Post # 1
My husbands family lives two hours away and feels they should see us generally every weekend. They ask to stay at our house with their two kids that still live at home (10yrs 13yrs) and thier dog.
It really is getting to be too much for me!!! Plus my husband is rather reserved so I feel like its a lot of work for me to do personally having to plan things, cook, and entertain them…..
Your thoughts? Thanks bees!
Post # 3
I voted one weekend a month, because that is about how often we see them, BUT we live almost 1.5 hours away. I’m sure we would see them more often if we were closer, and that would be fine too.
But yes, your FI’s family is being rude and demanding to expect that! When FI’s family visits us, it is usually for one day, and they never ASK to stay, only when we invite them overnight.
When we visit them, we usually stay 1-2 days.
Post # 4
.. way too much!
DH family lives four hours away. We see them every few months plus on special occassions.
When we see them, we make a weekend of it. It is more special that way.
Post # 5
I don’t know. The poll asks about OUR families, but we can’t say what is right for you and yours/ what is right for ours is not what is right for yours.
I would tell your SO/ designate some jobs for him to when they are coming- like he is in charge of 1 meal or doing the laundry for them, or whatever works for you. Just communicate about it.
Post # 6
@chacomom: eek. every weekend?! thats a lot. id say once a month. preferably less, but if theyre used to every weekend i think thats the most youd get it reduced to without hard feelings. i do think you should spend some weekends alone with your husband!
can you alternate visits…spend some time in their house so you arent hosting?
edit – thinking about it, i cant see any way on earth that you can reduce it without hard feelings. good luck with that :S
my parents live in uk (and we’re in emxico) so once a year. his parents are 4 hours drive away so around once every 6weeks/2 months
Post # 7
I don’t know about “should.” Every family is different, but I think whatever arrangement you have has to work for everyone. Cutting back from every weekend to once a month seems reasonable to me. My family lives about 2 hours away and we tend to see them every month or two, although more in the fall because we have a ton of birthdays then. If they lived in the same town we might see them weekly, but not like for the whole weekend.
Post # 8
Every weekend… that’s insane. But you mustn’t say anything to the in-laws. It has to be your husband who handles his own parents, saying they can’t come every weekend.
When we first married it was every few weeks, though we lived close enough there was never any staying over.
Post # 9
Every weekend is just crazy. Does your husband like the frequency of visits, or is he with you on wanting to cut back?
My ILs are about 2 hours away and we see them every other month or so, plus holidays and special occasions. My family is 8 hours away and we see them 3-4 times a year.
Post # 10
I wish we could spend more time with our families, but we live 100 miles away from our hometown, so we really only get to see them once a month or so!
Having to host people in your house every weekend sounds exhausting to me!
Post # 11
I see ours almost once a week when we go to Sunday lunch at their house, but I don’t go every week. I like them, so it’s fine with me.
Post # 12
We see his dad’s side a lottt and I love spending time with them. Usually once a month if we can. His mom’s side I’ve never actually met, and we only see his mom twice a year since she lives 4 hours away and refuses to drive here. -_-
Post # 13
My FI’s family lives two hours away and we try to go for every 3 day weekend, some weekends (we’ll leave directly after work on Fri and drive to work on Mon morning, so we really get the full weekend), we go on Thanksgiving weekend and Christmas sometimes for the full week til New Years. We try to go as often as we can, I love going there, it’s always a blast.
Even if they lived closer, we wouldn’t be seeing them EVERY weekend. That’s just absurd. We have lives outside of our families, too.
Post # 14
I absolutely refuse to see either his or my family more often than once a week. In the end, people end up seeing us one every few months or so and leaves us having to see someone or another multiple fricken times a week. I cannot stand it. I cannot wait to move farther away again. I want my weekends back.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Woah, every weekend is WAY too much! I would say every month or so if you live 2 hours away. We only see my future in laws 3 to 5 times a year and it’s definitely not enough – I love them so much.
Post # 16
Oh god, every weekend! I’d rather eat glass. Once a month and special events.