To All of The Young Gals with Young Guys :)

posted 1 year ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Think About This!
    Move in with In-Laws if it's only for a short time. : (8 votes)
    6 %
    I had a similar situation, and it worked out! : (8 votes)
    6 %
    You can do it if you are both willinging : (6 votes)
    4 %
    I'm Not sure : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Wait until you can get your own place. : (114 votes)
    83 %
  • Member
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I am a firm believer in not getting married until you are financially ready to support yourselves as husband and wife, without the assistance of anyone else.

    At this point, I do not see what the rush is. You are both 18 years old. I would suggest focusing on school and then getting married.

    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You’re 17, dependent upon your parents, have never had a job, and have no plan on how to live on your own.  This is not judgement, this is experience speaking- please wait!

    Regardless of whether you are married or not, it is important to learn how to support yourself once you go to college.  Research costs of apartments and utilities in the town you and your boyfriend will be living in, find a job that you can work while going to class, and map out how much it costs to support yourself for a month (food, clothes, toiletries, etc).

    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee

    It would probably be much easier if you waited until at least one of you has graduated. Alternatively, you could do what many otherstudents do and share an apartment with a couple other students, assuming you both find a part time job. I would have prefered to have waited until I graduate next year and find a proper job over in my fiance’s country, but due to immigration restrictions and time limits we have to make our relationship legal asap.

    Member
    2296 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It sounds like your only option would be to live with family to save money. I went to school full time, worked part time 20 hours a week, and graduated magma cum laude so it is possible. But living on my own without help from my parents would have been impossible. If you won’t wait, then living with family is probably the only way to make it work. There are some scholarships for nursing/medical field where they pay for school plus some living expenses if you sign a contract to work at a low income facility for xxx years after you graduate. You could look into scholarships. 

    Member
    1779 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I agree with the other Bees- wait! I also wanted to add a BS in midwifery is not even a degree.. Midwifes require at least a masters degree.

    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee

    @wakyzakki:  I’m just curious, how are you defining “dating” in this post? This is not to criticize your beliefs or anything, it would just help to give better advice. Does this mean if you and your FI don’t get married right now, you won’t be together at all? 

    Member
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @wakyzakki:  Also, as another PP has mentioned, midwifery requires A LOT of school. My cousin started taking classes for midwifery and ended up quitting because they are really difficult. I’m not trying to discourage you from doing what you want. BUT, in the long run, juggling school + work + husband + keeping up with a household is going to be difficult.

    May I ask why you feel the need to get married right now is?

    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee

    @wakyzakki:  I think that to get married you should be an adult and be able to support yourselves. 

    Marriage is a serious step and to be taken while your not even able to support yourselves makes it sound like you’re taking it lightly.

    Why can’t you date? because of distance?

    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee

    @MeelaMay:  Hey sounds like we are in similar situations! where are you and your SO from?

    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee

    @arsing89:  This times 1000! 

    OP If you can’t financially support yourself just yet, and your FI can’t financially support himself, how the heck do you plan to financially support eachother? You say you don’t believe in dating, well if you put off the wedding it’s not dating it’s a longer engagement.

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