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We are in a similar boat. Our ceremony starts at 3pm and cocktail hour does not start until 6pm.
At first I was all upset running around worried about my guest but in the end I have just decided that there really isn't much I can do. I have actully decided that it is a good thing b/c we will be able to get all of our pics done and we will be able to participate in cocktail hour!
My Aunt has offered to host family and friends at my fathers house and becasue my parents are divorced and my mom is refusing to grasp the concept of her family or my Step-dad's family going to my Dad's house we will also be direcrting people to the lobby/bar of the hotel where we have rooms blocked. I am also going to include some local attrations...national park, mall, outlets!
This info is on our website and I will either include it in the program or in another packet of papers to be distributed as guest leave the ceremony. Plus, I am having the Mom's inform their respective families of the time gap!
Do what you can to accomadate your guest but don't stress over it!
I've seen a few posts about this. I have not been to a wedding where this happened (the gap between ceremony and reception)
So just out of curiousity has anyone gone to wedding that this happened? Did you skip the ceremony? What do you do between events? I'd be at a loss as to what to do.....
I personally don't think it's a big deal. Every wedding that I've been to has had this gap (anywhere from an hour to 3.5 hours). Many guests, esp Catholic ones, will be used to this. I always used the time to go back to the hotel room, relax and change. If the reception is fancy, then often women esp like to wear a different more elegant dress to the reception than to church (ie more of a "church" dress to the ceremony). I think people may enjoy having the down time. Our ceremony starts at 2:30 and our cocktail hour isn't until 7pm. We'll give people lists or ideas of things to do in the area, but I bet most people will just go back and hang out at their hotels.
Also, I've never known anyone who explicitly skips the ceremony or reception simply because of the time gap. HTH! :)
ive been to one wedding with the gap (catholic), and the grooms mom hosted a party in between at her house. the bridal party went to do their pics & maybe it was 2 hours, and it was fine. a lot of driving here & then there in between but whatever, most people are used to driving and it ate up some time. it was also super nice that day, so we were all outside at the moms house, and it was a cousin so i knew everyone. i wouldnt want a gap- but if there isnt anything to do about it, then id suggest some "activity" they can do inbetween.
I've been to loads of Catholic weddings (grew up in a predominatley Irish, Italian, Polish & Puerto Rican city) and worst case scenario, you might get a handful of people who skip the ceremony.
2 pm isn't really too bad of a gap anyway. How long is your ceremony? Are you having a full mass?
We had didn't have a full mass and it was still almost an hour by the time it was officially over, and then we did a recieving line, which probably took up almost another hour.
So I wouldn't worry too much about it. People will find a way to entertain themselves.
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Thanks everyone!
Radish--my fiance is not Catholic so we are not having a full mass. I was estimating the ceremony and receiving line to take an hour total but maybe I need to figure in more time?
I guess the upside is that instead of not being around during the reception because I'm taking photos, the photos will be done and I can enjoy the reception with my guests! Except then we wouldn't have a grand entrance. Hmm.
If only I had enough money to transport all my guests to a winery tour during the gap...that'd be great!
Boothbride -- I figured our actual ceremony would only be about 30 minutes long, but it was more like 40-45. We probably started about 5-10 minutes late because I wanted to make sure everyone was seated, etc.
It can depend on a few factors though, like the length of the aisle, the length of the sermon, how big your wedding party is, etc.
Our church had a 100 foot aisle, and we had 6 bridemaids & groomsmen, 2 flowergirls, 2 rinbearers, and 2 "banner boys." (there are a lot of kids in our family that we needed to include) So it probably took a good 10 minutes each for the processional and recessionals.
We also did the unity candle ceremony with our mothers, which was optional. Probably another 5 minutes added there.
We had 2 readings. I don't remember if we had to have at least 2 or if we chose that.
I don't remember how long the priest's little sermon was. That's probably the biggest variable. I've been to wedding before where they keep it short and sweet... and I've been to others where they ramble on forever. You never really know what he's gonna say until the time comes!
