Timing of pregnancy

posted 3 years ago in Babies
  • poll: when?
    Wait until you get a new job : (44 votes)
    81 %
    Try to find a job for a few more months, then TTC : (5 votes)
    9 %
    do it now : (3 votes)
    6 %
    other ( explain) : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    If he doesn’t make enough to support both of you, (or rather the 3 of you when you have a child). It’s not the right time. I would wait until you have a job and can save a little.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @RedRose1979:  My husband hsa high school degree and works full time,, but doesn’t make enough to full support both of us.

    He doesn’t make enough to support two of you so why would add in another mouth to feed?  You could have health issues during the pregnancy or the child may have health problems and those can really add up financially.  What if the baby is born prematurely and requires thousands in prenatal care?  Then they are special needs and you have to stay home and care for your child because nobody else will?

    Unless I was at the end of my pregnancy window (35 for me), I wouldn’t TTC with so many potential negatives.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6510 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Not to sound harsh, but how will you guys support yourselves if your husband’s job doesn’t even support the two of you? I’m a strong believer that you shouldn’t purposely bring a child into the world if you can’t support it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I don’t think you should have a child if your husband can’t support you both. It’ll be much harder to look for a job while you’re visibly pregnant, and what will you do when the unemployment runs out if you don’t find something once you’ve had the baby?

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @RedRose1979:  It’s very true that many families survive on one income but do you want to survive from paycheck to paycheck or enjoy spoiling your child with family trips and allowing them to play the instrument or sport they are interested in?  At the end of the day, you and your husband know best what budget you can survive off of but I’m a planner and I would forgo having children if it meant that I would be bringing a child into the world to live paycheck to paycheck.  But that’s just my personal opinion which you asked for.

    Post # 11
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    In addition to what previous posters said, when your unemployment is out and you do go back to work, childcare can run you $400+ a month (in my area, it is more like $1,000 for an infant). So that’s another thing to consider.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6510 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @RedRose1979:  I’m not sure what you mean by that question. We’re all telling you to find a job first so I’m not sure why you’re pointing out that many moms work.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    In our area, daycare can cost $40,000 a year. Friends of ours weighed their options and realized that the wife’s entire salary would go towards paying for daycare, so they elected to have her be a stay-at-home mom. If you’re struggling for money and are having a hard time finding a job, I wouldn’t recommend adding a baby into that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    @RedRose1979:  I’m saying you SHOULD work, or work long enough before to save.

    Babies and kids are so expensive, daycare is CRAZY expensive. I just don’t see how getting pregnant when your husband can’t support you and you have no job is the perfect time ya know? finding a job while pregnant is hard and stressful. I think it would make it so much nicer for you if you had a job, put some money in savings and could take a maternity leave.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1654 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @RedRose1979:  I think it would be really irresponsible to purposefully bring a child into the world with your current situation.  I think you should wait until you have a steady job (and have had it for a little while) before even considering TTC.  As for your comment about being a working mom, yes you can be a working mom… Would your husband stay home with the child and you be the bread winner?  Would you pay for child care?  Because that is really expensive.  You working full time being the bread winner could work, yes.  But financially unless you have a sizeable savings, you would need to not take time off for maternity leave (most places IF they offer maternity leave, offer UNPAID leave), which is pretty impossible, you need time to heal after giving birth… and what if you have a problematic prengancy and need to be on bed rest, or have a c-section or any complications you wouldn’t be able to work for at least 6 weeks… Do you have insurance?  Did getting laid off change your insurance? If you have insurance, does it cover Maternity care?  Most don’t yet (they will be required to in 2014).  These are all important things to consider…

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