Post # 1
Hi there, Bees!
A friend of ours is a bartender and has volunteered to take care of the bar for us on our wedding night. For FREE. So generous of him and a much needed break as we are paying for this wedding ourselves. The question is, is it tacky to give him a “tip jar”? I would really like him to go home with a little something and especially would like him to feel that we appreciate his help by putting the tip jar out for him. What do you think? Tacky? Or will people be okay with giving him a little tip? If we choose to do one, we will be sure to make it cute and not demanding like a little jar that just says “TIPS” lol.
Post # 3
Personally, I’ve never attended a wedding with a cash bar, only open bar. So I never bring cash. With this in mind, I wouldn’t have cash to tip him. My recommendation would be to give him a cash tip yourself like you would with any other vendor or another token of your appreciation.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I think a tip jar would be a great way to help him earn at least something– some people might not have cash, but that’s ok– a lot of people will, and if at the end of the night your new husband and you want to slip a bit of money in to “pad the jar” I’m sure your friend would appreceate that too.
Post # 5
I would just pay him….i know I don’t carry cash to weddings….except for what’s in the card for the couple for a gift…
Post # 6
A lot of people don’t carry cash unless they know they will need it. I would probably just write him a check for $100 since he was so nice and offered to do it for free. It helps you avoid awkwardness from those who thinks it’s tacky and it shows how much you appreciate him!
Post # 7
As a former bartender, I’m begging you to pleeeeaaase let your friend have a tip jar. Forget about people possibly thinking it’s tacky, your friend is doing a job and deserves compensation. It’s not a fun job if you take away all the incentive. I really doubt any bartender would volunteer to do it without expecting to make up for the lack of pay with tips.
Post # 8
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Every wedding i’ve ever been to has had an open bar, and almost everyone still tips the bartenders.
Post # 9
@AmyFarrahFowler: Really? That’s interesting. We had an open bar but I don’t know if anyone was tipping the bartender. I’m inclined to believe that the majority, if not all, of my guests did not. That’s why we included a cash tip to the caterer to cover all the servers AND the bartender.
Post # 10
I always tip bartenders whether it’s cash or open bar – whether there is a “tip jar” or not! I don’t think you neeed a jar that says TIPS – just put a glass on top of the bar and stick a few dollars in it – people will get the point. Even though he offered to do it for free, I’d definitely give him some money or a really nice gift after the fact.
Post # 11
I always see tip jars at weddings. The wedding we went to in April had an open bar and the tip jars were stuffed.
FI says that’s how you get the best drinks – tipping the bartender well
Post # 12
@MrsWBS: Also seconded, I always tip every time I go up to any bar. If some people don’t have cash, no biggie, but others will.
Post # 13
FI always gives the bartender a big tip during cocktail hour, then he never needs to wait for drinks throughout the night!
Post # 14
I always tip out a bartender – even if it is open bar – generally at the beginning of the night, so the drinks keep coming!
I have been to weddings where i’ve seen tip cups, but for the most part, it’s really discreet and will happen anyway – so let your friend do it. Also, if people are upset about it, they don’t have to choose to tip (for their free drinks).
Post # 15
It doesnt matter if people carry cash or not those who do will tip him.
I think you should definitely let him have a tip jar if hes doing this for free otherwise you should pay him at least $100 for his time even if he says he doesnt want your $$.
I dont see why people think its rude to have a tip jar… Is it because theyre cheap, wont tip and want to save face?
If you dont want to tip, dont. Tips are optional not mandatory.
I ALWAYS carry cash to weddings so I will be prepared to tip in the event that there is a tip jar and thats the only reason I bring $$ with me.
Post # 16
I think you should absolutely tip him, but YOU should provide the ‘tip’ – not your guests.
That’s assuming this is an open bar.
If it’s a cash bar, then I don’t see a problem with a tip jar.