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i've also experienced this lately. it's not THAT difficult, people. (she says as she works up the energy to write her shower thank yous)
@katiebbee: agreed! And I know it can be a pain in the ass, but I felt so good writing all my shower thank yous. And I was really happy to hear from my mom's friends, FMIL's friends and directly from my friends how much they loved my notes! It was a really good feeling and I really was thankful for the gifts I received.
There have been a few occassions when I never recieved a TY and I was annoyed, even just a generic card to acknowledge my gift would have been nice.
Amen to that!
I am a big proponant of TY cards! I am also sick of not recieving them...it's horrendous!
Twice I've been invited to weddings, and not rec'd one. Well, when those ladies baby showers rolled around, I was understandably all tied up that day. Ya know what? You don't appreciate my time or my gift for your wedding? You're not getting anything else from me!
I guess it's never bothered me... I just thought back to a wedding I went to and a wedding I was in and I didn't get a note from either but I don't really care... it's just a note- they can save the trees and just call or say thank you to me the next time they see me and I'm good.
Totally agree; I make it a point to send thank you notes as promptly as I can. Lol I am the person who sends a thank you note for getting a thank you note (thank you Mom for your OCD)
Yeah...I think I can give people the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard when no one does it.
I think people just aren't taught to do it anymore. I can't blame someone for not knowing any better, I just make sure to send them TYNs every time I get a gift.
I HATE writing thank-you notes. But seriously, for big events like wedding/baby showers and weddings, you NEED to write them. If you want to "Go Green" at least send an e-mail or call, (maybe send traditional thank-yous to people who would prefer them, like your Grandma, etc.).
@HappierKate: Good point. I'm thankful for parents who have taught me to do so. Also, my bf's birthday was last week and when I came over yesterday I saw him writing notes to his grandparents. Cutest thing ever. I asked him if he always does that and he said yes.
I completely agree!! We had all of our TYs out before we cashed ANY checks or opened any gifts-- they were all out within 2 weeks of our wedding. I've been experiencing this a lot lately, and it makes me sick. When I was a kid, we wrote thank yous to everyone for every gift (birthday, Christmas, etc.). I still write thank yous for those gifts as an adult! And what's with the crappy Facebook "thank you" cop out?? Writing "thank you for the gift" on my Facebook wall is NOT an acceptable thank you for a $200 gift.
@katiebbee: Amen! You are preaching to the choir here!
I have been wanting to rant about this too. I am sick of no thank you's as well!
I got a text 5 minutes after leaving a bridal shower saying thanks for the gift. It was a group text. No formal thank you to follow. This has bugged me. Texting is the way we communicate more and more --but for a formal thank you? No thanks.
Another girl --> bachelorette gift --no thank you, jack & jill gift --no thank you, baby shower gift --no thank you. At this point I refuse to buy this person another gift.
I bought a $75 gift card to Victoria's Secret for another bride's shower and one week later she called the wedding off. However, six months later she sent a thank you card for her gift. Go figure. People are bizzare.
@frenchie427: I would have cut that person off after the J&J....
Anyone getting a lot of this very cute Thank You notes with the Bridge & Groom's photos on them? They are splendid ---but everytime I open them up of flip it over to look at the back, there is nothing written inside. This too bugs me. It is like me mailing someone a blank card IMO, but atleast I got one.
@frenchie427: I got that for another wedding I didn't mention. It is definitely pretty but bugs me too. Just write a few sentences.
A relative of mine just dropped the ball on this as well. Normally, she sends handwritten thank-yous. But for her wedding? All we got was a photo with a poem printed on it 6 months after the wedding. I suppose it's better than nothing, but it just rubbed me the wrong way...6 whole months and you just send the same thing to every guest?
@katiebbee: That's adorable! I had to make mine start writing them. I was addressing a TYN to his parents for Christmas and he was like, "Why are you doing that? They don't need one." and I was like, "...I'm about to teach you a new habit."
@frenchie427: I hate the TYNs with just computer script because it's like, "You understand that it's polite to send these, yet you're going to skip actually thanking me for the specific gift I got you?" I actually prefer nothing to notes that aren't personalized. Even a "Dear HappierKate," with one handwritten line ended with, "Love, Person Writing This Note," is far preferable.
ETA: Not to say that a typed out note is bad, I understand having horrible handwriting or hand pain that makes it hard to write things out, but the computerized, "Thank you for your gift!" as opposed to, "Thank you so much for the dutch oven. It is beautiful and I plan on making many stews in it as the cold winter approaches. I really enjoyed seeing you at our wedding, and can't wait to see you again soon!" written in computer script.
I am totally with you. I hate not getting thanked. And I agree with a PP if you are to busy to thank me for a gift I get you, I suddenly have much less time to get you another gift for another occasion.
I don't get what the big deal is about sending them either. I sent out TY's to approximately 75 individuals 2 days after the wedding and it took DH and I maybe 2-3 hours. We sat down and cranked them out. But still made sure they were personal, and mentioned both the gift they gave, how we were excited to use it, and something memorable about them from the wedding. It only becomes a big deal if you make it one.
You said it!
I don't see what the big deal is. Sure, they're a pain in the butt, especially if you had a lot of guests. But COME ON! I understand when people don't send them out instantly, but never? Yuck.
I admit, I have never NOT received a thank you when it was absolutely necessary, but I would be outraged if I were in your position. That is unacceptable! Basic etiquette people! Lol
I feel the exact same way! I've never received a thank you note from any of the weddings I've been to as an adult!
AMEN! I went to a wedding last May and I'm still waiting for that TY card. I also recently moved to a new city and sent two friends who recently had babies a few gifts from a local store and some souveniers. I know they're busy, so I don't expect a TY card, but I was at least hoping for an acknowledgment that they received the stuff. I would've been happy with just a Facebook post or message saying they got the package. I know they're both on Facebook all the time, so I don't think that's unreasonable. I'm so miffed I don't think I'm sending them any more gifts.
