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anyone else feel like tipping is getting a little ridiculous?? this is not just wedding related, it is life in general. I feel like everyone expects to be tipped for doing their job that they get paid for in the first place. On our catering information packet they said that tipping is generally around 18-20%! I was floored! Especially since we are paying about 45$/ person and we're having a buffet! anyone else thinking about tipping pretty minimally because they feel like the wedding business is completely inflated?
Yeah, I feel really bad about it but we don't have a lot of money and everyone in the wedding business is already making a killing :p It's not like I'll be working with tem again, so I don't care if they think I'm a "bad tipper"
I feel like tipping 20% for wedding services is a bit ridiculous, since everything is so inflated already. But I think 10-15% is about right. I do wait tables, however, and feel that tipping 15-20% at restaurants is not as ridiculous bc servers only make $2.13/hour and food is normally priced. But I'm pretty sure that most catering companies pay at least minimum wage to their servers, if not more. But I guess it depends on the company. Our restaurant caters some small weddings and the servers still only earn $2.13/hour. Which is completely wrong in my opinion because the company is making so much, they should pay us employees better.
We need to end this whole system of tipping (not that I hold my breath that it will ever happen).
Employers shouold pay their employees a decent living wage, even if that means raising prices.
Then we could tip for extra-ordinary service, not just for someone doing their job.
i totally agree with you! I do not understand why so many people expect tips for jobs they are already paid to do :( I rather tip only if the person does an amazing job.
In the country my fiancee is from no one tips for anything! Even at high class resurants its amazing to get a 10.00 tip but here everyone holds their hand out.
I feel that way a little bit to when it comes to our ceremony venue. Our wedding is really low key, no frills type..but we're supposed to tip on top of the $500 we paid for one hour venue rental.
Wow I'm so glad I live in a tip-free society (generally speaking- it's never compulsory but I do for good waiters etc). Tipping for your vendors that you are already paying a fortune for PAH! Let them think you're a bad tipper!
Nope. Those people work hard for you, they deserve a great tip. If you can't afford to tip well you have no business spending money on food service in the first place.
To the people saying employers should just pay a living wage to servers. Do you have any idea how much food prices would go up if they did that?
I totally don't mind tipping for SERVICE, but the other day I went to the pizza place to pick up my pizza I had ordered online and there was a tip line on the receipt. I did the work! I came to you! You get no tip! Like I am not tipping someone for ringing me up on a cash register, they already get paid for that.
@KatyElle: I agree.
More often than not, it's not the servers of the wedding industry who are making the killing off of what you're spending. The only thing they see is the gratuity that you add onto your bill. They're the ones busting their butts to make sure your wedding is as perfect as you want it to be and deserve a tip in my opinion.
I know there's always a debate between people who were once or are in the service business vs. those who never were. I'm one of those who has never been in the service business, but believe that a good tip goes a very long way.
Just want to throw in that my friend waits tables at night as a side job and the other night, a Canadian horse jockey came to her restaurant (Saratoga, NY) and ordered 3 bottles of Cristal with his meal. Her restaurant charges $360 for a bottle of it. His total bill was $1600; she made $500 that night in tips alone. IN A NIGHT. I was so jealy. That's how you tip!
@2PeasinaPod: Exactly. The servers aren't seeing all the money that was spent on the catering. They aren't there for fun or their health, they rely on those tips as their pay. When people do the "let them think you're a bad tipper" thing and don't leave a good tip (or anything), that's like saying you think it's ok for them to get dressed, spend gas money getting to work, ensuring all your guests are well taken care of and not get paid for it. Not cool.
@fvsoccer:Unfotunately a lot of tipped workers are tipped against minimum wage, so they hardly make minimum. (They make $2 and hour, or so, depending on the state, then the tips make up the difference.) You want them happy and working hard at your wedding.
18-20% is perfect for managing a large party.
@ohheavenlyday: LOL I do not tip for carry out unless they do something special, and I used to put together carryout. I usually got no tip, sometimes got 5%--which was good for carry out.
I LOVE giving a "fat tip" to wait staff. It makes me excedingly happy to imagine them opening the folio after I've left. That's probably because my fiance waited tables when he was younger and told me about the stuff people in the restaurant industry go through.
