- 7 years ago
I decided a long time ago that I would never give BF an ultimatium about getting engaged.
But now that my emotions over not being engaged yet are so out of control, I need to set a timeline with him. But it needs to be a quick timeline.
The problem is that I don’t really know how to do this without it sounding like an ultimatium.
I knew that I wouldn’t get a Valentine’s Day proposal, but I still had hope for it, and comments from my co-workers and especially my parents about disappointment (“We thought it should have happened by now,” etc.) just validated my feelings and made it all too real.
I told him how what my parents said made me feel. He said he thought I would “hate it” if he proposed of V-Day because I thought it would be too cliche. I said that while I wasn’t really expecting it, I still felt horrible because of the disappointment for everyone else’s expections. Then, he got sad while saying that he saw that I changed the name the folder I had on his computer favorites of the rings I might want, and deleted all but 2 rings.
This is all driving me crazy. I can’t sleep, concentrate, or enjoy my time with him. If I am not engaged my birthday, which is exactly one month from today. I need to tell him that I want to be engaged by my birthday, I really think I will lose it in such a way that it will put too much stress on our relationship. I want to tell him I want to get engaged while I am my current age. But since this is such a quick timeline, I don’t want it to sound like an ultimatium or make him make a rash decision.
I have been seriously expecting a proposal for about 4 months and haven’t gotten one, but he said it would be in 2011. For those of you with experience with this – does giving him a timeline of one month sound like an ultimatium? How do I do this?? I NEED the waiting to end, I cannot take feeling inadequate anymore!!