How many guests are you expecting? That will make a difference in how long to plan for if you do a receiving line.
Radish, We expect about 175 guests and will have 6 bridesmaids/groomsmen. We don't have many kids in our family so we are still unsure if we even have any ringbearer and flower girl candidates!
I think we will do a receiving line...we certainly have the time!
Did you guys join in on your reception? Or did you make a grand entrance to signal the end of the reception? Just curious about your reception timing :)
I've been to a lot of weddings that have a gap (my whole family is Catholic) and I actually enjoy it that way. We usually went back to the hotel just to relax and hang out, and when I was a kid we would get to go swimming in the pool. I think it's really nice for the bride and groom because you have plenty of time to get pictures taken. The wedding that I was a bridesmaid in still did a grand entrance; the bride and groom just joined us at a sports bar before it was time to go to the reception. We had a great time!
I'm confused here...you are saying reception, as in you'll miss your reception if you do a grand entrance. Do you mean cocktail hour? Or the whole thing?
As far as the gap, the plan of giving people a place/bar to hang in between sounds ok. I personally would probably skip the ceremony if I was an in-town guest, but if I was an out-of-town guest, I would do both and just hang out some place in between.
Boothbride --
We weren't there for the cocktail hour. But we did make a grand entrance after the cocktail hour.
KateMW--Yep, reception=cocktail hour. Being a former event planner, I'm used to thinking about events as reception, then dinner, then dance. I've got to get this wedding terminology down!
Thanks for the input on the gap between the ceremony and reception!
I went to an Indian wedding that had a big gap between ceremony & reception. We went bowling :) In full wedding attire. It was lots of fun! I'd suggest that.It was perfect because you don't really work too hard and it's in AC so you're not getting all sweaty and hot. You might need to reserve a few lanes in advance though.
I went to an Indian wedding that had a big gap between ceremony & reception. We went bowling :) In full wedding attire. It was lots of fun! I'd suggest that.It was perfect because you don't really work too hard and it's in AC so you're not getting all sweaty and hot. You might need to reserve a few lanes in advance though.
We had a 2pm ceremony, receiving line, 20 minute ride to the reception...and just got started! We had a 1.5 hour cocktail "hour" and early dinner and lots of dancing. It was a long wedding but people were partying until our venue kicked us out at 10:30. I didn't want a gap and it's NOT common in our group friends or relatives.
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I don't think you should worry about it. The "gap" is pretty normal, and I know we've always found something to do.. catch a game at a sports bar, stop at a friend's house that lives near by, etc. Bowling was a great idea!
As I mentioned previously, we're having a fairly significant gap. Since most of our guests will be from out of town, we're offering a tour of Newport to our guests. We're using a huge shuttle bus (big 55 passenger motorcoach) to ferry people from their hotels to the church and back, but for those that want to, there will also be a narrated 1.5 hour tour of Newport. By the time it's over, and the bus stops back by the hotels to pick up the guests who didn't go on the tour, it should be time for our reception!
If you're interested in doing something like this, it was only $150 extra for us to add the tour. We already had to rent the bus in 4 hour increments, so it seemed better to us to at least make them be doing something instead of just waiting around! :)
I am getting married at 1 pm and a dessert buffet follows until 4 then a dance/cocktails starts at 7 pm. with a hor' dourve buffet. We have alot of family from out of town that will be leaving at 3 am to catch flights home so we wanted some quality time with them to say good-bye and we are also having photos finished. i was at a wedding that we waited 3 hours for the pictures being done! We were so hungry everyone ran to get in the food line when it was time!LOL! We also have adults only for the dance so this allows familys to take kids home etc. we have alot of older people also so this allows them to get home early.
wow I guess I'm the lone dissenter here. I personally think it's kind of thoughtless when there is a big gap between the ceremony and the reception. Now I'm not catholic and have never been to a catholic wedding so this might be a norm just not in my circle.
