Tired of FMIL's antics

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Tell her you will have someone at the door, and if there is anyone that tries to come in that is not on YOUR original guest list they will be asked to leave. So to avoid her being embarrassed she needs to stop inviting people because they will not be let in!

Post # 4
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow what a nutjob. My only advice is to put a password on that site, and share it with only people you guys invited. Don’t give to his side of the family if they will share it with fmil. Also let her know that if these people show up you guys don’t have choice and be forced to turn her away. Let your Fi deal with her, so fars it sounds like he is doing all he can. The nerve of some poeple man.

Post # 7
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@bythebeach:  +1. If FMIL won’t co-operate, you must work around her. How embarrassing for her, and for her “guests,” but certainly not for you. This is not your fault.

I would also keep this in the back of your head for future events. Will she invite non-invitees to your open house, children’s baptisms, Christmas parties….? Something to keep an eye on.

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@icanhearyousmile:  Wow. You need a guest list and table settings. Those you didn’t invite won’t have a seat. I would tell your FMIL to quit it immediately or she will be responsible for the extra costs. How dare she!

Post # 9
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You might have shot yourself in the foot when you told her that she had to pay for the extra people. Did you ever have a conversation after that to tell her that she can’t actually invite them? It might be possible that she took this to mean that it was okay to invite her friends. I’m not saying she should have just gone ahead and done it but she may have had innocent intentions.

 

Post # 10
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@icanhearyousmile:  I would also turn them away. They weren’t invited and it’s ridiculous to purchase a flight and travel to a wedding you’re not wanted at. Their issue, not yours. Your FMIL can explain it to them when they’re turned away.

Post # 11
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

YOu need to tell her they won’t be served food or drinks or have a chair as you have not paid for any extra nor did you invite anymore than the number you two personally invited.  I’d let her know in no uncertain terms that *her* guests will be standing in the back watchng everyone else eat and drink and that it will be painfully obvious that they were not invited, which will embarass them and her.

You need to put your foot down or you’ll be setting the precedent for your entire married life with her.  If you allow her overbearing nonsense to continue, you might as well give up now.  As PP mentioned, what are you going to do for holidays? Children’s events (if you have children)?  Do you really want this woman calling all the shots?

Post # 12
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@KC-2722:  +1

 

@icanhearyousmile:  It’s not your issue if they have paid for cross country flights…they weren’t invited! If you get back any ‘Yes’ RSVPs then have your FI inform your FMIL that she has to call them and tell them that she should not have invited them.

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@icanhearyousmile:  Oh. Well, if she’s paying for it then I wouldn’t really care, lol. She totally should have asked you first but so long as I wasn’t out any money I’d be okay with it.

Post # 16
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@icanhearyousmile:  this situation still sucks but to be totally honest… If you never told her she couldn’t actually invite extra people than she probably legitimately thought this was okay to do. Hopefully now that your FI has talked to her about it she won’t invite more people.

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