- 3 years ago
I could use some feedback on my timing for sending invitations. FI and I are getting married August 2nd in NYC. While this is not a destination wedding per se (we live in NYC), we will have some family members and friends traveling from Pennsylvania (2-3 hour drive away), the West Coast, Europe, and the West Indies. We sent out our save-the-dates and accommodation details at the end of January, and communicated details of the wedding with family, close friends, and out-of-towners, which can also be found on our website included on our save-the-dates. I’ve read online pretty consistently that invites should be sent 6-8 weeks ahead of the wedding date (on the longer-end for non-destination weddings).
However, FI and I are considering sending the invitations 4 months ahead of the wedding (beginning of April) and asking for RSVPs 2 months later (end of May, which is 2 months before the wedding). We thought 2 months response time was appropriate in this situation to give people time to figure out traveling or scheduling details so early on, and it follows the rule that you give people half the time to provide a response relative to the date the invitation was received (invite sent 4 months out, so 2 months to respond).
We want to do this for several reasons, most of which are selfish. 🙂
– Our main reason is that the venue limits our guest capacity. Right now we are working with an A-list and B-list of guests. We are eager to know whom from the A-list will attend so that if there are sufficient declines, we can get invitations out to B-list guests early enough so that they don’t feel like or know that they are B-list.
– We are providing complimentary transportation to NYC and back the same day for the Pennsylvania guests, so we want them to know early that they don’t need to think about travel arrangements or parking to get to the wedding, etc. And it would be helpful for us to know the expected numbers for the bus early on to ensure we can accommodate everyone (or can downsize and save money!).
– We understand that sending out invitations this early is helpful for the overseas and cross country guests.
I guess my concern is that if we send the invitations out so early and give people 2 months to reply, we risk that people will forget about the invitation entirely and we’ll be chasing more RSVPs than usual. Or I’ve read online that some people will think it’s presumptuous to request a response so early on because people cannot figure out their schedules so far out (for us, I think this mostly applies to out-of-town guests that are not very close friends or family, and we have a handful of these).
I welcome your thoughts, ladies. And thanks in advance.