Now, for my photog, I'm going to buy her a gift instead of giving her more money. She's getting almost $5K already!
no i will personally tip the wait staff, but many of my vendors are suggesting that I tip them. i'm not complaining about that. it is just the idea of tipping the company for contribution is ridiculous! they are already making $4000 for 5 hours for things that, if i was half insane, i could have people I know personally do it for half the price for just the same quality.
Yeah.. I love that my venue included a 20% tip for the servers, state tax and an additional "service fee" to tip the office workers... nice... I love the rule- that if the vendor owns the company (hairdresser, makeup, photog, etc), you dont tip them.. only if they are an employee do you tip- because owners make 100% of the profit, whereas empolyees do not.
@Eliann: Not to threadjack, but is $2.13/hour minimum wage for you guys? I was about to comment similar to what you had said about servers making low wages, but then I seen what you had wrote and was a little surprised.
I agree with many of the PPs that tipping for a catering service should be about %15. That being said I am a firm believer that servers should be tipped according to the service they are giving you. I get that people have bad days or life happens so I generally tip about 15% unless someone treats me terrible. Many servers ake minimum wage, so their tips are their life. If a server is happy, conversational, and on the ball then I am more than happy to tip 20% or more.
In the proposal our caterers gave us they detailed the server rate for our reception...$29/hr. There is no way I will tip on top of that. (my fiance will probably disagree.) Maybe they don't get it all, but if they get 50% that's still a good wage. And we're having a buffet- our servers are gonna be sitting on their butts for most of the night.
What I wanna know is "who" decided "who" deserves tips?
Do you tip your Doctor, Dentist, RMT, Physiotherapist (I could go on...)? All those people work hard, have laboured through school to get to where they are, and they don't get tips.
If you choose to be a server (or work in an industry where tipping is the "norm"), do it because you love working with people and in the food service industry, not just because you 'know' you're going to make tips. Not all countries tip, yet the non tipping countries still have people that would ordinarily get tips, working their asses off to serve you, and cater to your needs.
Another rant I have is tip allocation. Just because you tip someone for doing an amazing job, they aren't always the person that gets to keep the money. Some places pool tips, and divide it amoung front and back end staff, some places will pool tips and use it towards 'dine and dash' patrons. The restaurant industry is very finneky, which sucks, but is an unfortunate reality. Yes restaurant staff work hard, but so do other people...
What really grinds my gears (Family Guy anyone?!?! hehe) is when automatic gratuity is added...really? So basically, I am tipping you regardless or not if you suck, or are super amazing at your job? Awesome :thumbsdown:
For the record...yes, I have worked in tipping and non tipping countries in industries that would/could be tipped on. I don't care either way, and I certainly would not rely on tips to make it through life.
The problem is less with people who don't care about being "a bad tipper", than with societies that tolerate a below-living-wage minimum. Societies that tolerate *exempting* table-service employees from the protection of minimum wage laws exacerbate the problem. And, if a caterer has the depraved business ethic that allows them to exploit their staff in such a way, what assurance does a hostess have that the "tip" she gives will actually be divided fairly among the servers themselves and not find its way in whole or in part into the caterer's pocket?
A better solution might be to find out exactly what hourly rate the caterer does pay, and refuse to hire any that pay below a living wage. That plan will probably result in the contract NOT going to the lowest bidder -- but if the tip was what was going to make the difference, then that (and similar ethical business practices) is probably the difference in bid price -- and quite frankly, worth the difference in bid price.
And to continue the fight against abusive employment practices, once you are ensured that the people working your reception can and do expect a living wage, do NOT destabilize that just situation by returning to the patronizing practice of tipping. A fair wage should not be a "gift".
I'm so sick of the "Wahhh, but doctors and lawyers don't expect tips!" Yeah, they don't make $2.13 an hour!
If you want to go out to eat and not pay $25 for a burger, expect to have to tip. If you'd prefer your servers make $12 an hour, be prepared to pony up a LOT more money for your food.
If you're against tipping, stay your ass home or hit the drive-thru. Don't make your servers work for free. It's all well and good to say "I would never rely on tips to make it through life" if you've never been in a situation where you have to. Do you know how many ex realtors, teachers and construction workers I used to bartend with? Some people aren't above doing what they have to do to pay the bills. I respect them a hell of a lot more than someone who wants to eat out and whines about an extra 5 bucks.
@KatyElle: Just because a person says they would prefer a situation where we tip for service above and beyond the server just doing their job, doesn't mean we don't tip, or don't tip wel
And yes, I would rather pay $25 for a burger and know that my server was getting a living wage, rather than know that the same server is depending on the largesse of their customers. Too many employers are making tremendous profits by paying servers minimum wage.
