As per the Post Institute of Etiquette… and their book “Wedding Etiquette” here is the suggested list…
Fees for Ceremony things are not tips. But they should be delivered in the same way that you would for tips… so sealed envelope, addressed to each person, and with a personal Thank You Note included. So… Officiant, Organist, Soloist, etc
TIPS (Regular Service)
* Hair Dresser & Make Up Person
* Valet Parking Attendants
* Coat Check
* Powder Room Attendants
* Delivery Truck Drivers
* Wait Staff
* Table Captains
Parking Lot Attendants, Coat Check & Powder Room personnel should be tipped AHEAD of time so that one’s Guests have no obligation to do so. And in doing so, someone needs to make a follow-up check to see that there are NO tip jars, baskets etc. out sitting so that your Guests feel obligated.
For Limousine Drivers and Chauffeurs you can request that the tip amount be included on the Invoice.
Same with Wait Staff, Bartenders etc. IF however, your Bar is running a tab and you will have to pay up at the end of the night, then you should come prepared to do so (again, sealed envelopes is best)
TIPS (Exceptional Service)
Wedding Professionals such as Bridal Consultants, The Manager, Cake Baker, Caterer, Photographers, Videographers & Florists etc. are ONLY TIPPED IF they provided extra-special service. Their fee is their payment.
NOTE – Be sure and check all Contracts & Invoices… because in some cases the tips will be written in (ie. No need to Tip your Wait Staff… IF their tip is written into the Catering Contract)
Hope this helps,
PS… Thank You Notes are a nice touch for your Vendors… especially any that went above and beyond for you. Be sure and include them when you do your Post Wedding mail-out.
PPS… Heading off on your Honeymoon right from the Reception? Remember to think about the tips you’ll need to have on hand potentially right away if using a Hotel … Cab Driver or Valet Parking Attendant, Bell Boy, Room Service Person… etc.