Post # 16
julies1949 : You said you think it implies that the host expects the guests to ensure that the bartender is properly reimbursed. I think it implies that the bartender accepts tips for excellent service even if he or she is already properly reimbursed. There’s no reason to read into it more than that. A tip jar never implies that people are expected to tip. It signals that the person accepts tips. I hardly think a tip jar is comparable to a cash bar.
ETA: I’m being argumentative. I know you’re right that traditional etiquette would frown upon a tip jar. I just find that to be generally silly, and it’s something that I hope we can leave in the dust in the future. I feel like most people would understand it’s an optional “thank you” as opposed to the somewhat mandatory nature of tips in other settings in the US. You’re still right that it runs afoul of traditional etiquette. I can’t really deny that.
Post # 17
texasgal747 : a service fee isn’t necessarily a gratuity so you probably will want to tip your bartenders unless the company explicitly already said it was included (which I’m assuming it’s not if they want to put out a tip jar). I explicitly told my caterer that the bartenders were not to have a tip jar out and that if someone DID insist on tipping them (after a polite refusal) that they were to remove the cash from the bar immediately. I’ve been to weddings where the bartender isn’t busy but they leave dollar bills strewn about as a hint they want a tip. I said “I am in charge of tipping, not my guests, and I will!” Then she told me that they have a policy that doesn’t even allow me to tip because it’s included so it was all moot, but asking your guests for tips is tacky tacky tacky.
Post # 18
texasgal747 : my venue handles the catering/bar and they specifically say in the contract that tips are not accepted. They also charge a 20% service charge
Post # 19
- Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal
julies1949 : I completely agree. I hate tip jars at weddings with an open bar. When people attend a wedding with a hosted bar, they likely don’t think to bring cash. There’s nothing more awkward then ordering a drink that is covered and having a tip jar staring you in the face. Then you’re the ass that didnt tip on a free drink.
Post # 20
beckybee787 : I personally think tipping in general is silly so I would hope that it would not become the norm to have tip jars out. People should be properly paid for their services and not have to rely on customers to top off their wages. But that’s off topic.
OP, find out what the service fee includes and go from there. If gratuity is not included, you can add whatever you feel is appropriate. Ask them specifically if gratuity is included in that cost.