Post # 1
So if you’ve seen my posts, you know I just got engaged on Monday. It’s a big deal for me! However..I’m a private person. So when I went to work, I told the coworkers that I knew cared (they were all so excited and loved the ring) and that was it. I’m not one for a lot of attention, I’m outgoing to the friends I do have and that’s it. My assistant thinks I’m being too quiet about it. I told her we probably won’t post it to facebook and we’re just going to let it go. It’s my engagement and I’m not planning on making a huge deal about it. I don’t want to be the bride you see everywhere who’s sole purpose in life is to tell everyone she’s ever met that she’s engaged!! And on a different note, I feel awkward when coworkers who I’ve talked to, but don’t really know on a personal level come up and start asking questions about the wedding. A friend of mine said that I should tell them since they’re interested, I don’t really know how to react.
Again, my assistant thinks that I need to brag a little and that I’m too uptight. I think it’s my engagement and I can do what I want and how I want to do it. I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with this man, but I don’t feel the need to scream it from a rooftop! What do you guys think? How are you handling the attention? Should I be a little more outgoing with the details of the wedding and do these people really care? I don’t want to start telling people about the wedding if it’s going to get annoying.
Sorry for the rant…Thanks for some advice 🙂 🙂 🙂
Post # 2
This is an exciting time in your life, and I think people like to hear about it- to a certain extent. I see nothing wrong with bringing it up, you should be proud and happy! You found someone to love for the rest of your life and who loves you just as much. Enjoy the attention, because after this you’re married and people don’t care lol
Post # 3
you should handle it your way. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
you are going to be inundated with tons of opinions and “I think you should do it this way. . ” as you plan your wedding. Stay true to yourself.
Post # 4
I guess I’ve just seen those brides who volunteer information about the wedding or about her ring or fiance where it wasn’t asked for and didn’t even make sense to bring up. I don’t want to be that bride! It’s not just about me, it’s about him too and I don’t want people to think I’m selfish or rude. I want to know what the appropriate amount of attention is..
I need a 1 to 10 scale lol 1 being ‘We eloped, totally low key! No one knows’ to 10 being ‘look out here comes bridezilla’ haha
Post # 5
It’s your engagement, your life, your ring. If you don’t want to make a big deal then don’t, tell your assistant to stick her head where the sun don’t shine, calling you uptight for not wanting to tell everyone, that’s ridiculous. When I got engaged, i told everyone, but everyone has a right to handle their engagement as they like, don’t do abything you don’t want to.
Post # 6
I handled it similar to you. People at my office made more of a fuss than I did.
I’m not comfortable being the center of attention and didn’t talk to anyone about the wedding unless they directly asked me. I also don’t think becoming engaged is a huge accomplishment to be running around a professional setting bragging about. I think you’re handling it just fine, enjoy yourself and celebrate as your see fit.
Post # 7
acglandorf: its personal preference say as much or as little as you are comfortable with
Post # 8
I’m actually not telling anyone we’re engaged except our immediate family and a couple of really close friends. The wedding is a surprise with just immediate family so no real need to tell anyone before hand. We have our reasons for doing this and a lot of it stems from not wanting to discuss our plans with others….particularly random strangers. We had similar concerns to the ones you voiced and this decision was the best option for us to deal with that.
I say do what you feel is right. If you only want to tell close family and friends then do that if you want to tell the whole world via Facebook then have at ‘er.
Post # 9
acglandorf: we’ve been engaged for a year and a half and we still haven’t changed our Facebook status. I probably will only change it after we’re married. But once you know FI and I, this isn’t surprising at all, because we’re both very discreet about our private life. Our families know we’re engaged, but they’ve learned it through word of mouth (from our parents, mostly). I think you should not go out of your way to announce it if it’s not who you are. I personally don’t care that much for other people’s engagements, weddings and babies, unless they’re a very close friend of mine.
Post # 10
I only told close family ..no social media no newspaper ads etc..but if anybody saw the or heard through family i would tell them…i was very happy to b engaged but felt no desire to shout it from the rooftops…my sister is the complete opposite ..even the lady 2 streets over and a long distance cousian know all her wedding details ..but thats just her way and i could not be happier for her and her man
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
You are entitled to carry your life, events announcements included, as you see fit. Others opinions, unless you ask for them, shouldn’t be relevant.
Post # 12
It’s not really about “bragging vs. not bragging.” No one should ever brag about their engagement or wedding to others. It’s rude and annoying. But, that being said, there’s a huge difference between “bragging” and volunteering info about the engagement/wedding plans when asked.
That you don’t like sharing details with others is fine, but if someone does choose to share details, it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily bragging.
Post # 13
acglandorf: I just answered questions from coworkers when asked. I didnt go around bringing it up but if people asked me how the wedding planning was going I would say ” its going well! we are getting close!” and leave it at that. The more vague you are the shorter the conversation.
Trust me they will likely not care too much in a few weeks they are all just happy for you now. Itll blow over soon
Post # 14
It might not be bragging I agree, but I think it’s still relevant to discuss ostentation as a mean of expressing authenticity. The assistant’s reaction doesn’t surprise me, I know many people who, just like her, believe the more you truly care about something, the more you should be talking about it. Being ostentatious about your wonderful SO all over social media = people will realize how much you truly love him. People who believe this also expect others to react the same way and if you don’t, they question your deeper motivations : ”hey, if you’re so deeply in love and excited about marrying your wonderful SO, shouldn’t you be bragging about it a bit more ? Why, is it because you’re prude/uptight/immature ..?”
Yep, it’s weird, but it’s happening. We all know people like that.
Post # 15
NauticalDisaster: I’m the opposite, the more I see someone bragging, the more I think they’re trying to overcompansate. I always think that the happiest people are low key about their happiness.