@fingerscrossed: Do you feel insecure in the relationship without a ring or a wedding certificate? Like – if he proposed, would you feel secure in the direction that it was going? Or would it be enough for him to just say that he wants to marry you, but isn’t ready to propose just yet? Is the issue only that he’s not discussing the future? Or is the issue that he won’t get you a ring?
Now, you guys haven’t really been dating that long. I don’t think that a year is necessarily long enough for everyone to know whether they want to be with that person forever or not. I think it really depends on the person and the relationship. But, if you feel like in your relationship, it has been long enough for him to know where he sees the relationship going, then you know your relationship better than anyone else.
Personally, I wouldn’t take a break. I’m either in it or out. I don’t believe breaks help anything. I would have a talk with him and it would go something like this:
I see a future with you. If you see one with me, I need to know it. If you don’t, I need to know that, too. I need to know where you see this is heading. Where do you see this relationship heading? Where do you see yourself in the next few years? Where do you see us in the next few years? .. etc.
Then, if he can’t discuss the future with you, I would say something like this:
Since you can’t give me an answer, I need to do what’s best until you have an answer, which is leave you to figure things out for yourself. If you come back and decide that you do see a future with me, maybe I’ll still be around and maybe we’ll get back together. But, maybe I won’t be. I’m not going to promise anything because I don’t know what will happen. I can’t sit around here and wait for you to make up your mind about whether or not you want to be with me. When you figure it out, let me know. If we were meant to be, then when you figure it out, we’ll be. And if we weren’t meant to be, then when you figure it out, it’ll have been too late.
And that’s that. If you want an answer about where you see the relationship is going, then he should be able to give that to you. And if he can’t, then you need to break up with him and move on. If he comes back to you and at that point you still want to be with him, that’s another story. But in the meantime, don’t wait around for him. If you break up with him because he can’t discuss the relationship with you like a mature adult, then that’s it – cut off all ties and move on until he comes around, if he ever does. Don’t wait. If you find someone else, date them.
That’s my advice.