I think 18% is perfectly normal. Now, if I received horrendous service and they automatically charged my card for gratuity, then I would be super pissed. The only people I take issue with expecting tips are the workers at Starbucks and people who give me my carry-out orders (except for those applebees carside workers who actually have to come out to the car)
@Eliann:
Did I miss something? Federal and Texas minimum wage is $7.25/hour. How in the world are servers making $2.13/hour?
@KatyElle: I sense a bit of sarcasm there. I am a very strong union activist and I totally believe in everyone making a living wage.
Generally speaking, I only tip if the service was good or beyond my expectations.
Wedding related, I think its ridiculous that they even suggest something. Its a tip, it should be optional.
And as a previous server at St. Regis Hotel, trust me even the people WITH money always dont tip or generously tip. So its a person by person basis.
@KatyElle: I ditto everything you just said /used to bartend and had the same experience
Wow - this thread BLOWS MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!! In major U.S. cities, tipping at a restaurant is 18-20%. I don't think I could get a table in L.A. if I tipped less. Amazing responses posted here. It would be great if all the bees could post where they are living and how often they dine out/drink.
With tipping I think it really depends on how well the company delivered. Did they do their best? Did the waiters cover the basics and make sure they did everything possible to see to it the guests at the wedding are serviced? If they did, then hey, tip them fairly. I'll be honest, if I feel like what should be done, isn't being done and something is said and still nothing changes then they can kiss any chance of a fair tip goodbye.
Edit - just an example, and maybe I just got very unlucky, but I went to this place and the waitress came by once to take orders, got our drinks and our food and never returned. We had to wave down someone else forty minutes later to give us the bill. Call me mean but I wrote, "here's your tip, give heads up to another waitress to cover your table, and tell the patrons who tip $6 easily". I hate that. I really do. If I wanted to have crap service I'd fix myself food on a night of celebration XD...
I always get a little confused about tipping at the salon. How much do you all tip?
@JoJo Bananas: Michigan. When I waited tables in Detroit my base wage was 2.15. Hostesses/Hosts also somehow only made 5.50/hour even though they did not recieve tips. I'm not sure how the restaurant I worked at got away with this- I think they claimed waitstaff tipped the host which was not true.
Servers//Bartenders here get below the minimum wage ..and essentially only work for TIPS (not because they LOOOOVE the food & bev industry) - when I am out I tip at least 18/20 % and that is if the service is average - I tip more if it was great service (especially since I can relate)
when I worked in a restaurant/lounge, I had to tip out the kitchen staff at the end of my night a percentage of my total sales. If I had customers who came in and didn't tip, I was essentially paying the kitchen out of my own pocket. So ya, it sucks when ppl come in and think, well tipping isn't "required" so I'm not going to do it. Thanks asshole, now I have to pay for you to eat here!!!
The OP said she was talking about tipping the company versus tipping the waitstaff personally. I agree with her. My venue charges a "service charge" and the waitstaff tip is included in that. I will personally tip the waitstaff extra if I feel that they deserve it. However, I do not want to tip the company even more and hope that the extra tip trickles down to the waitstaff. I will also personally tip my coordinator contact at the venue, my DOC and my officiant.
My hairdresser/ make up artist said 15-20% is the common tip.
Side note: Servers do not make less than minimum wage in all states. In California, servers must be paid minimum wage (which is somewhere around $8/hr I think?) in addition to tips and it is not that much more expensive to eat out. Also, I'm almost positive that with my venue, the waitstaff makes more than minimum wage.
@JenniMichele: funny, I got something completely different from the OP's post. I thought she was upset about tipping 18-20% for a catered event. I didn't see anything about the company vs. the staff. I made sure with both of our wedding events that staff split the tip equally and it didn't go to the company.
I have always been an over-generous tipper. Even if the service isn't great they get a good tip. The night of my wedding I literally walked around to all of the wait staff and gave them cash- from my hand to theirs. That was in addition to the tacked on gratuity. I knew they wouldn't see that money.
@sfchick: I don't know if you saw her follow up post but it is here: fvsoccer. However, maybe I am the one who misunderstood what she was saying.
@sfchick: I don't know if you saw her follow up post but it is here: fvsoccer. However, maybe I am the one who misunderstood what she was saying.
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