Post # 1
We have decided we are going to go ahead and merge our bank accounts this weekend. Until now, we have had seperate ones and just split everything 50/50, which is a colossal pain in the ass.
If you are a Bee who opperates out of just one account with their SO, any tips would be appreciated. Do you do anything differently than before when you had seperate accounts? Is this method easier?
*Not asking if we should or should not.
Post # 3
I have no advice and I can’t really relate to this just yet. I’m just following this thread out of curiosity since BF and I will be moving in together in January. Our plan is to keep everything separate and split everything 50/50 but I am curious to know if merging finances makes things easier.
Post # 4
We each still have our own accounts and then we have our joint account for bills Etc.
Post # 5
We will have one account after the wedding. The one thing I’d suggest is to at least have a discussion about discretionary spending. How much can each of you spend without “approval” by the other? For example, can you spend $500 on something without discussing it, making sure its ok with your FI. Can he spend that without asking you?
My BFF and her husband have a $150 limit. Under that for personal purchases is fine. Over that, it needs to be a conversation.
Post # 6
@Glasgowbound: That seems fair to me! Thank you for the advice, that’s a great tip 🙂
Post # 7
@LadyBlackheart: Splitting 50/50 has worked great for us for the last 2+ years, but at this point we have so many different bills and expenses we didn’t have back then, that it’s just a pain to keep running to the ATM when bills are due. Now, we also are starting to have his children staying with us (a whole new set of expenses), and I certainly don’t want to get into a “your turn to pay, your kids” kind of thing at all, ever. This just makes more sense for us now.
Post # 8
@Glasgowbound: thats some smart advice. FI and i will be combining either right before or right after the wedding (i can’t decide if i want to wait until i have my new name), and though we rarely go shopping for ourselves, that is a good boundary to set ahead of time.
Post # 9
My SO and I have had one single account for years. My tips are:
1. No fighting about money. Joint accounts often lead to money fights, but fighting does not put more money in the account. 🙂
2. Establish a realistic budget for what is going in and going out.
3. Make a rule about how much is ok to spend without the other persons “consent”. We set $200. So, if one of the cars needs new tires we both need to agree on that because it would be over the $200.
4. You each get your own “spending money allowance” that you can go out and waste however you want without questions, criticism, etc. This is his x-box games money, bar money, dumb crap he wants to buy, and my handbag, shoes, and dumb crap I want to buy money.
5. Have at least monthly “meetings” just to make sure you’re both still comfortable with the finances and have a clear idea of what is going on with your finances.
GOOD LUCK! Hope these tips help 🙂
Post # 10
We have a joint account where all paychecks and incidental money goes (sometimes I sell stuff, he gets bonuses, etc.). We allocate ourselves each a couple hundred dollars for here and there spending and put those in two separate accounts, one for each of our use. We pay for most everything out of the joint account. All bills, groceries, gas, restaurants/entertainment, etc. We buy little stuff for ourselves out of the personal accounts. Mostly, I use that one for shopping and stuff I don’t need.
We’re on all of accounts so it’s all transparent. I don;t understand people having separate accounts.
Post # 11
DH and I put all the money into one pot, pay all the bills out of the pot, put the decided-upon amount from the pot into savings, and then divide the pot in two and transfer it to separate accounts for our monthly “allowance.” I absolutely LOVE this system — it is completely fair to both of us as it evens out any income disparities and bill disparities (example: my car payment is a little more than DH’s and I have student loan bills that he doesn’t, but I also make more money than him. None of that matters — we each get the exact same amount of $$ at the end of the month), but it also means I don’t need to ask his permission to take my sister out to lunch or go get a pedicure with “my” allowance money. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!
Post # 12
Please let us know how it goes! I want to do this so badly!
Post # 13
@iarebridezilla: +1 This is what we do as well & I have no complaints. We both have full access to the joint savings/checking but control our own personal checking (spending) accounts. Its nice to have my own account that DH can’t access for birthday/Christmas presents, etc.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We are totally merged and it is SO MUCH EASIER this way. We fully merged a little more than a year ago. Prior to merging we used a yours-mine-ours system where we eached maintained seperate accounts and shared a joint account for all shared purchases. It was so annoying to figure out what was an individual purchase vs. a shared purchase. We were already in the habit of consulting each other on discretionary purchases (I want a new dress, he wants a new bow), so we just continued that habit post-merge. We go online together once a week to check the balance and track our progress on our savings plan, and more often if we want to make a bigger purchase. I take lead on making sure the bills are paid through our credit union’s e-bill service, and we both take rtesponsibility for keeping our spending in check. It works so well for us because we are both on the same page about spending vs. saving, and we are both firmly committed to achieving our long-term financial goals. It’s very much a “we’re a team” mentality about money, and it serves us well.
Post # 15
Our plan (not til the wedding, though) is to put a certain percentage of our individual income as spending money / personal savings and the rest in one account. Money held prior to marriage in individual accounts stays there. Only waht is accrued afterward is pooled together, unless, for instance, we’re trying to pool individual savings towards a big purchase like a house, etc.
Post # 16
@iarebridezilla: I will have to try this system out with my SO – thank you! I’m horrible with money, hence need him to be my accountability buddy for my bad spending habits. That’s why I’m cool with merging finances before marriage – so that I can be accountable sooner.
ETA: Quick question – by bills do you include your car payments/student loan payments or is it only joint bills that are paid out of the full pot? Then your share of the post-joint bill balance is used to pay student loans/car payments?