- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Probably of limited to interest except those crazy enough to read the FI and my’s debate over UK vs. US wedding but a small update…
1. Getting laid off for the first time ever after working 60+ hours for a decade is very weird. Oh yeah, that was me. Pretty suddenly too. Suddenly NOT working all weekend and being a coroprate road warrior drone…hmm, yes well that would be a whole new post
2. Moving up your wedding 6 months – I almost think every bride should do this. After 2 months of constant arguments, stress, tears and doubt, suddenly we’re putting everything together in <6 months. And remember why we love each other and SHOULD get married in the process (Tip: unless he’s paying, avoid over-involving the fiance; he isn’t a wedding planner and will nitpick many items and question many things rather than be truly helpful; maybe just my experience). It’s like our honeymoon all over again.
3. tiny Ceremony; BIG party. Here is my question to other Bees. FI and I, unable to inconvenience one side of the Pond to fly to the other, incorporate 2 cultures and STILL make it down the aisle as a couple are having our ceremony at my parent’s home in NC. No more Charleston, no attendants; JUST FAMILY. Of course my mother insists ‘immediate family only’ should include my cousins and aunts and uncles I haven’t seen in 15+ years and ignore my stepsiblings I grew up with as ‘they aren’t family’ but…that’s a whole other issue TBDWL (to be dealt with later).
a. Did anyone else have issues drawing the line for IMMEDIATE FAMILY ONLY (that’s still 14 people right there) or fighting the ‘you must invite…’ battle
b. How did folks pitch a big Saturday night reception (cake, band, dancing, heavy hors d’ourvres but not rigidly times) to out of towners?
We’re actually now having 2 receptions. 1 US style with my family’s peeps (and our dime) and 1 Brits style next summer as FI wanted it done (and on his parents / our dime again). That way can have all the people we want but have the ceremony still be just about us. Did i mention it’s Thanksgiving weekend? Any good enticements and non-offensive way to get people to make the trek but explain it’s not a 4 day circus of events?
c. Is it still ok to register for gifts and have a shower even if people would only be invited to the reception(s) and not ceremony (again, 14 people attending!)
d. Ok to wear 2 dresses? I’ve never been a huge fan of that (sorry to say this but I do find it a touch pretentious sometimes but I know that’s a TOTALLY judemental and personal opinion and not for everyone so no abuse please!) Wedding is 11AM at home and receptions are evening / black tie.
e. WHY OH FREAKING WHY do people 1. Think I’m pregnant (No) and 2. Keep insisting ‘I mean it’s your day but THAT’S what you want? I mean really? You always wanted it that way? Even had a few siblings complain that it won’t be a ‘fun party weekend’ because only the one big event (I offered to let them write a check for other events but so far no takers….) – how do you gently tell naysayers that while yes, maybe it’s not the IDEAL scenario it’s the one we’re happy with so please stop pointing out and questioning our decisions?
Keep in mind – we aren’t being cheap. We just literally could not get our two sets of families and friends together in the same room on the same day so went’ non-traditional and can now start our married lives 7 months sooner than before!
Anyone going through similar? Family drama? Angst? Move up? Home wedding then parties later? 2 dresses? Wearing wedding dress again at 2nd party?