If you're an out of town guess and the hotel is near by I guess you can just go to your hotel and hang out. But what about the people who are too close to get a hotel but too far to drive back home, (like an hour and a half away)? THis happened to me this summer at a wedding I went to which was all around poorly planned. There were sooo many guest just kind of wondering around and milling about the reception site for like an hour before it opened. I also noticed that A LOT of people skipped the ceremony and just went to the reception, (which i think is kind of rude). I think maybe if there is a definite plan for quests in between, somewhere for them to relax, (like a hospitality room at a hotel or a parents' house), then it might be ok.
This is my biggest issue. So many places in Philly do not allow the reception to begin until 6. My catholic ceremony will beging at 3:00pm. We are not having a full mass so I'm sure it will be over by 4:00. I want the bar to open at 4:30. My suburban family will not be staying at the hotel and will not understand the 2 hr wait. I know there are things to do in the city, but I just do not want a long gap.
I think my fiance's family is used to it more (they are catholic, I am not). We are going to decided on a venue one way or the other this month.
We're on the opposite end - with very little wiggle room for time!
We're having a 10 AM ceremony, with cocktail hour starting at 11. Our church was thrilled that we wanted the morning option, because then they don't have to rearrange Saturday confession!
We are not doing a full mass, and we're not doing a recieving line. The ceremony and reception are a 5 minute drive apart. Although I'm worried, the invitations are already printed, so there's no turning back now!
"wow I guess I'm the lone dissenter here. I personally think it's kind of thoughtless when there is a big gap between the ceremony and the reception. "
Well, sometimes (especially with catholic ceremonies) there just isn't anything you can do about it. My ceremony is at 2 pm. That is the latest in the day I can do it because the priest has to be to another church by 4 pm to give Saturday mass. We are having a cocktail hour at 5 pm, but there will be a 2 hour break in between the ceremony and the cocktail hour. There is drive time between the church and reception site that will take care of some of that time, but I would rather have 2 hours than 30 minutes and haveeveryone feel rushed. I would hate to think some of my guests view me as thoughtless because there is a two hour gap. If I could have the ceremony later, I would.
I had a catholic ceremony and had no problems scheduling my reception. My site only had one wedding a day, so they asked what time I wanted the reception to start and that was that.
I have actually never been to a wedding (most being catholic) with a large gap.
Don't worry at all about your gap or people thinking you are "thoughtless". I mean, you are inviting these people to participate in your marriage and providing them with dinner, drinks, dancing, and many other activities throughout the weekend. Hopefully those people you have chosen to participate in your day are so excited for you and your FH that they are filled with love and happiness rather than finding a way to criticize your plans.
We are having a Catholic mass in one week and have a gap. While this stressed me at the beginning, we decided to maximize the gap to actually allow people time to do something on their own. Our wedding is at 2pm (done by 3pm) and Cockatil starts at 6pm.
While I've recieved a few questions and snarky comments, just don't worry about it. Think of the wonderful things you can do for you, your groom, and your families. We will maximize this time to take all formal portraits and our caterer will be bringing us a tasting of all of our food so we don't forget to eat. Both MOB's are changing and I will have my makeup touched up
We provided plenty of suggestions but are lucky to have our wedding in a wonderful destination so I don't think people will be at a loss for things to do. By the time your guests leave, decide to go have adrink or meet at the hotel, chat a bit and freshen up....it will be time to start the party. We will be announced during the cocktail hour about 20mn in and I look forward to enjoying all of my reception with all of the formal pictures out of the way!!!
We know of one person not attending the ceremony but coming to the reception for work and travel reasons. On the other hand, we know some only participating in the ceremony.
I'm adding to the "don't worry about the gap" pool. If your families are Catholic, they will be used to this. Most Catholic churches (that I know of anywway) have some sort of Saturday evening mass that prevents an early evening wedding...hence the gap. There is typically nothing that can be done unless your reception hall is available, and you want to have a long cocktail hour or (very) early dinner reception.
