- 3 years ago
- Wedding: January 2017
So, at the respective ages of 31 & 33, FI proposed…shortly after our 7 year dating anniversary, and 2 years of living together…and nothing magically “changed”.
I had waited so long, and had so much anxiety pent up, wondering why he didn’t ask, why he wasn’t ready, was I good enough for him?, etc…I had finally decided I needed to let all this go, stop driving myself nuts, stop hurting him and our relationship as well with all the negativity.
Our proposal was simple, heartfelt, and no frills. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. What matters is I knew in my heart and the back of my mind all along that the day would come when he was ready…and we have a good thing, and I don’t want to lose him.
I think society, and other women, made me feel that we were wrong for not following some timeline in our relationship, and that pressure got to me. People had gone as far as to tell me I needed to leave him, without even knowing him, or our relationship. They said if he hadn’t proposed by now, he was never going to. I think you just know whether someone is worth waiting for, and if the relationship is heading in the right direction.
I had brought engagement and marriage up plenty, and we had many difficult, and sometimes uncomfortable, conversations. I had asked him once if he wanted marriage, and he said yes, and then I asked if he wanted a marriage with me, and he said of course. He asked me to trust him, and be patient with him, and I listened. Not always without continuing to have bad “waiting days” or “why, when!?!” moments, but I listened, and believed him.
Don’t let society make you feel you’re wrong because you haven’t reached certain “milestones” by a pre-determined timeline, & stop comparing yourself to others. It is, in all actuality, about the relationship and what YOU BOTH WANT. Not the ring, or the wedding.
Hang in there bees, & enjoy the NOW.