To brag or not to brag?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

This is an exciting time in your life, and I think people like to hear about it- to a certain extent.  I see nothing wrong with bringing it up, you should be proud and happy! You found someone to love for the rest of your life and who loves you just as much.  Enjoy the attention, because after this you’re married and people don’t care lol

Post # 3
Member
5032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

you should handle it your way.  Whatever makes you feel comfortable.

you are going to be inundated with tons of opinions and “I think you should do it this way. . ” as you plan your wedding.  Stay true to yourself.  

Post # 5
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It’s your engagement, your life, your ring. If you don’t want to make a big deal then don’t, tell your assistant to stick her head where the sun don’t shine, calling you uptight for not wanting to tell everyone, that’s ridiculous. When I got engaged, i told everyone, but everyone has a right to handle their engagement as they like, don’t do abything you don’t want to.

Post # 6
Member
4634 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I handled it similar to you. People at my office made more of a fuss than I did.

I’m not comfortable being the center of attention and didn’t talk to anyone about the wedding unless they directly asked me. I also don’t think becoming engaged is a huge accomplishment to be running around a professional setting bragging about. I think you’re handling it just fine, enjoy yourself and celebrate as your see fit.

Congratulations!

Post # 7
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

acglandorf:  its personal preference say as much or as little as you are comfortable with

Post # 8
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m actually not telling anyone we’re engaged except our immediate family and a couple of really close friends. The wedding is a surprise with just immediate family so no real need to tell anyone before hand. We have our reasons for doing this and a lot of it stems from not wanting to discuss our plans with others….particularly random strangers. We had similar concerns to the ones you voiced and this decision was the best option for us to deal with that.

I say do what you feel is right. If you only want to tell close family and friends then do that if you want to tell the whole world via Facebook then have at ‘er. 

Post # 9
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

acglandorf:  we’ve been engaged for a year and a half and we still haven’t changed our Facebook status. I probably will only change it after we’re married. But once you know FI and I, this isn’t surprising at all, because we’re both very discreet about our private life. Our families know we’re engaged, but they’ve learned it through word of mouth (from our parents, mostly).  I think you should not go out of your way to announce it if it’s not who you are. I personally don’t care that much for other people’s engagements, weddings and babies, unless they’re a very close friend of mine. 

Post # 10
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

I only told close family ..no social media no newspaper ads etc..but if anybody saw the or heard through family i would tell them…i was very happy to b engaged but felt no desire to shout it from the rooftops…my sister is the complete opposite ..even the lady 2 streets over and a long distance cousian know all her wedding details ..but thats just her way and i could not be happier for her and her man

Post # 11
Member
5149 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

You are entitled to carry your life, events announcements included, as you see fit.  Others opinions, unless you ask for them, shouldn’t be relevant.

Post # 12
Member
6356 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s not really about “bragging vs. not bragging.” No one should ever brag about their engagement or wedding to others. It’s rude and annoying. But, that being said, there’s a huge difference between “bragging” and volunteering info about the engagement/wedding plans when asked.

That you don’t like sharing details with others is fine, but if someone does choose to share details, it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily bragging. 

Post # 13
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

acglandorf:  I just answered questions from coworkers when asked. I didnt go around bringing it up but if people asked me how the wedding planning was going I would say ” its going well! we are getting close!” and leave it at that. The more vague you are the shorter the conversation.

Trust me they will likely not care too much in a few weeks they are all just happy for you now. Itll blow over soon

Post # 14
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

It might not be bragging I agree, but I think it’s still relevant to discuss ostentation as a mean of expressing authenticity. The assistant’s reaction doesn’t surprise me, I know many people who, just like her, believe the more you truly care about something, the more you should be talking about it. Being ostentatious about your wonderful SO all over social media = people will realize how much you truly love him. People who believe this also expect others to react the same way and if you don’t, they question your deeper motivations : ”hey, if you’re so deeply in love and excited about marrying your wonderful SO, shouldn’t you be bragging about it a bit more ? Why, is it because you’re prude/uptight/immature ..?”

Yep, it’s weird, but it’s happening. We all know people like that.

Post # 15
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

NauticalDisaster:  I’m the opposite, the more I see someone bragging, the more I think they’re trying to overcompansate.  I always think that the happiest people are low key about their happiness.  

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