Post # 1
Ok this is a rant….
I am sick and tired of friends asking how much we are spending on flower, photographer, videographer etcetcetc only for them to say “oh that is so much!, you could book this other guy for less” or “ oh you could have done it yourself and save $”..
But ughhh how I hateeee hearing those comments!
Specially when they speculate how much we have spent so far and they say “I can’t imagine spending that much on one day, I rather have a house”.
Ok WE also rather have a house, but WE made a decision to have a wedding because WE want to.. because WE can afford it… WE are not spending ridiculous amount of money.. and soooo what if it will take us another year to buy a house… that is a decision that WE consciously made!…
And yes we could have save some $ going with the other guy or DIYing lots.. but WE dont like that guy, WE want peace of mind and sanity soooo we are not slaverying our Bridal Party nor our family or guests… soooo stoppppppppppppppppppp givingggg meee yourrr unsoliciteddd opinionnnnnn… weeeee donttttt neeeeddd ittttt….
How shall i still be nice and say this? ughh.. whatever…
Ughhhhhhhh…. End rant…
ETA: this is info mainly shared with 2 other friends that are bride to be and where recently bride… and they are both considered close friends too… I so wished I never asked and they never asked me,,, ughh..
Post # 3
@lstyle25: The 100% fix to this? Stop sharing. Stop telling. Just say, “Oh FI booked it” or “My parents are taking care of that so I really don’t know.” It’s rude for them to inquire unless they are forking over the dough.
If all else fails, tell them you don’t appreciate the questions. When they are getting married, you’ll be happy to share what you learned. Until then, you are still learning!
Nosy people are the worst…
Post # 4
Stop telling them how much everything costs. Then they won’t be able to comment on how expensive it is.
Post # 5
@lstyle25: I understand. Don’t give them any more bait. Don’t discuss $$ details with them. If/when they ask, say you’re working on those details and quickly change the subject. It is truly none of their business. If they persist, express that you’d rather not discuss it. If they persist again, set a rule: Ok, I’ll tell you, but I don’t want to hear anything about how you’d spend the money differently, or choose a different vendor, or anything. You have to promise me you will listen and only offer happiness and advice if asked. Deal? I see no reason why you can’t set up a boundary like this if it is bothering you that you are stepped on each time the subject comes up.
Post # 6
@lstyle25: that is seriously annoying. As uncomfortable as it may be, I will likely reply to those inquiries with “we decided not to discuss the budget with anyone”. Really- ain’t nobody’s business!
Post # 7
@LilRhodyGem: this is mainly with friends that are bride to be or where a bride.. so we have share tips and what not.. but it is getting to be exhausting.. i wished i never asked so i wouldn;t have to share so much info.. ughh
Post # 8
I am not even engaged and started getting questions about what I was speculating on doing. Seriously?! You just have to stop telling them anything or come up with good answers that don’t really answer the question like: Not too muhc, we’re happy with the price. Why do you ask? Are you planning a wedding?
People can be so nosy. I wish everyone just learned to stay in their lanes!
Post # 9
Why are you sharing how much you’re spending? I feel like how much someone spends on their wedding is really personaly, it’s usually such a large amount of money. And if parent’s have contributed, I woiuldn’t want people who know my parents how much they gave me for my wedding. I let it slip ONCE to my aunt when I was making a sarcastic comment, and I hope she’s forgotten!
Post # 10
@MexiPino: Yeah. I like your thinking. Short. Sweet. Objective. They can’t argue much with that line!
Post # 11
@MsJ2theZ: this is info shared with close friends that are also wedding planning and what not.. i also ask for their pricing and what not to compare vendors… but i don’t ever tell them they should spend more or less.. but they doooo tell me that back so that is what it is annoying..
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
This was happening to me a bit and I have just stopped sharing. I’m surprised when that still doesn’t stop some people. A friend of FI’s asked where are wedding was…so we told her…she looked at him with pity and said “Ouch, that’s gotta cost you a pretty penny”…then preceded to tell us how her friend thought our city was so outrageously expensive she had the wedding 5 hours away in a different county because even factoring in transportation etc…it still cost less. She went on and on about how her friend saved so much. Well that’s great for her but I want our wedding to be in the city where we live. I’m not spending a huge fortune on it. It just really rubbed me the wrong way that she went on and on about how bad she felt for him when I was right there. This was at a party she hosted for a big group of FI’s friends from college.
A few other female friends of his or often his friend’s wives also seem to ask me why I wanted such a long engagement (1 year)? They all go on and on about how they “just wanted to get married” and what’s wrong with me that I can stand to wait sooo long?! I just smile and tell them that I wanted a year plan and we’re happy with our decision.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
@LilRhodyGem: I agree. Stop telling them how much you’re spending. If they start to speculate, be straightforward and tell them it’s none of their business and you’d appreciate it if they back off. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with unsupportive people like this.
Post # 14
@Ms_Purple: ain’t them annoying! lols.. i feel for you.. but those comments will keep coming at you soo gotta learne to be patient and block those comments out… 😉
i just needed to rant lols.. 2 more months till the big dayyy.. can’t wait to not hear those unsolicited advice anymoreeee..
Post # 15
“i just needed to rant lols.. 2 more months till the big dayyy.. can’t wait to not hear those unsolicited advice anymoreeee..”
Sadly, it will probably continue with whatever is next, babies, house, car, vacations or whatever. People always want to be so darn helpful
Post # 16
@lstyle25: Totally feel where you are coming from. I have the same problem only opposite. My one friend winges we shuld get the best most expensive of everything… erm we are pulling teeth to pay for this wedding as it stands. She insists her father will pay for her wedding as has speculated a lavish sum…great for her, but I don’t have a daddy to pay for my wedding.
It gets me down when people involve themselves with my money matters.