Post # 1
Ok, so here’s my dilemma. I have my two closets friends. One, we’ve been friends since we were 8 (Friend A) and the other since 9th grade (Friend B). I was the maid of honor for Friend B and now that I’m planning my wedding, I feel like I HAVE to ask Friend B to be my Matron of Honor since I was hers. Although, I really want Friend A, who I consider more of a sister than a friend, to be my Matron on honor. How do I choose? Friend B is overly sensitive and I feel like she thinks she should be mines since I was hers but at the same time, Friend A and I have always said we’d be each others. Another thing, Friend B can be a little bossy and controlling at times BUT she’s very organized, resourceful and can make ANYBODY’s budget work and she’s a good friend no matter what. Friend A on the other hand can be a little fickle at times and sometimes unreliable…any suggestions???
SN* Friend A was married at the courthouse so she didn’t have a wedding.
Post # 3
Can you have both?
I have 2 maids of honor… 2 childhood friends that I couldn’t bear to choose between!
If you don’t want both, I say go with the person you really want to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. Would you still ask Friend B to be a bridesmaid instead? I am not expecting either of my MOHs to ask me to be their MOHs, just being a bridesmaid will be good enough for me! 🙂
Post # 4
I’ve never understood why people expect to be a persons Maid/Matron of Honor just bc they were one in their wedding. But, it is what it is.
I say have both. My Maid/Matron of Honor is having both (since her and I are “sisters” and she has a real sister) So, she’s doing both because she couldn’t imagine having either one of us not it. And we’re both happy to share the fun!!!!
But, if you’re only looking for one … then I would sit down with Friend B and have a talk with her. Inform her (genuinly) that you feel horrible bc you were her Maid/Matron of Honor, but you have a friend that you made a promise to a long time ago. However, you couldn’t picture having your wedding without her and you’d like her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (but the most important one of all). 😉
Post # 5
Thanks Tina…I was thinking about that, but I think Friend B would be a little offended if I did that. But then again, she really wouldn’t like being a bridesmaid….ugh…I wish this was easier!!! 🙂
Post # 6
Wait you think she would be offended if you had 2 MOHs?? She needs to step off her high horse if she gets offended over that! 😉
Post # 7
@QtPyK: I would definitely go with both. I hate it when people use this phrase, but it is your wedding, and I know friendship must mean a lot to you, but in order to really keep the peace and make yourself happy, I would go with both.
Post # 8
I don’t think you should feel obligated to have friend B as your Maid/Matron of Honor just b/c you were hers. However, if you really feel as if you can’t choose, and have been friends with both since childhood, why not choose both.
Post # 9
Ha ha, I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a friend’s wedding and she always said she wanted to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding and I always told her, ‘Nope, I have two sisters, I need two BM’s so you won’t be one’ (of course much nicer). When I set my date, she brought it up again, I almost snapped this time. Hello? I don’t get folks sometimes.
Post # 10
I would either go with the one you really want or go with both. Im having my best friend and my lil sis as my MOH’s
Post # 11
Someone may be offended regardless of whether you have 1 or both. At the end of the day, choose whoever you want and if this means both, choose both. True friends will understand.
Post # 12
I think it sounds like Friend A. I am learning the hard way that giving someone a position in the wedding party just because you are afraid not to doesn’t work out well (I know, duh). If you have to worry about the fall-out, is that really what you want out of a MOH? I know my Maid/Matron of Honor has a sister she is super close with, so I know for sure she won’t be reciprocating, which is beyond fine. Ask the person you want- I’m not big on the whole it is all about the bride- but in this case it really is about you!