Post # 1
Since I am planning my own wedding, I’ve definitely gained perspective when it comes to invites. This has now made me question invites my FI and I have since received to other weddings. I can’t help but wonder:
Is this an obligatory invite ?
If we decline, will they be relieved or upset?
Would they think “what are they doing tonight that’s so important that they can’t come to our wedding?”
Or would they think “Gosh, i didnt think they’d actually accept!”
Don’t they have other friends they’d want to include over us?
Will this couple feel bad we arent inviting them to our wedding?
My FI was close to the bride and her family in high school (10 yrs ago) and remains close to her brother but we rarely see this couple now. My FI and I are STRUGGLING with which friends to include so we can keep the guest list to 120 while I’ve also managed to cut out 44 members of my own family.
Is anyone else thinking twice about accepting invites to other weddings? How did you make your decision?
Post # 3
We are actually going through this right now. We will be invited to a total of 7 weddings this year. Two of those weddings are on the same day so we have had to decide whose wedding to go to. It has not been an easy decision. At first we thought we would just go to whomevers wedding we received an invitation for first. But then the more we talked about it the more our decision became based solely on what we could afford. One wedding is local and the other would be very expensive and involve time off from work. It became an obvious choice. However those thoughts do go through my mind. Ive actually thought about telling the bride well in advance just so she can invite someone else in our place but at the same time I feel bad.
Post # 4
anyone else deal with this?
Post # 5
Not really. I look at it the same way. 1) Do I want to go? 2) Is it worth it for me to travel to the wedding? 3) Do I have something else scheduled on that day. Most invites I get are from close friends, so there is usually no question about if I want to go… it’s more expenses and timing. If I got invited to a random wedding, depending on the guest list (if I knew other people invited) I may or may not attend. But I figure, they invited me for some reason.. so I’m not going to second guess whether it’s a legit invite. In fact, I don’t think I invited anyone to my wedding is “obligatory”. Maybe my parents or FILs did… but not me.
Post # 6
I don’t get invited to that many weddings, well I have three in the next few months but I’ve never had like 6 or 7, so I guess I get excited when I”m invited and always want to go. I”m going to one tomorrow night actually! Fun:)
Post # 7
I guess one way that I evaluate it is whether it’s important to me that they’ll be at my wedding. 🙂 If not, I’d probably just decline (unless my FI really wanted to go.)
I have to skip 4 this year. 2 were destination weddings that were going to cost $2k for a 3 day weekend, 1 is double booked, and 1 is the weekend before my own wedding.
Post # 8
Are obligatory invites common? I wasn’t thinking in these terms until now… I mean, I did invite a few people because of the idea that “if invite this person, then I need to invite that person, too” (like two coworkers in the same office – I’m closer to one than the other), but I certainly hope that person isn’t wondering if I really want them there or not! When it comes down to it, I would not have sent the invite if I didn’t really want someone to be there.
Post # 9
I never thought about it until now. We don’t really get invited to a lot of weddings. Most of our friends are still single or are getting married after us and there hasn’t been a wedding in the family for a long time. I guess I’ll think about it now that you brought it up though….lol