- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Okay, so I should clarify that we are eloping, but that this wasn’t always the plain. This might seem like Im getting worked up over nothing, but I don’t really like drama in any area of my life so this seems pretty big to me.
Okay, so call this friend Helen- helen and I are reasonably close, although it has always been a one sided relationship with me being ere for her a lot as she is generally quite a self involved person, but we get along well and I enjoy her company. my best friend – lets call her Rhea – and H and I make up quite a close knit threesome who have been friends since high school.
Initially, after plans for our traditional wedding fell through wherein both of these ladies were to be bridesmaids, my Fiance and I considered eloping to Gretna Green with these two girls, plus one of FI’s friends who is coincidentally heathers long term boyfriend.
okay, so we had all this locked in to go and my Fiance gets cold feet, feeling bad about eloping with friends but denying our families. I agreed and we rearranged the plans To elope jst the two of us. Part of the reason behind my agreeing to this had been due to heathers lack of interest in the wedding after the initial squee when we suggested and booked it. Essentially, every time I mentioned it and looked for dresses she would turn the attention to herself, look at long slinky dresses (she is a tiny uk size 6, I’m a 12-14 so she knew it made me feel awkward and inadequate that I had to keep saying that I’m essentially too fat to fit into her dresses), she then would just sigh at all of my choices and make catty comments. I hate to sound smug, but a friend has told me it is due to her being jealous that her boyfriend has not proposed to her. I think she has a wonderful boyfriend and have often told her that it will happen when it’s right, but she should be happy with her lot as I am not a person who understands jealousy. I think that this ill will has affected her ability to involve herself in the wedding, as she was not really happy for me.
So as you can imagine I felt relieved at cancelling the gretna plans, aside from some sadness that rhea while not be there as we originally planned. So I told them both on a night out and rhea awash so excited that we were having our wedding in Central Park NYC as she knows it has been a dream of ours and that we were settling for Gretna green. However, helen looked at me nonplussed and asked why on earth would I want to go to NYC, that she was really annoyed that I had done this because she wanted to be a bridesmaid, that it didn’t count as a wedding as nobody would be there. She went off in a huff and I texted her jokingly saying ‘since when has the bridesmaid been allowed to be bridezilla’ to no reply. This was a week ago and we haven’t spoken. Have I been really insensitive here? I just didn’t want to chance being around someone so negative on my special day, and rhea agreed with me on this. I feel awful and haven’t told my Fiance about her reaction because I don’t want him to dislike her, but I’m feeling really awkward. Rhea said I shouldn’t apologise but I feel like maybe I’ve done someone wrong though I’m not sure what, as I was sensitive when I explained our reasons. So sorry it’s long!