Post # 1
So, we are having our wedding in El Paso, which is where Fiance and I are both from originally. We now live in San Antonio, but over 80% of our friends and family live in El Paso, so this will be convenient. I also love El Paso, it may not be the prettiest place in the world, but it is where we grew up and I want to get married there! 🙂 People, in particular people from SA and current job, keep commenting about how ugly El Paso is (and most have never been there) and how dangerous it is (which is not true, Juarez is dangerous, but El Paso is ok).
Also, we are having our wedding on December 22nd, yes, a Wednesday. Although this may seem strange, over half of our guests are teachers and will be off. A large portion of the other guests are going to be off and already in town for the holidays, so they will not have to make an extra trip.
We were really REALLY trying to make our wedding fun, but also convenient, yet we keep getting comments about how ugly El Paso is or how inconveneint our date is. I am totally ok and understand that some people won’t be able to come. BUT, I think that is all that needs to be said, not a rude comment about why someone can’t or (more hurtful) doesn’t want to be there. I know my wedding is not the center of everyone’s world, but hope that people can atleast be happy for us!
Moral support greatly appreciated 🙂 Did anyone else have issues like this?
Post # 3
I’m the type of person who would turn to someone making a comment and tell them that if they don’t want to be there to share in my happiness then don’t come. I’ve done it, and trust me, they realize they need to have a little more tact.
I received comments about getting married on a Saturday night (doesn’t happen in my culture) and as soon as I told someone they don’t have to come if they don’t like it they backpedaled huge.
Post # 4
I’m sorry. I feel like people are so judgmental about weddings. The date, time, food, locations, even the decorations. It seems like people have comments about everything!
I agree, just tell them that they don’t have to come. Your wedding is about you and your FI . . . don’t lose sight of that. You don’t have to please anyone else.
Post # 5
@ marlew and angela83 I think I definitely need to start standing up for myself. 🙂 As a teacher, I think you are definitely right that sometimes people just need to be “reminded” that there comments may have hurt someone else! Thanks for the comment and I think a Saturday wedding would accomodate just about everyone, so good luck!
Post # 6
My out of town guests actually complained we weren’t getting married in the famous mountains of Montana (apparently they are famous, news to me). The closest mountains we have are an hour away. Plus, I don’t like mountains. I lived for three years in Bozeman and couldn’t stand the super cold and loooooong winters (plus I hate snow activities like skiing, sledding, etc.). So,…why would I go get married in the mountains just to please them? I’ll take my warm garden wedding thank you very much.
I told the one family member (cousin) that the FI and I grew up in the town we are getting married and we are both PROUD of that fact. Only tourists want to go see the mountains. She declined to come thank goodness!
Post # 7
I don’t understand why people would actually say these things..they should just tell you that they can’t attend-period.
Sorry you are dealing with these comments..from what you said, it sounds like the perfect city and perfect date to get married. Don’t let anybody’s comments bring you down. 🙂
Post # 8
Are the people making these comments actual guests, or just people with whom you work or similar who aren’t invited?
Post # 9
It irks me to no end how everyone thinks they have a right to either have a say in your wedding or comment on what aspects they disapprove of for your wedding. Something you might be able to come back with is,
“It may not be the right venue or time of year for everyone, but the pieces fit and this is very right for us. Thanks for voicing your concern.”
It will most likely make them feel foolish for commenting in the first place. If the circumstances are right for you and your guests, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!
Post # 10
Try not to worry. You are having YOUR wedding in YOUR hometown, surrounded by YOUR friends. I would say every person who makes a snide commnet is one less person you have to buy an invitation for.
We live in New Mexico, and are having our wedding in lovely Oklahoma City, where my family is (unfortunately this means his family has to travel to OK from San Antonio, but they are better able to travel than my family is, and so Oklahoma won). We get an occassional nasty comment about the location, and we just make an offhand joke about how we’ve always wanted to do a destination wedding or something to that effect.
If people are really RUDE about it, just explain that the place and time work best for the your CLOSE friends and family, and leave it at that. This is supposed to be fun. Don’t let the jerks get you down.
Post # 11
Wow, I’m sorry people are being that way. I say tell them then they don’t need to come if they think it’s that bad! Usually people then realize what a huge ass they were and shut up quickly. I don’t know why people feel they are entitled to tell a bride (or a groom!) how THEY would do the wedding or how THEIR wedding went and the bride or groom should do it that way—um, were they asked? NO! UGH People are such morons sometimes. ::Hugs::
Post # 12
Don’t worry about it. I got complaints about going out of town to Fredericksburg, TX which you know how pretty and fun it can be. The people who truly care about you and your family and your FI will make the effort to go to El Paso and will enjoy being there. Btw… the mountain view in El Paso is pretty. And when we were in St. Lucia on our honeymoon people got married everyday we were there at all hours of the day. So the next time someone says, “El Paso is ugly tell them that San Antonio reminds you a lot of El Paso.” or something that will make them eat dirt for saying that. Haha.Think about it… same type of housing styles, hot and dry desert air, plants/vegatation is about the same. Only difference is El Paso has a mountain view and San Antonio has a river view.
Honestly do what you and your FI will enjoy. My husband is from El Paso. 🙂
Post # 13
hey! we’re getting married in el paso too! both mr.v and i are from there as well, and while we don’t live there any more, it just makes more sense for us to get married there. like you and your fiance, a good majority of our family and friends are still there and we both love el paso. nevermind what anybody else says – you do what feels right for the two of you.
p.s. we’re getting married 9 days after you! i think december in el paso is a wonderful time of the year – not hot and certainly not tooo cold like the rest of the world, lol. good luck! oh, and i’d love to hear more about your wedding! 🙂
Post # 14
Wow, I am so grateful for all the responses! 🙂 And support, this is what I love about having found weddingbee!
@teaadntoast A lot of these are actual invited guests who can’t come and I think feel atleast a little guility, so they make rude comments. I am trying just to let it go and joke it off 🙂
@ vintage 2010 and future mrs. v Thanks for backing me up on El Paso! It really is a nice place during the winter 🙂 The weather tends to be milder than other places and I really love Christmas lights in the desert and the luminarias in Eastridge!