We are having a 2:00 ceremony and 5:00 reception with no mass at the ceremony. I figure there will be about 2 hours of downtime for guests. I have added a link on our wedding website with some suggestions of places people can go between the ceremony and reception (bars/restaraunts, local parks and attractions, and shopping venues), then I added each location to our online wedding map so that guests have easy access to directions when they are planning their time.
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I had a coworker who was at a wedding last summer (catholic). The ceremony was at 3 with a mass and an apparently long sermon by the priest. The reception was dancing-only, no dinner, and didn't start until 8pm. This was very hard on my coworker's elderly mother and aunt, and the other older guests. This was a small town without very many activities to do if you don't know the area (2 screens at the movie theatre ... and that's about it), so OOT guests had no idea what to do. Most of the older folks were fading or had left before the couple even had their first dance.
Boothbride, I think the gap in your day is fine. As has been mentioned, you can be gracious by arranging for something optional to do. Non-local / OOT guests won't know what to do/where to go. Great ideas have been mentioned - an aunt hosting a gathering, booking a couple bowling lanes, or booking a room at a hotel. The first two of those ideas would not be very costly, but I have no idea about the last one. Other ideas would include arranging: a tour of a museum or garden, mini-golf, or provide tickets for a bus tour of the area. If you give only one idea or "event" to attend, you should consider paying for it, if you can. The other option, already mentioned, is also great: give a listing of local events (with a map!) and let them decide how to spend them time.
Good luck!
I am getting married at 2:30 at a church and the reception starts at 6. I was severly worried about it at first but again this is what the catholic religion does. There is confession at 4pm that day and that was the latest they would let us do the mass. There is things for people to do in the area and our venue is a country club and lodge in one so people can go to others rooms and find something to do. I think the groom's mother is going to have some snacks. In the scheme of things this day is for you and your future husband and people are there because they are excited to be a part of it. The gap can be a little annoying but don't even think twice about it. People will work around it and if they don't then its their loss!
I am not having a church wedding but we are getting married on the beach, and because the sunsets so early in November, we have to have our ceremony at 3pm! Our cocktail hour was not supposed to start until 6pm, so now we may move it up to 5pm and have the guests go up to their rooms, go to the hotel bar and wait because we can't be having dinner at 4:30 or 5pm! That is just way too early...
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So I've been reading through a lot of these comments and some of them are down right rude! Seriously! Us Catholic brides have NO choice about the time of the ceremony and unless we want everyone to be WASTED by 8pm, we can't very well have a cocktail hour that lasts 3 hours and starts at 4pm! I also struggled a lot with this... I really hated the idea of the gap, but there is just really nothing that can be done. My ceremony starts at 2:30 and will probably be done by 3:30 or a wee bit later. I am having the guests get back on the buses and go back to the hotel. I figure they will be on the bus by 4pm /4:15 and then back to the hotel by 4:30, so they have about a 45 min break to "refresh themselves" and then the buses will wait and then take them at 5:15 to our reception for a 5:30 cocktail hour. Its the best way I could arrange it. I toyed with the idea of doing a trolley ride to take them around where we grew up but i could not find enough trolley's and i kind of thought being stuck on a trolley for an hour would be more miserable.
Basically... your guests will understand, and if they are gracious guests they won't complain. And if they do.... screw 'em!
Just wanted to add my two cents. I got married this past weekend (taking a break from packing for our honeymoon). I am Catholic and my now-husband's family is Jewish therefore we had a Catholic mass with Jewish traditions. The ceremony was at 1pm and the reception didn't start until 530pm. It actually proved to be a good break to allow people to rest and freshen up for the 6 hour reception. I think the break is the reason that so many people stayed until the very end at 1130pm and some even further beyond. Guests were given suggestions on places to visit and luckily, since our reception was in the hotel many people were staying in, people were able to take advantage of the time. It also allowed us the time to do a receiving line at the church and greet our guests. As for us and the wedding party, we traveled around the city taking pictures which would not have been possible without the gap and made sure to have plently of snacks and beverages for our wedding party. I was also stressed about the gap in the early stages of planning but in the end am so happy we had it. We got to have all the pictures we really wanted and got to spend time with our friends.
