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You should never tip your priest. Catholic priests are sworn into a life of poverty. Some acceptable options would be to make a special donation to the church or to invite your priest to your rehearsal dinner and/or reception.
Do you mean in addition to paying them? Our priest and deacon are both family friends so I think its a little awkward to "pay" them (I think it would be less weird to give them a gift certificate or something, I mean, they would've been guests at the wedding anyway) but my mom insists on paying. Our priest is retired though so he will definitely be paid. And I'm sure we will pay the deacon too, because moms always win!
Just ask the church secretary what most people do.
We'll be giving our deacon a $200 honorarium. And we invited the deacon and his wife to our reception.
As said, you "tip" the priest as a donation to the church.
We gave a donation directly to him for him to decide how it should be donated to the church. I think he put in into a fund for the care of retired priests. We also gave him a photo of this neat picture of him over us with our heads bowed, he has pictures all over of everyone he's married and their kids so we wanted to be on his wall. And we still want to give him a personal gift but haven't figured out what exactly and probably won't until our first anniversary.
Well, Catholic churches normally ask for a set "donation" already; if you can't afford it, i've heard they work with you, but it probably helps if you're parishioners, which we're not; we wanted to get married close to our reception site so our guests wouldn't have to drive far from one to the other. Catholic brides, are we supposed to add a donation to the donation?
It is costing me $2K to get married at our church..I'm supposed to give another "donation" on top of this??
I read that you are NOT supposed to tip the priest but you can tip a judge if he is performing ceremony for his service. Instead consider an offering or donation to the church. If you are paying 2K then I would think you are quite covered, and a thank you would be sufficient.
I'm not tipping mine, but we flew our pastor and his wife out and are paying for their lodging so they can marry us in my old hometown where the wedding is. I am going to get them a thank you engraved frame I think.
@lauren810c: Why do you have to pay 2K to get married at a church? I've never heard of such a thing!
We are not required to pay the priest, but were asked to make a $200 donation to the church. They also want us to leave our flowers at the church after our ceremony so the congregation can enjoy them for their Sunday service. Has anyone had to do this? I'd like to take my flowers to help decorate the reception!
I think our church is a little disorganized. We were never asked to pay to use the church or make any donations. We do plan on making one, but I thought it was odd that nobody ever said anything. We were told how much to pay the organist and cantor though. Our priest came to our rehearsal dinner and our reception so I consider his free meals to be "tip" enough. I had issues with him up until the day of our wedding and still do, so that's as gracious as I feel right now.
Nobody ever told me what I could and could not do in regards to the church, so we took our flowers and reused them at the reception. We only left our flowers for Mary. The priest did mention at the rehearsal that I could use the flowers that were in front of the alter if they still looked nice, but I had my MOH hide them in the sacristy because they didn't match my color scheme at all and I didn't think they were that pretty.
I plan on giving the priest a tip on top of a donation to the church. Priests do make a small salary but I will leave it up to him to decide what to do with the money.
You generally do give the priest an honorarium (usually $100-$250). A priest will sometimes donate this money to the church, someone they will use it to buy things he needs (like shoes), and sometimes use it for personal projects. One priest I know would take that money and buy a bunch of Bibles to hand out to the poor.
2K? Seriously! What church is that!?!? Ours is $500 and they ask you to give a donation to the church on top of that if you can. The poverty thing depends on the order. Diocesan priests do not make a vow of poverty, but many priests who belong to certain orders do. Diocesan priests live simply, but can inherit and have their own posessions. My priest is Franciscan, so we will make a donation to the church rather than "tip" him.
I ended up paying $300 instead of $250 for the church fee and considered that a 'tip' in my opinion.
and we are taking him out for dinner this Friday night (more than a month after the ceremony)
we were told (from the church) a stipend of $100 (min) for the priest.
Since we arent using a priest at my parish i dont think we have to pay that?
My FH's Uncle is a Catholic Priest and he will be marrying us, we are paying for his flight and hotel.
At our Church, we make a donation to use the Church ($1000), and it's expected to also provide a stipend to the priest offiiciating. The paper work says that a $200 stipend is customary, but the amount is up to you ultimately.
my family usually gives $50-$100 to the priest directly for weddings, funerals, etc...
In our wedding packet we received a seperate envelope for the officiant. Our priest brushed past it when he was going through stuff with us, perhaps because he is the one marrying us, but I'm pretty sure he's allowed to take a tip. This was an Archdiocese approved booklet.
It was suggested in the wedding packet we received to give the priest at least $100.00 and that if we write a check to write it directly to him... A deacon was $75.00.
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Are we supposed to tip our priest? I've read that you're supposed to tip the officiant, but is that also for Catholic weddings? Just want to know so we can include it in our budget or not.