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Tip the priest?

posted 1 year ago in Catholic
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Do we tip our priest?
    Yes : (27 votes)
    57 %
    Not necessary : (20 votes)
    43 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms. Figales    October 15, 2010   Los Angeles

    Are we supposed to tip our priest?  I've read that you're supposed to tip the officiant, but is that also for Catholic weddings?  Just want to know so we can include it in our budget or not.

     
    2.
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    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    jenbrandner    Aug 7, 2010   Wisconsin

    You should never tip your priest.  Catholic priests are sworn into a life of poverty.  Some acceptable options would be to make a special donation to the church or to invite your priest to your rehearsal dinner and/or reception.

     
    3.
    Hostess
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    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    You tip the priest via donation to the church. 

     
    4.
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    1,071 posts
    Bumble bee
    jedeve    August 14, 2010   Montana

    Do you mean in addition to paying them? Our priest and deacon are both family friends so I think its a little awkward to "pay" them (I think it would be less weird to give them a gift certificate or something, I mean, they would've been guests at the wedding anyway) but my mom insists on paying. Our priest is retired though so he will definitely be paid. And I'm sure we will pay the deacon too, because moms always win!

    Just ask the church secretary what most people do.

     
    5.
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    445 posts
    Helper bee
    sgarrison2    August 14, 2010   Nashville, TN

    We'll be giving our deacon a $200 honorarium. And we invited the deacon and his wife to our reception.

     
    6.
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    435 posts
    Helper bee
    Miss BooBoo    November 5, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA, DW in Punta Cuna

    As said, you "tip" the priest as a donation to the church.

     
    7.
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    2,851 posts
    Sugar bee
    troubled      

    We gave a donation directly to him for him to decide how it should be donated to the church.  I think he put in into a fund for the care of retired priests.  We also gave him a photo of this neat picture of him over us with our heads bowed, he has pictures all over of everyone he's married and their kids so we wanted to be on his wall.  And we still want to give him a personal gift but haven't figured out what exactly and probably won't until our first anniversary. 

     
    8.
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms. Figales    October 15, 2010   Los Angeles

    Well, Catholic churches normally ask for a set "donation" already; if you can't afford it, i've heard they work with you, but it probably helps if you're parishioners, which we're not; we wanted to get married close to our reception site so our guests wouldn't have to drive far from one to the other.  Catholic brides, are we supposed to add a donation to the donation? 

     
    9.
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    lauren810c    August 21, 2010   NYC

    It is costing me $2K to get married at our church..I'm supposed to give another "donation" on top of this??

     
    10.
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    1,705 posts
    Bumble bee
    cvbee    August 13, 2010   canada

    I'm planning on just paying the $250 fee. 

     
    11.
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    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    pinkdreamer    July 10, 2010  

    I read that you are NOT supposed to tip the priest but you can tip a judge if he is performing ceremony for his service. Instead consider an offering or donation to the church. If you are paying 2K then I would think you are quite covered, and a thank you would be sufficient.

    I'm not tipping mine, but we flew our pastor and his wife out and are paying for their lodging so they can marry us in my old hometown where the wedding is. I am going to get them a thank you engraved frame I think.

     
    12.
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    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    delight    July 2, 2011   Ontario

    @lauren810c: Why do you have to pay 2K to get married at a church? I've never heard of such a thing!

    We are not required to pay the priest, but were asked to make a $200 donation to the church. They also want us to leave our flowers at the church after our ceremony so the congregation can enjoy them for their Sunday service. Has anyone had to do this? I'd like to take my flowers to help decorate the reception!

     
    13.
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    200 posts
    Helper bee
    catholicbride    June 12, 2010   Indiana

    I think our church is a little disorganized.  We were never asked to pay to use the church or make any donations.  We do plan on making one, but I thought it was odd that nobody ever said anything.  We were told how much to pay the organist and cantor though.  Our priest came to our rehearsal dinner and our reception so I consider his free meals to be "tip" enough.  I had issues with him up until the day of our wedding and still do, so that's as gracious as I feel right now.

    Nobody ever told me what I could and could not do in regards to the church, so we took our flowers and reused them at the reception.  We only left our flowers for Mary.  The priest did mention at the rehearsal that I could use the flowers that were in front of the alter if they still looked nice, but I had my MOH hide them in the sacristy because they didn't match my color scheme at all and I didn't think they were that pretty.

     
    14.
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    KES    October 2, 2010   Texas

    I plan on giving the priest a tip on top of a donation to the church. Priests do make a small salary but I will leave it up to him to decide what to do with the money. 

     
    15.
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    CoffeeHound    January 1, 1991  

    You generally do give the priest an honorarium (usually $100-$250).  A priest will sometimes donate this money to the church, someone they will use it to buy things he needs (like shoes), and sometimes use it for personal projects.  One priest I know would take that money and buy a bunch of Bibles to hand out to the poor. 

     
    16.
    8 posts
    Newbee
    LisaD78    September 27, 2012  

    2K?  Seriously!  What church is that!?!?  Ours is $500 and they ask you to give a donation to the church on top of that if you can.  The poverty thing depends on the order. Diocesan priests do not make a vow of poverty, but many priests who belong to certain orders do.  Diocesan priests live simply, but can inherit and have their own posessions.  My priest is Franciscan, so we will make a donation to the church rather than "tip" him.

     
    17.
    8 posts
    Newbee
    LisaD78    September 27, 2012  

    @delight:My church requires you to leave your flowers, actually.

     
    18.
    Member
    1,705 posts
    Bumble bee
    cvbee    August 13, 2010   canada

    I ended up paying $300 instead of $250 for the church fee and considered that a 'tip' in my opinion. 

     
    19.
    Member
    1,705 posts
    Bumble bee
    cvbee    August 13, 2010   canada

    and we are taking him out for dinner this Friday night (more than a month after the ceremony)

     
    20.
    Hostess
    6,162 posts
    Bee Keeper
    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    we were told (from the church) a stipend of $100 (min) for the priest.

    Since we arent using a priest at my parish i dont think we have to pay that?

    My FH's Uncle is a Catholic Priest and he will be marrying us, we are paying for his flight and hotel.

     
    21.
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    16 posts
    Newbee
    vidota    May 28, 2011   Chicago

    At our Church, we make a donation to use the Church ($1000), and it's expected to also provide a stipend to the priest offiiciating. The paper work says that a $200 stipend is customary, but the amount is up to you ultimately.

     
    22.
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    felisa17    July 2, 2011  

    my family usually gives $50-$100 to the priest directly for weddings, funerals, etc...

     
    23.
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    478 posts
    Helper bee
    Megrit    November 12, 2011   Detroit, MI

     In our wedding packet we received a seperate envelope for the officiant. Our priest brushed past it when he was going through stuff with us, perhaps because he is the one marrying us, but I'm pretty sure he's allowed to take a tip. This was an Archdiocese approved booklet.

     
    24.
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    3,108 posts
    Sugar bee
    MrsPinkPeony    June 4, 2011   Charleston, SC

    It was suggested in the wedding packet we received to give the priest at least $100.00 and that if we write a check to write it directly to him... A deacon was $75.00.

     

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