Post # 1
Hi bees! I started poking around the hive this summer in the blissful “knowledge” that I would soon be engaged and wanting to get a head start on wedding planning. My wonderful BF started asking about my ring preferences last January, told me he had a ring in March, asked for my dad’s blessing in April, told all of our friends he would be proposing this summer, took me on a romantic trip to Europe in August, and still….NOTHING. As my frustration and anxiety has been mounting, I’ve switched from the planning boards to the waiting boards in hopes that some good company will make me feel better – and it does help to know I’m not alone.
But I’ve been getting progressively more frustrated the past few weeks, as the summer is now over, and he still is making no signs that he has a definite plan for proposing soon. He talks about our wedding all the time – with me and other friends – but seems blissfully content to plan our wedding without having actually proposed yet! I am getting to the end of my rope and having a really hard time keeping it to myself (getting snappy and overly-sensitive much of the time). I haven’t wanted to confront him directly though in the fear that if he is planning something soon I’ll spoil the surprise and put him on the defensive.
I am getting to the point though where I am so frustrated I’m having trouble acting normally around him. It has now been 9 months since we actively started discussing engagement, and he says he wants to get married next summer or fall. Do I ask him what the hold up is or just try to be patient and wait for the surprise that at some point will hopefully be coming? Please help!!
Post # 3
Well, thanks for commenting on my post. As you just read, I’m very open with my guy and I have trouble not telling him EVERYTHING. if I were you I wouldn’t be able to help asking him if he was still planning on proposing soon. Or you could just say nicely next time he talks about the wedding “I’m so excited to marry you, but I don’t like planning wedding details before we’re actually engaged” or something like that. Technically it is still summer until the 23rd of this month, so maybe wait another 2 weeks to bring it up?
Post # 4
This sounds exactly the way I was. I was told I would get my ring that spring and spring came and gone and I got my ring two months later. I just told him that I didn’t want to hear another work about wedding planning or our wedding until he actually put a ring on my finger. I’m sure if he is still actively talking about the wedding then he is still planning on proposing but something may have come up that could delay the actual proposal.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies! That is good advice. I’ll try to wait a little longer until we’re “technically” into fall, and in the meanwhile not having to talk planning all the time while looking at my poor naked little ring finger will definitely help!
Post # 6
I love PinkBubbleGums perspective! One thing I have learned is that guys are very perceptive, you may think that by not telling him whats bothering you that he doesnt know but we give off vibes. It’s all in how you present how you feel to him. I love the example
–“I feel so excited to marry you, I dont like making plans when we arent engaged and I have no ring. It makes me feel _______. I dont want to feel that way and impact our good times together. What do you think?”
Fill in the blank with how you feel….sad, angry, expectant, anxious… just be 100%honest. If it makes you feel angry then say angry. This communication tool has been a LIFE SAVER for me in my relationship. My guy just tunes right in when I say things this way and it gets a healthy conversation going about why we feel how we feel and what we can do to make things better. It has always brought us closer as well.
I hope this helps! Good luck with the party and keep us posted!