To be Husbands friends and I hate eachother

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow.  There’s drama flying all over the place here!  You need to accept that your man will likely have friends you don’t like/agree with.  What your friends do with his friends are NOT your problem … I’m assuming they are both adults.  Don’t get involved.  If they want you to just decline, if they don’t accept that, then move along.

As far as friends staying over when you and SO have a place, that’s between you and him.  Personally I’m a private and hermit like person and DH knew this.  He had friends crash at his place all the time, I never said anything, it was his place.  But when we moved in and his random friend wanted to crash here he told him (I only heard the conversation because I’d just woken up) that “MrsTangerine isn’t as comfortable with people just crashing as I am.”.  I don’t care if he threw me “under the bus” as some call it, cause it’s true.

Post # 5
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

As far as the drana goes, my advice – stay out of it. It’s none of your business.

As far as the friend goes, you need to accept that your SO will have friends you do not like. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but if I or SO had friends coming to visit from out of town I would welcome them into my home, regardless of how I felt about them. Perhaps to compromise, allow him to stay max 2 days, any longer and you would prefer he gets a hotel. And when the time comes that he actually visits, make yourself scarce, but of course phrase it that you just want to give the boys time on their own to catch up 🙂 

Post # 8
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@2lovinuyasha:  I’m a big fan of kill them with kindness.  It usually messes with their heads cause they can’t figure out why you’re being so nice after what they’ve done. :).  My dad called it “Just grin and let them wonder what you’re up to”.

Post # 10
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@2lovinuyasha:  It will be your home too.  You should not haveanyone in it you don’t want. You have to be fair and reasonable, of course, but so does your bf.  perhaps you can set a time for him to visit when you could go away somewhere you’re wanting to go anyway, whether that’s your parents place, or Aruba.

Post # 11
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Duncan:  I agree and I’m glad someone said this. When you get married, you are joining your lives together. You need to be in agreement about how you spend your time together. If my FI had friends I hated, I sure wouldn’t be socializing with them or pretending to like them (I don’t do fake very well). If he chose to go see them, that’s his choice but he better not try and force me.

Actually, we did have this issue and he chose to cut a lot of people off. We are both happy with the decision and our free time is a lot more peaceful now.

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