Timing of sending invitations vs. guest list capacity

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We are having 350 guests with many OOT and several from different countries. I sent save the dates 9 months in advance. We are also having an A & B list. We’re sending invites about 10-12 weeks in advance with an RSVP date four weeks before the wedding. I wouldn’t send invites much sooner than 3 months in advance. 

Post # 4
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We also have venue limitiations and I have been upfront and clear with those that are on our B-list and ask. I just say “we are limited to 100 and are families are taking up the majority of those invitations – we are hopeful we may get some declines so we can include our friends like you that we so badly want to include.” So far I have had to use this about 5 times and it was always well received. I get that it might not work for many. I was on 2 b-lists last summer and it was obvious – but the 2nd one stated it similar to what I said (it was after the fact) and I felt super wanted at the wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Mode:  Invite the number of people your venue allows and mail your invitations 6-8 weeks in advance. It is rude to have a B-list.

It is presumptuous to ask people to RSVP two months in advance. Many people will not know their schedules that early.

Post # 7
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Mode:  B-listing is rude because it says to your guests that you didn’t really want them there, you just wanted them to fill seats. Your guests will find out and they will be hurt. They know that if you really wanted them there, you would just invite them.

This is why you make the guest list first, then figure out what you can afford to serve your guests, then choose a venue. Why didn’t you just choose a venue that would allow you to host everyone you want to invite? 

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