Well, actually there is something you can do if you want to minimize the gap. You can have an earlier reception. I know one of the brides above mentioned that reception sites in Philly don't open earlier, and I'm not familiar with that, but here in Texas when I was researching sitses, I could start at any time I wanted to. Our ceremony will start at 3:00 with a full Mass so over aorund 4:00 or just after, 15 minute or so drive to the reception site, cocktail hour starts at 4:30. I think it's ok to serve the first course at 5:30, things will probably be wrapped up by 9:00 or so, in time for guests to get home if they didn't want to stay the night in the hotel or go after party. SInce we're getting married on the 4th of July we will have a big group going to the city fireworks show which will be a lot of fun I think.
"screw 'em"? Really? These are your guests! I don't get this whole attitude where people should only worry about themselves because guests should be so overwhelmed with joy for you that they will do whatever you ask. Once people show up to your wedding, they are your guests, and you should be concerned about them. If there is a gap, and you can't do anything about it, you should make sure your guets know and maybe offer them ideas of what to do like Missx.
I went to an OOT wedding, didn't realize there was a gap, and ended up sitting in a Starbucks for 2 hours in my nice clothes, waiting for the reception. Yes, I thought the bride wasn't very thoughtful to not let her guests know about this, or have any suggestions for what I should do in a city I didn't know.
Gaps happen. Just be thoughtful by providing some guidance to your guests, and I am sure they will be more than understanding!
My question is, how can guests NOT be aware that there is a gap of time between the end of the ceremony and the cocktail hour or reception? And if, as a guest, you know the time of the ceremony and the time of the reception, then you should know to plan accordingly for yourself. Be responsible and do your research - look up area attractions, bring a book, or go back to the hotel and freshen up.
I certainly do not think it is thoughtless of the wedding couple to have a gap of time to allow them to sign the marriage license, take pictures, or whatever else they may need to do - so long as it is reasonable - a few hours or something. I say that if the guests are aware of the timing of things ahead of time then they shouldn't complain or take issue with it - that is self-centered on the guests part to expect to be entertained every single second.
I suppose I always thought that times of the wedding ceremony and reception were information given to every guest beforehand in a variety of ways (invitation, perhaps on the wedding website, etc.) so that everyone will know if there is a gap or not. Maybe not though. Maybe some invitations simply state "reception to follow."
We are having a gap of about 2 hours. However, since our wedding is a destination wedding for everyone involved and it looks like everyone is planning to stay at the resort where our reception is being held, I don't anticipate any problems - people can congregate and chat, take a nap in their rooms, watch tv, freshen up, explore the town and general area, etc. in between. And we are putting times on our invitations and website so everyone is aware of the gap.
We have this same gap at our wedding, and I wouldn't have it any other way! From the bride's point of view, we get to have all of our pictures done and out of the way before the quests even arrive, eliminating stress to "hurry up and get the pictures", when we all know us brides really only care about getting our beautiful black and white wedding day portraits to hang on our mantle! Right, bees?? And yes, I've been to plenty of wedding where there is a time gap, and as a guest, I love it! You get to mingle with everyone after the ceremony, have time to pick up last minute cards, signings, and I can't tell you how many times we've all caught up with out-of-state friends and grabbed a drink before! It's perfect! No worries, it will all work out!
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Hey all!
We are having our wedding at a church that only does 2 p.m. ceremonies on Saturdays. Our reception venue hasn't been finalized yet but most of the venues we are looking at won't be available until 5 p.m. or so.
So if you have time in between your ceremony and reception, what are you doing? What are you suggesting your guests do? I don't think I like this big space of time!