Post # 1
My boyfriend and I are thinking of getting a place soon and setting down. We had some bumps in the road with him getting cold feet and dumping me twice but then wanting me back because he realized he was a idiot. His best friend on the other hand is a complete asshole and he has always hated me, and he’s awful to my ex friend because she loves him and wants to be friends with everyone and he tried to go out with her but won’t because she “won’t put out” is what he told my boyfriend. I told her this and she won’t accept what he thinks about her because she’s still madly in love with him even though he HAS a girlfriend now. He treats her like a dog and takes advantage of her sucking up to him so it angers me how he treats her and he tells my boyfriend he won’t “forgive me” until I say sorry to my ex friend because I just told her the truth but I can’t be her friend anymore because she’s fake and talked bad about me to him. So it’s BIG Soap Oprea xD He lives in Florida and I live in Mass. and he wants his friend to visit when he gets a place, but I REALLY hate him and he has always angered me and makes me feel uncomforable. As I hope my boyfriend/future husband finds BETTER mature friends I want to still comprise with him so he can see his best friend, but at the same time I won’t have to deal with him.
Post # 3
Wow. There’s drama flying all over the place here! You need to accept that your man will likely have friends you don’t like/agree with. What your friends do with his friends are NOT your problem … I’m assuming they are both adults. Don’t get involved. If they want you to just decline, if they don’t accept that, then move along.
As far as friends staying over when you and SO have a place, that’s between you and him. Personally I’m a private and hermit like person and DH knew this. He had friends crash at his place all the time, I never said anything, it was his place. But when we moved in and his random friend wanted to crash here he told him (I only heard the conversation because I’d just woken up) that “MrsTangerine isn’t as comfortable with people just crashing as I am.”. I don’t care if he threw me “under the bus” as some call it, cause it’s true.
Post # 5
As far as the drana goes, my advice – stay out of it. It’s none of your business.
As far as the friend goes, you need to accept that your SO will have friends you do not like. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but if I or SO had friends coming to visit from out of town I would welcome them into my home, regardless of how I felt about them. Perhaps to compromise, allow him to stay max 2 days, any longer and you would prefer he gets a hotel. And when the time comes that he actually visits, make yourself scarce, but of course phrase it that you just want to give the boys time on their own to catch up 🙂
Post # 6
@ms_protea: Thank you for the advice. I was just trying to help my friend to not get hurt again, but there’s nothing else I can do about it anyway.
Post # 7
@MrsTangerine: Thank for your advice. I was just trying to help my friend to not get hurt again, but there’s nothing else I can do about it anyway. In any case I’ll do my best to “kill him with kindness” when he does visit and just do my own thing.
Post # 8
@2lovinuyasha: I’m a big fan of kill them with kindness. It usually messes with their heads cause they can’t figure out why you’re being so nice after what they’ve done. :). My dad called it “Just grin and let them wonder what you’re up to”.
Post # 9
@MrsTangerine: +1, I like your style 😉
Post # 10
@2lovinuyasha: It will be your home too. You should not haveanyone in it you don’t want. You have to be fair and reasonable, of course, but so does your bf. perhaps you can set a time for him to visit when you could go away somewhere you’re wanting to go anyway, whether that’s your parents place, or Aruba.
Post # 11
@Duncan: I agree and I’m glad someone said this. When you get married, you are joining your lives together. You need to be in agreement about how you spend your time together. If my FI had friends I hated, I sure wouldn’t be socializing with them or pretending to like them (I don’t do fake very well). If he chose to go see them, that’s his choice but he better not try and force me.
Actually, we did have this issue and he chose to cut a lot of people off. We are both happy with the decision and our free time is a lot more peaceful now.