Post # 1
This comes from a recent comment that was a bit misconstrued. Rightfully so, because it should’ve just been it’s own post. So to all the waiting bees out there:
I know it’s hard. I know sometimes it feels like rejection. I know sometimes it feels like he will NEVER propose. It would be harsh to just say CHILL OUT (even though sometimes we ALL need that), so I’ll say this:
He loves you!! Don’t forget that. He is with you for a reason. You’re waiting for a reason–he wants to propose to you, marry you, and make lots and lots of babies with you. He would never have mentioned it if he didn’t.
Yes, the holidays can be especially hard. But, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It could very well mean that he just isn’t ready yet. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. I want to be a mother badly. But not right now. I’m not ready (hahhaahhaha soooo not ready). And when I’m ready, I know I’ll be a great mother! Operative words-when. I’m. ready. It sometimes hits me how enormous what we’re doing is. We’re promising to love and cherish each other forever. To care for each other. Comfort each other. Be there no matter what. When I become a wife I want to be good at my job! And I want my husband to be good at his, too. And that will come when we are both ready. And when we both are–he’ll buy a ring and ask the most important question of his life. And I want him to really want it. Not ask because he’s tired of me nagging or crying or huffing about wanting it to happen. I want to be the girl he fell in love with!
So, bees, be that girl. Be the girl he fell in love with. Enjoy every second with him, because each one is so precious. Be confident in your love. You should be–he chose you for a reason.
Post # 3
Great message HoneyBun, especially the part about being the girl he fell in love with. I need to keep this in mind when I hear myself start to nag and be annoying. And that’s when I’ll come here and vent to all the lovely bees instead!!
Post # 4
And don’t analyze everything he does and everything he says. Don’t become boderline obssessive…
Post # 5
This is so very true! Sometimes we just need to put things into perspective.
Post # 6
The waiting posts make me sad. I rarely read them for that reason. As much as I love DH, I would not have been devastated if he never asked me to marry him. It makes me sad to think a modern woman would think she has to get married in order to be happy. It makes me sad to think of all the time and energy spent being depressed and disappointed because the SO hasn’t proposed yet. It’s kind of like all the progress made by women over the past hundred years just got thrown out the window.
Now before someone jumps all over this post, please note that I am not saying anything about anybody. It’s just how I feel. And when someone is all elated because they have gotten the anxiously awaited proposal I am happy for them. It’s just that sometimes we spend so much time wanting something so badly that we forget to take pleasure in what we already have.
Post # 7
@bluespurrs: “It’s just that sometimes we spend so much time wanting something so badly that we forget to take pleasure in what we already have.”
I would definitely agree with that for sure. It seems people are constantly waiting for things. Waiting to finish high school, waiting to get a job, waiting to get married, waiting to have kids, ect ect instead of enjoying the stage they are now.
That said, marriage is important to me (especially as someone who is religious) so I certainly would not be content with never getting married. Personally, I think this whole thing could be solved if getting engaged was more of a joint decision that a couple makes together instead of the male deciding when it’s time and “surprising” her. Sure, it may be more romantic that way, but currently many women feel like they don’t have control over their own lives because their boyfriend gets to decide when they will take that next very important step, which would make many anxious I think.
Post # 8