God, yes. I never received a thank you note from my brother and SIL's wedding back in 2007 - and it still bugs me a little bit! They're about to start divorce proceedings though, so I guess I've gotta let it go ;)
FI was a groomsman in a wedding and never received a GM gift (I don't care about the gift, but at least a card showing appreciation.) We gave them $150 for their wedding and never got a TY. It bothers me. Just show that you appreciate it, damnit! I'll give people some time...a few months even, but never?!? I just think it's a bit disrespectful to the people who took time and money out of their lives to be there.
I used to pass on kids clothes to two work colleagues. We don't work the same shifts so I would just leave a labelled box in the staff room. I know that they use them. I have stopped because neither one of them could work up the energy to say thanks whether in person or by email. They now go to a young mom's group at the community centre.
I may not be able to choose not to give you a wedding gift because I don't know ahead of time that you are not going to write thank you notes, but I can make choices in other areas of my life.
I can't imagine not writing thank you notes. I know they take a long time, but it's really impolite to not thank someone for a gift, or for attending your wedding! My parents made thank you notes a huge deal growing up; now I can't even deposit a check in my bank account until I know the card has been written (which may pose a problem for wedding thank yous...but at least I'll be as quick as I can!).
I love this thread! Mostly because I just finished hand writing 15 thank you cards for my daughter's second birthday party. I even had her "sign her name" in them to get her in the habit early, haha.
I'm still waiting on a thank you from someone's wedding in October and she was bitching on facebook last month about how HARD it is to write thank you's. Seriously.
I hated when our friends got married only a few people gave gifts (4) and only a handfull gave cards (8-9) and she hasnt even bothered sending thank yous being all happy that she has 12 months to send them.
If a new mom doesnt send a thank you note well shes busy but a new bride really should within a few months tops.
I got a thank you text (it said, thanks for the stuff), it was a thank you I guess, but still I would have liked to have a hand written thank you note when I get you a $300 KitchenAide Mixer!
in May last year i mailed my nephew/his wife a $800 gift card for their baby because i was out of town for the shower
eventually i had to email my sister (the grandma) and ask if they got the gift card because i was worried it was lost in the mail as i didnt even get an acknowledgement - i still havent seen a text, email, card saying thank you and he was born in August
the year ealier i hosted my other nephews baby shower - yeah, still waiting for a thank you for that party and the same value gift card also
@eloping: That's just sick! I mean seriously?! Someone slightly above minimum wage makes $8/hr-- this person would spend 100 hrs (2.5 weeks) to earn the gift you gave...and the person that received the gift couldn't take 20 minutes to write a thank you??? (I'm sure you don't make minimum wage if that's the gift you gave, but no matter what that is a significant time investment). Sorry, if this doesn't make sense, but I'm just floored! I can't imagine how you feel!
It is incredibly tacky to not send TYs, or to send impersonal photo cards, or group text messages.
As a bride, or receiver of any types of gift, it is your responsibility to send a TY to each gifter. I can't believe people could be so rude as to not do this. If guest go to the trouble of finding, wrapping, and bringing or sending a gift, you can bet I will go to the trouble to thank them.
@katiebbee: Not writing thank you notes is BEYOND rude. My grandmother would be rollin' in her grave if I didn't send them! I have been recently teased at how quick my thank you notes after a recent shower went out. I would MUCH rather seem like an "eager beaver" than be ungrateful!
On a related note, do you ever see brides complain about writing thank you notes on Facebook?! It makes me wish I hadn't send a gift!
I agree with you all! It is SO RUDE! What's worse is lately I've sent presents and didn't even get CALLS to thank me!!! One was my dad's birthday present, which I told my mom I was sending so she would have told me if it didn't get there. I didn't even get a call for a thank you! Yes, it was late, but only about 3 days late! Grrrrrrr
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Hi Hive,
First off, I love this website. I'm not engaged yet but I love reading about all of your creative ideas and stores. I know writing thank you notes takes a long time- but frankly I'm sick of going to wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers for close friends and and never receiving a note back... here is a recent run down of thing I can remember.
Close College Friend - Wedding in August 2010: Attended out of state reception. (I was single at the time and I drove myself five and a half hours to her home town). I paid for a hotel for two nights. Gift: 100 check (which cleared my account the monday after the wedding). Not a fancy reception (just a VFW hall), but I never received a thank you note.
Very Close High School/Collegue Friend: Recieved TY Note for her Shower in March 2010 (100 dollar gift from Crate and Barrel), but not for 100 check for the reception that I attended in June 2010 (single then). (again, I know they cashed it). Attended her Baby Shower in November2011. No Thank You Note yet and I spent 80 on a gift, plus 3 hours to drive there and back.
Close Friend & Work Collegue #1: Attended Bachelorette Party In September 2011 : Bought her her Dinner/drinks and also Spent 60 dollars on a gift. No Thank You. Attended her Wedding in October and gave her 100 check (My BF couldn't make it as he was working so my gift was for one person attending). Again, no TY note.
Work Collegue #2: Attended her all day long baby shower in early October 2011 (wtf). Bought a nice couple of outfits from baby gap that Suri Cruise would be proud to wear. Nothing.
I know people are busy. I know times are hectic. But seriously girls. If you can make time to do these 1 million DIY projects before your wedding, can't you make the time to write TY notes afterward? It doesn't have to be complicated. Heck, if you forget what I got you, just say "nice gift" and write the same thing on every card. But please, for some of these weddings I was a single girl trying to make ends meet and I came to every event for you. And I was buying a classy gift off of your registry or a check. It doesn't take long to write a little note of thanks.