- 5 years ago
I am fairly new to the Bee, so I had to read your previous threads before I could comment. (It would be helpful if you linked your threads!) I can empathise with your waiting — I’ve been with my SO for over 6 years before he proposed. When we first started going out, it wasn’t exactly a fairy-tale either.
BUT whenever I let other people’s questions of “When are you getting married?” That ticked me off and sent me off into bitch mode. Poor SO was on the receiving end.
If you don’t mind me asking, what nice things you have done recently for your SO?
Do you see him as being the One?
No offence, but timelines are unrealistic and puts unnecessary pressure. The moment I stopped caring about what others think and the moment I put more effort into self-development as well doing the things that remind why SO and I are together, it actually felt more fulfilling. I named this initiative “Project Getting Engaged” (PGE).
Here are the rules of PGE:
1. No wedding obsession
2. No getting engaged obsession
3. Do something thoughtful for SO at least every other day
Thanks for your reply! I’m sorry I erased the message.. Was feeling really down, pls forgive me!! But anyway, I guess I *do* see him as The One, even if it’s been really hard with my mom not being that accepting of him after the whole non-proposing bit…. But I think you’re right — that timelines can be a bit unrealistic, and especially in my case I’m just starting to get a good hold on my career…. Of course the meddling doesn’t help, but that’s a different story!!!!
I agree that I may need to start be nicer to him.. And your plan is worth a shot!!! I *do* need to be nicer to him.. So thank you. And I really like that!!! Project PGE! :)))
For anyone else who happens upon this thread.. I found the original post when I looked at the site on my phone ( sorry about the past threads thing — I’m pretty new here, so I have barely got the hang of all the things you’re supposed to do! Haha) Here it is:
I’ve posted about my relationship a little bit before, and I’ve come to a place of acceptance by now that maybe I can deal with this.. Maybe I can deal with the fact that he still hasn’t proposed after all these years of knowing him. I mean, I can understand his point of view, because maybe if I were him, maybe I *wouldn’t* propose, either. So, I guess there’s that.
But there is also this getting tired of waiting sort of thing. And now that I’ve finally landed an awesome job (for me), I am in a happier place in that regard. Of course, now I’m wondering whether I should study harder and try to move higher, but that’s another story, I guess… But I’m starting to not care anymore about the relationship status and everything, too, which I guess could possibly slowly become a problem…. Idk if it’s just tiredness from waiting and always thinking, “Is it EVER going to happen to me???” Or, what. Idk, I guess I’m just getting really tired of waiting, and what should I focus on now?? If I *don’t* get what I want???? I guess I could focus more on my “career”… I mean, that’s what I am starting to think.. Maybe that’s the only thing I have going for me now…
Thanks for letting me vent~! Just feeling a bit down, I guess, haha / thanks
@lepetitebee: Enjoy every moment! 🙂 Good luck on your PGE!
If at any time you feel like crawling somewhere to hide, when things get tough, remember that your SO will be there to talk to, openly.
My mom didn’t initially approve of my Fiance either (due to different race), but as time goes by, parents will realize that they can’t control who their children fall in love with. If your mom pressures you, just tell her to smile and relax. Engagement best happens when the least expected anyway. 🙂 Then, your mom will be all tears with joy!
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