Post # 1
Short: Should I stay on Wedding Bee as a active member? Or give it up because I just keep getting my hopes up?
Long: I stocked Wedding Bee a while back and decided to become a member so I could vote on polls. That led to becoming a active poster with my ideas and opinions. A couple of months ago my bf and I had a long talk that ended in tears, we were not getting engaged anytime soon. “Wedding Planning” was my only ray of hope for so long…I felt all of my hope was taken away from me. So immediately I stopped voting, posting, even looking at Wedding Bee. This went on for about a month. Then I would quetly look while the bf wasn’t round, which then led to voting, then little by little I would surf the Bee in front of bf. I still refuse to post opinions and ideas though, I guess it makes me feel like a less active member. I ask him if he minds, and he doesn’t. He says he never did. We even talk about our one day wedding! He ask about rings and gives ideas for venues. So now My hopes are up again.
Post # 3
I’d say that in your case, it might be best to step away altogether for a while, especially if your hopes were totally crushed once. It’s good to have other “rays of hope” than planning a wedding when you don’t even know when you’ll be engaged, imo.
Post # 4
If it is too difficult for you being on here and being surrounded by weddings, I would say you really have two choices. Either keep yourself in the Waiting forums ONLY or leave for now. I don’t really ever want anybody to leave but if it is too difficult for you to be here, it might be the best option. So long as you come back once you really can wedding plan!!!
Post # 5
I mean, it’s all about your personal comfort level. If you’re not really enjoying yourself and waiting is stressing you out, definitely back off from the Bee. But only you know that.
If I’m being honest, all the pre-engagement threads say “Waiting” but all I see is “Self Inflicted Torture.” I imagine it’s much more fun to start planning a wedding once you’re engaged. But that’s just me.
Post # 6
I honestly don’t see a problem with it. I did the same thing for about a month before I got engaged. The only downside is that the more time you spend on here, the easier it is to get your hopes up. The wedding planning fever is highly contagious on this website. lol. Although, it is still a great way to get plenty of ideas for any up coming wedding stuff. So I say go ahead and be an active member, just remember not to get your hopes up and to stay realistic about the timeline you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend have set for your relatonship. Plus, there is plenty of non-wedding stuff on this site you can have fun with!!
Post # 7
I don’t see a problem with you frequenting the boards or even stating your opinion on things, but I think you need to be careful not to let yourself confuse your life and circumstances with others that you can relate to. Does that make sense? There are plenty of waiting bees that have awesome advice and opinions on things, wedding related or not. If it is causing an issue for you, then I’d back off or maybe just stick to “safe” topics. I mean, you seem to logically realize that you aren’t planning your wedding yet, but I don’t see what the problem would be in stating your opinion on another’s wedding choices. Maybe you could stick to Waiting and Not Wedding Related subjects if that helps you feel better?
Post # 8
If it makes you happy pleaes stay and read and post.
Post # 9
I think if you enjoy it and it won’t harm your relationship you should stay. it’s a great way to talk to people about how you are feeling, especially us waiting bees. and you can get tons of ideas for a future wedding and have plenty of time to change everything if you get bored.
Post # 10
I hate to lose a WB member, but in my opinion, you should leave WB all together until it gets closer time to get engaged. I only say this because of personal experience… when I was waiting I would look at wedding websites and get so depressed about it (and I knew exactly when I was getting engaged!!!). It just cause me more problems so I decided to forego any websites until the moment happened. At first I just limited myself to looking at wedding websites maybe 2x per month. But eventually had to stop it all together.
Have you considered limiting yourself like I did… maybe go on WB twice a month so you can still get your fix, but not be surrounded by it?
Post # 11
If you want to stay, stay. if it makes you sad, don’t. I don’t see the harm in it. I think interest in weddings ebb and flow though. I know it does for me and our relationship is great.
I see women posting in babies who are not even close to TTC or pregnant…same thing to me. (I’m a pregnant lady, so I’m not just a lurker there.lol)
Post # 12
Oh man, I know. I wonder the same thing sometimes but I am weak like a moth! The toughest part is, so many ladies who are waiting are so much closer – 6 months, 2 months, they went ring shopping, he has the ring, etc. and that is totally awesome! But it makes my “one or two years” feel so far away. Booo. Yet here I am. 🙂
Post # 13
I am of the opinion that anyone that wants to post, should regardless of their relationship status.
Post # 15
Thank you everyone for your opinions! I guess I will probably postt from time to time…I really do have some amazing ideas I’d love to share!