Tired or waiting and need to vent!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I know exactly how you feel so virtual hugs. EVeryday I bounce between being sad/ angry and feeling dumb for making this such a big deal. We too just bought a house together. I didn’t care about being engaged before buying but again now I feel stuck almost. I don’t want to get your hopes up because I hate when people do that to me and it doesn’t work out the way they thought but maybe he’s saving on his own or putting something away and just wants to keep you in the dark. People have said the same about my SO but it doesn’t exactly give me comfort, just makes me angrier. It’s like its a game for them. Don’t they understand how it affects our brains!? lol

 

Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I was there OP not that long ago and I have known my FI since high school and we were together at that point for 6 years already.  I loved him but it came to the point where I had to make a choice about whose happiness was more valuable mine or his.  I had to set a boundary and prepared myself to be comfortable with the idea of walking away.  I finally got up enough nerve to tell him what I wanted in life that it was nothing personal, i’ll always love you but I want to be married to the man of my dreams and i’m sorry if this does not happen by my birthday we are going to have to go our separate way (4 years of living together).  Well he proposed this past September 5 days before my birthday so you see he waited to the absolute last minute.  Things will get better but you have to be open about communicating your wants and needs bring up the vintage cars and the vacations also start setting yourself up for the possiblity of walking away.  Pay down your student loans as much as possible, start creating a nest egg for yourself because the decision will be a lot easier if your with him because you want him not because you’ll be in a bad situation if you leave him.  Have faith believe in your heart that everything will work out in the best way possible and it will.

Post # 4
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You don’t need a ring to get engage. If you want to marry this guy it’s simple propose to him. If he’s ready he will say yes. 

Post # 5
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

hugs. i feel like an ultimatum would work for this. because it is what you want right? are you open to giving him one? setting up a timeline? it’s critical that you two talk about these things now that it’s been a while since you moved into your new house. if he isnt ready for marriage at all, would you walk away?  

Post # 7
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Delta18:  Yay congrats!!

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