(Closed) Tired, bothered, and bewildered…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ugh, I’m sorry to hear all this. There always seems to be something (or many somethings) in life that is more important than a wedding. Right now FI is dealing with 3 stepkids that need cars, insurance, shoes, birthday parties, etc etc… We have a house that I despise so we are trying to remodel… He wants to go back to school to finish his Bachelor’s… Blah blah blah! It’s like I can look at wedding stuff all day long but in the evening as we lay in bed all we talk about is the NON-WEDDING stuff we have to spend money on.

Failure!

I hope everything gets easier soon. Chin up.

And thanks for your service, too, by the way :).

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We haven’t locked anything in yet, and we both have relatively inexpensive tastes so that helps. We are looking at a venue that is nearly all-inclusive – the only things their quote didn’t include was photographer, DJ, flowers (though they could do that if we wanted), attire and cake – and it was about $7,600. And it wasn’t a compromise either – they could provide everything we really wanted within that quote.

We have a good friend who is also a wedding photographer who will do our pics (we will insist on paying her something), my BMs are cool and low-maintenance and I am letting them choose their own dresses, our invitations will be from Etsy and only like $300, his sister is a hairstylist and I’m going to con her into doing our hair… so we are managing to keep it relatively cheap but it’s like. Oye. For serious?

We both agree that we are going to spend what little money we have on this day, though. This is FI’s second marriage (I realize in my OP that I talked about his “stepkids” – erm they’re his kids, MY future stepkids) but his first wedding, and my first anything, so we want to have a great time.

I am glad that any of the stuff that usually costs all the money, we are totally not into. No big cake-cutting utensils or champagne flutes, no limos, no massive centerpieces, our ONLY flowers will be the ones physically on our person, etc…

The one wrench in the works is that I have fallen deeply in love with a $2,680 dress. Ouch!

What about you guys? Have you thought of any ways to chop the bill?

Post # 7
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MsChievous08: They *do* have free wedding dress giveaways to people in the Military.  Not guaranteeing you’ll find anything but it’s worth a try.  I tried and was the last appointment out of a two day gig and didn’t find anything–I wouldn’t take anything, even for free.  BUT, it’s worth a try.  I think it’s called Brides for America or Brides Across America or something like that.  You can look up salons near you to see if they’re having an event–most happen around patriotic holidays.  Just some info.

Post # 10
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MsChievous08: I am droooooooooling over a dress by Lea-Ann Belter (http://www.lea-annbelter.com/). Her dresses are all handmade in the US of the best silks, and they are made to measurement (10 measurements to be precise), not to size. They are pretty expensive (I think the one I chose – Avery, in the Muskoka collection – is one of the “cheaper” ones) but so gorgeous and amazing and not very common in the wedding world from what I can tell. The boutique I went to has only sold one or two Averys.

There are definitely venues that include everything. Especially venues that specialize in weddings come with their own linens, tables, plates, catering service, etc. They are often cheaper than outside vendors. The venue we are looking at even has an in-house coordinator and florist!

And by the way, I went back over my quote and it is actually only $7,064… I got that 6 misplaced in my mind. I also found a way to shave off $600 more so it would probably only be about $6,400 – and that leaves us alcohol, DJ, clothes, and cake to buy. And that’s it!

Since we are not nutty about everything being matchy-matchy, one of the costs I shaved was rented glassware. For example, I could rent cocktail glasses for $0.65 apiece, or I could go, between now and Nov. 2012, to 463972 Goodwills and pick up cheap non-matching (but not tacky) glasses for probably $0.25 apiece. Who cares if Bobby’s vodka-cran is in a different glass than Joey’s scotch-and-soda? Then after the reception I can just donate them back! With the cost spread out over time, and with something like glasses that won’t go out of style/spoil, there is no reason to wait to buy them.

This is beginning to come together and I am so excited.

What do you have in mind? Any ideas about cutting costs that I can steal too? 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MsChievous08: Thank you very much for serving our country, we appreciate you greatly.  I don’t have much else to add other than I hope you get it all figured out.

Post # 14
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The biggest thing I’ve done to cut costs is that I found a venue that’s all-inclusive: cake, DJ, glassware, photographer, deco, food, flowers, favors, etc etc…all for $5,600! It took a very long time to find a venue like that…but worth it, even if it is 3 hours away from my house. Plus, we get 10% for being military, which is something I would definitely ask vendors!

I know your day will be lovely and special! <3

And thank you for your service. I know how hard it can be sometimes. *hugs*

Post # 15
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MsChievous08: Sorry it’s taken so long to answer:  the selection was pretty bad, given that my appointment was the VERY last of the two day event.  There were a lot of “destination” gowns there.  And I think it’s really hit or miss.  If you can find one in your area, it’s at least worth a try.  I was very disappointed when I went, and as I said, I didn’t even take a free one.   But that very afternoon, I called a shop in DE near where my FI lives and they were having a $200 sample sale.  Went the next day and found a dress I ADORE for $200.  *Alterations* are costing more than the dress…but, all that to say, it is possible to find a cheap gown…you just gotta look long and hard and DIG.  There were several other places in the DC area that had some discount gowns, but I never made it there.  There’s also the preowned bridal dress website(www.preownedweddingdresses.com) that I thought I would end up using, but then didn’t have to.  Here’s a pic of my dress btw:

Post # 16
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

And it is “Brides Across America.”  Just google that and participation locations by state will come up.  Good luck finding something you love!  My FI is convinced that since I didn’t pay a lot for my dress I must not love it, so he promised me that for our 10th anniversary, he’ buy me a dress like the ones they have at Kleinfeld’s on “Say Yes to the Dress,”  and I’m like, Oh honey!  You don’t even KNOW how much I love my dress!  I can’t wait for him to see it! 🙂

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