Post # 16
thesoontobemrsv : Thank you for your input. I feel like you misunderstood me, though. I only originally thought of $10k as a starting place (and only because I thought we were gonna try to keep it small!), and I felt like I mentioned somewhere that I did realize that it would have to be higher with the amount of people. 🙂 I also did mention that yes we really don’t want price to limit our guest list, but I do understand that there are realities. $115 sounds absolutely crazy!! I’d rather have $50 a plate at the local Park District and no hor d’oeuvres or something!
I’ll take the math into account, I didn’t consider that. Much appreciated! 😀
Post # 17
Where are you from? That makes a huge difference. $115 for a plated, seated and served dinner is probably on the low end estimate. If you want to save money, go off season (January to March or November to December) and do your wedding on a Friday or a Sunday.
We live outside of Toronto and our PP is actually around that (but our Hall includes quite a bit like linen rental etc, which may be something you haven’t thought of yet, wedding planning gets extremely complicated). Going closer to Toronto you start to get into starting at the $130 PP range depending on where you’re looking if you’re looking on a Saturday in October which is starting to get popular I’ve been told.
Also keep in mind: when your parents get involved, no matter how much they are incorporating, they will invite whoever they want, no matter how many people that is. So you’re guest list may balloon from 85 to 200, despite the fact that they aren’t paying for those other 115 people. Parents have a way of doing that. 🙂
Post # 18
thesoontobemrsv : I’m in the Midwest, near Chicago. I was trying to do a Park District reception, but I have nooo clue about ceremony ideas, was just hoping to put the ceremony in with the reception! I’m an educator so I was thinking during Spring Break in March, maybe.
Honestly, I just wish my FI was on board with a destination wedding and a reception later at a central location!! I’m still trying to talk him into it 😉
Post # 19
Tell him destination weddings are cheaper. He’ll get on board real fast lmao 😉
Post # 20
We made a list of everyone we could possibly want to invite and then were brutal and picked out the absolute must-invites (closest friends and immediate family – parents, siblings, grandparents and my nieces, nephews and SILs). We then had a core group of extended friends and family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) who we’d like to invite, but wouldn’t be devastated if they couldn’t make it and then some groups of optional extras and people for the evening do.
We’re inviting about 100 to the day and inviting another 20 or so people to the evening.
Post # 21
The most important piece of advice, one that cannot be repeated enough, is to invite in circles. Don’t pick and choose aunts/uncles, cousins, kids, in town/out of town, second cousins. If you pick and choose, you WILL hurt feelings. It’s also a common piece of advice on the bee to give parents and yourself a set number of slots. This isn’t realistic, because you’ll wind up violating the circles picking and choosing. Talk this through with parents before, but we wound up giving my parents and in laws a “one couple override.” Basically, they could choose to invite a couple that we didn’t know and that would have otherwise never been on our list. This worked well (after an initial scrap over it). As far as disagreements over old family friends and other friends of thiers and second cousins they’ve lost touch with but hey this is a great opportunity to recconect, NO. Resounding NO. Absolutely NO. Unapologetic NO. Remind them early and often that it’s your wedding not a family and friend reunion.
We started with a “lottery list.” If we won the lottery the next day and could throw the biggest baddest wedding ever, who would we invite? That list was enourmous, almost 400 people. Then we started cutting. Kids, second cousins, family friends and childhood friends we haven’t seen in years by circles. We started taking notes of each cut and where it would put us, down to the “elopement list” of basically our parents and siblings. We were figuring out a budget simultaneously. How much could we reasonably put into the pot. We eventually landed on a version of the list that made us both happy and when we started meeting with venue managers, we could say “okay we can pay $XXX a person, and we have a guest list of about XXX.”