(Closed) Timeframe decisions…….what to do????

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Good for you for moving out! I definitely admire you sticking up for yourself.

But….my advice is KEEP STICKING UP FOR YOURSELF! This whole thing about “getting burned”, you’re right he can’t use that as an excuse forever. And he needs to figure it out. And he’ll figure it out more quickly if you stay separated.

I’m a little confused becuase on one hand you say you’ve told him you have no interest in getting back together, then you say you’ll give him 2-3 months to propose? Really?!?! Breakups suck but if you’re serious about having what you deserve in a relationship, you’ve got to genuinely move on with your life now. Either he’ll figure it out and come back to chase you down with a ring, or he won’t. And you know you deserve someone who’s crazy about you and will commit to you.

My 2 cents:

Don’t contact him. Don’t get back together with him. No kissing, no sex, nothing. If he doesn’t show up at your door with a ring I would absolutely not trust him to be in a relationship with you again and risk getting hurt. You are 100% right to be afraid of getting hurt. Trust your intuition on this one.

 

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I remember your previous posts and I say good for you for moving out.

Your ex can not be 100% with you if he’s still so hurt by what another woman did to him that he doesn’t trust you after all these years.

And you deserve someone to be with you 100%. I mean, yeah he’s been hurt before. He has baggage. WHO DOESN’T???

You being out of the house will either make him realize that he needs to snap out of it because he’s losing you, or it will confirm that he is not ready to commit yet.

I agree with DreamingBee, I would not date him at all if I were you. You made your feelings clear, now if he wants to do something about it, it’s in his hands… In the meantime, if you date him and he’s not ready to commit, you are not moving on and making yourself emotionally available for a man who would be ready for you and amazing and all that.

Post # 6
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with all of the above posts.  Try and stick to your guns.  I wouldn’t even call/text him.  I didn’t meet the right guy until I was 33.  And prior to that, my parents did not like one guy I dated.  So I can relate to you on that one!

Anyway, did you give him the deadline date?  I mean, do you want to be engaged to him or just engaged? 

Post # 7
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Honey, if he wants to commit to you, he will figure out how to do it. By trying to leave all doors open for him and dating him, you are doing the work for him. Believe me, if he wants to marry you and realizes that he doesn’t want to live without you, HE will call to say he’s sorry and needs to speak to you and see you or show up on your doorstep.
You have done more than your part here.

Post # 8
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Good point @egb. 

Post # 9
Member
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@egb: agreed.

No need to talk and text. He’s had years of talking and texting. Take care of yourself now and move on.

The topic ‘Timeframe decisions…….what to do????’ is closed to new replies.

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