever he got was too big or too small, I’d just send it back for what would fit my taste. I also haven’t seen moissanite in real life yet and am still curious about the moodiness of the stone and if I’d have preferred a RB or a smaller cut.
But this was 3 weeks ago. There’s no indication of a proposal in the coming days, and I’m not *really* supposed to know this has been finalized and purchased. By early next week we’ll be out of the return period and I won’t be able to make any changes.
I know this is very vain, but I also really want to embrace whatever jewelry i get as a lifetime heirloom. I don’t want to try it on for the first time in a proposal setting, with no ability to make adjustments, to find I would have preferred something a little different, particularly since everything was done online.
Do I find a way to bring this up? Get over myself and know that whatever it is will probably be perfect in the moment that he choses to make our forever plans official? The practical and romantical sides of my brain are battling here. Any suggestions?
Post # 3
you make suggestions, i’d really like an x stone, or a __ setting would be really pretty
or give him pictures of what you like.
i gave my FI picutres, he designed the ring himself. i told him i would be happy with any stone but pear or marquis.
my ring was delayed and my mom felt i needed a ring on my finger until i got my real ring so she gave me her pear solitare to wear as a placeholder. after a week, it really grew on me. i told FI, while not what I would have chosen, i was beginning to really like it. and if this was my ring, i would have been thrilled. i wore it for a month before my real ring arrived.
so what’s to say that once you see this ring, you won’t like it.
Post # 4
@ajillity81: You’re totally right. I mean, the stone shape chosen was clear, just a debate on size, and I’m about 90% confident I know what setting. It’s all a matter of the unknown in what the final product looks like. But, he did include me extensively in the process and I’m certain it will be beautiful, I just don’t want any regrets with such a significant and expensive piece of jewerly. I’ve been hunting on here for someone else that has it in person to ease my fears but it hadn’t been spotted. I guess it’s a good thing, since it suggests I’m getting something unique? haha
I think perhaps it might all be more chalked up to pre-propsal jitters?
Post # 5
You could try to bring it up, but you gave him two options and told him to choose one. If you were worried you wouldn’t be happy with his choice you should have picked out a ring together. You can’t really tell someone you will be happy with their choice and then weeks/months later change your mind and tell them that you might not be happy with their choice.
And in all honesty you will probably be thrilled with whatever he chooses. That and some days I think my stone looks small, some days I think it looks huge but the majority of days I think it is the perfect size. So you might initially think your stone is too small/large but eventually decide that it is the perfect size because it is yours and at any other size/style/setting it wouldn’t be the same ring.
Post # 6
@thenaturalginger: I say don’t worry about it. You’re not supposed to know about the ring in the first place and bringing it up with him could (and probably would) take some of the romance and whimsy out of the whole experience, especially for him. It sounds like you already know, at least vaguely, what the ring will look like so if the size is your main concern I think it’s better just to let it go and let him surprise you.
Post # 7
@thenaturalginger: If it was me, I would definitely say something. Something like, “Honey, I know we’ve talked about getting me a moissanite in the past. I just wanted to say that whenever you do decide to purchase it, I would love to see it before the return period runs out, just to make sure everything about it is just right.”
My MCo ring came with a manufacturer’s defect that they fixed for free because I spoke up right away. I imagine if I had waited weeks or months it might have been more difficult.
Post # 8
@thenaturalginger: I don’t think you should bring it up. Let him surprise you. You let him decide in the end, and trust his judgement. if it is too small, upgrade at a later time. I’m all for being non-traditional, but something as far as stone size should be up to him if that is what the original plan was. I know it is hard, trust me, but it will make you appreciate the thought he put into something special for you 🙂
Post # 9
@ceebree: Yeah, this. A LOT of guys don’t even think about the return period at all, so I’d just mention it.
The other thing is, return dates for online are usually from date of shipment or date or receipt, not date of purchase. I don’t know how long it takes for a MoissaniteCo ring to be made and shipped, but you could have more time than you think.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the responses ladies. I think I need to just ride it out. There’s very little mystery left in our dating-to-engagement transition and this is one thing I don’t want to ruin. I’m fretting over 1.5 or 2.2 cts, and three bands that I adored so much I couldn’t choose.
I’m going to wait it out and trust that if he didn’t feel compelled to show it to me it means that upon his own inspection everything is beautiful.
We’re going to Europe in 3 weeks and it’s likely going to happen right before or when we’re there. I know my wait is almost over.
Please excuse me while I go continue to stare at ring porn and dresses and study diets to shed the last 10lbs while I hurry up and wait.
Thanks for keeping me sane.
Post # 11
@thenaturalginger: I’d say something definitely. Youve never seen a moissy irl. Not to be negative but have seen some rather warm (sl yellow) looking photos here of Bees moissinite rings even w the amora n fb treatmts.Especially given that u have chosen a different shape, would want to see it in person. There have been Bees that didnt like moissy after they saw it irl. However many do love them too.
While moissanite is a fraction of the cost of a diamond, they still not as inexpensive as cz so would hate for your fiance tobe out the money in case u didnt 100% like it.
Post a pic when u get it! 🙂
Post # 12
Oooooh! Update? I was gonna say maybe you should lst time run out….I hope you got it? Like it?