Post # 1
I’m unsure about who I need to tip? I’m having the usual- Dj, Mariachi group, photo/video man, priest, maybe a singer at the ceremony. Do I tip them all? What about the wait staff & bartender at the venue?
I was talking to one of my co-worker and and she was surprised that Fiance & I even have to tip them becasue to her they are “just doing their job” and getting paid well for it. She used me as an example. I do my job as a business manger but don’t get tipped for doing a good job. But that’s totally different right?
Ok my second question is who are you feeding? Do you have too? Do you feed the musicians? DJ? Priest? If so, I really need to start planning for that extra cost. I mean the Mariachi group is like 5-7 people and they only performing for 2 hours and the singer & priest will be at the ceremony for 30min only. The DJ I can understand because he will be playing for 6-7 hours the phot guy, too. Plus, the food is not cheap, dinner per guest is about 85-90 a guest. I heard that some venues do vendor meals at a cheaper price.
Please help. I’m confused!
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Haha, I like…”the usual” including a mariachi band – that’s awesome!
I am not sure on this, but I would definitely inquire about vendor meal prices, ours are signifigantly (like 50%) less than the regular meal
I think you do need to tip everyone though – that’s just what I have heard! For the priest, as long as you are already paying an honorarium, you could potentially make a donation to the church, or something like that.
I’m interested to hear what others have to say about this too!
Post # 4
Priest – don’t tip; usually he would be invited to the reception, and if he RSVPs yes, you would obviously feed him
Singer – don’t tip or feed
Mariachi – if the contract doesn’t mention feeding them, don’t, but do tip
DJ, photo, video – Tip and feed
Post # 5
For tipping, the general guideline I’ve heard for weddings is to tip anyone who isn’t the owner of his/her business. So if you hired Joe Smith DJ, and Joe Smith is your DJ, you don’t need to tip him. But if you hired Joe Smith DJ Company, and Bob Jones is your DJ, you should tip him. Check your venue/caterer contract for waitstaff and bar tender tipping – it’s often included in the contract – if it’s not, you need to tip them.
For feeding vendors, it’s nice if you can feed anyone who will be there for a good chunk of your day and will be present at meal time. So IMO, photographer/videographer – yes, soloist and Mariachi band – no. It’s traditional to invite the officiant to your reception, and you’d need to feed him a guest meal and not a vendor meal if you do this. This may be one of those ettiquete things that’s fallen out of vogue, though? Before you start ordering meals, check with your vendors to make sure they want to be fed by letting them know ahead of time that you will be providing food if they would like it. We didn’t check with some of our vendors before we ordered their meals, and they chose not to eat – in retrospect, it would have been nice not to have paid for the uneaten meals 🙂
Post # 6
Thanks! I didn’t even think about sending the priest an invite but now I know! This sounds reasonable.
Post # 7
Good advice, owlbride! Makes sense to me 🙂
Post # 8
What if my meal is a buffet? It seems pretty obscene to have to tip when we’re serving ourselves. My contract mentions nothing.
Post # 9
owlbride’s advice sounds good to me! We are also having a buffet – 10% tip is built into our cost, but I don’t know about tips beyond that for the men/women who are keeping the platters full, consolidating leftovers, etc.
Post # 10
FYI – as far as feeding vendors, it doesnt have to be the same meal the wedding guests are eating. seriously it can be a pizza or a boxed lunch type meal, but if they are working more than 3 hours (i.e. dj, photographer, etc) you dont want them fading so provide a bit of nosh and at least water to keep them on top of their game and its a nice thing to do!
Post # 11
I am so glad you asked this question, because we are at the point where we were thinking about this same question. I had heard, like owlbride pointed out, that you tip anyone who is not the owner of the business.
What do you all think about these scenarios though?
1. Our officiant is a friend of ours (a Judge), and he is not charging. He’s not a really close friend, but we have hung out socially, and we both work with him in different ways. I was thinking we should get him a gift card to a restaurant? What would be an appropriate amount? He and his wife are invited to the reception.
2. Our DJ is also a friend, but again, not a close one. He is a friend/co-worker’s significant other, but he is charging us very little, much, much less than any other DJ we would have hired. Maybe get him a gift card too?
As a side note, our videography and photography contracts include feeding them, so you may want to check that, because you might be required to feed some of your vendors! I do remember a lot of photographers that we met with including that in their contracts.