Post # 1
We’re having a home wedding for about 65-75 people. Many will be coming from out of town. How important is it to host a brunch the next morning? I would prefer not to – it seems like there’s nothing in between “divey diner” and “too expensive” around here for brunch. But my mom thinks it would be inhospitable not to have one. What do you think? Did you/will you host a post-wedding brunch?
Post # 3
Why doesn’t your mother host it if it means that much? My future mother in law expects one, that’s too bad b/c I’m not paying for one and hopefully will be gone before it (honeymoon). I think my FMIL will be paying for one.
EDIT: It’s kind of harsh sounding, but really unless your parents are contributing to your wedding in a big way, then I’d request them to host it.
Post # 4
I don’t really see the point in one. If I know my guests, the last thing they’re going to want to do is get up in the morning and meet with the same people they just spent too much time drinking with the night before! Weddings are exhausting… I wouldn’t want to drag them to another meal when it’s likely people want to unwind, relax and get ready to head back home or to work!
I certainly don’t want to be near anyone other than my husband and room service until I’m back from the honeymoon!! Lol!
Post # 5
my in-laws hosted ours. but if they hadn’t, my aunt and mom’s best friends were going to. it’s tradition in my extended family, mostly because we’re all really spread out across the country, so events are always weekend-long food-fests
edit to clarify though–our brunch was only for immediate family, bridal party, and out of towners, so about half the size of the total guest list…
Post # 6
People in my area don’t really do the brunch after a wedding thing, but I’ve read that a lot of people actually host them at their parents’ house, so I would totally ask her to host it since she’s the one that wants it!
Post # 7
We did not have a brunch. We left immediately from the reception for our honeymoon. No one seemed to mind. However, we did let our OOT guests know that there would be nothing of that nature so that they could keep that in mind when making travel plans for their return trip. We used the rehearsal dinner as our time to catch up with OOT guests.
Post # 8
Sorry, I should have made clear – she will already be hosting the wedding the night before, so she adamantly doesn’t want to host brunch at her house the next day. Also, all the parents are substantially contributing to the wedding, which is incredibly generous of them. So it wouldn’t really be coming out of our pocket anyway.
However, I’m already uncomfortable with spending as much as we are (approx. $10,000), and I’m just not sure that this brunch would be a good use of that money. Do people expect it? Enjoy it? I just don’t know.
Post # 9
My MIL hosted our day after brunch at her house. SHe had a lot of fruit, bagels, pastries, veggies to dip, hummus, bread, etc,etc. ANd of course MIMOSAS! I loved our brunch because it was a great opportunity to spend even more time with our guests. We were able to reminisce about the wedding night and say goodbye to people as well. It was also good because during the wedding itself I didnt feel as much pressure to spend as much time talking to people because I knew I would be seeing them the next day. It was very relaxing and people were coming and going for a few hours until it dwindled down to just immediate family. I am so happy we did it!
Post # 10
@mightywombat: My family loves being around each other and prolonging the event but I wouldn’t think anything negative if you didn’t have one (I probably wouldn’t think about it anyways).
How about a small brunch at the hotel where your guests are staying?
Post # 11
Our venue has a HUGE buffet breakfast every morning for all of their guests so that what we’ll be doing. We wont have a separate room or anything but I will try to request a few banquet tables be reserved for us. My FBIL & FSIL had a brunch the morning after their wedding and I thought it was nice, however theirs was not included in the room cost and ended up costing her parents a small fortune. If we had to pay for it ourselves, we probably wouldn’t do it.
Post # 12
I encouraged my mom to consider doing one, since I think it’s a great tradition when you have a lot of people in from out of town. But I didn’t push it since my husband and I would be on a plane by then anyway so we wouldn’t be involved. I thought at the least, they could designate a restaurant that everyone still in town could get together at, and just pay their own way, but enjoy socializing together before leaving town. It didn’t end up happening; my mom was too overwhelmed with everything else going on that weekend, and also I think she also thought that if they did a brunch then my parents really ought to foot the entire bill, and that wasn’t going to happen on top of what they already paid for the wedding.
As it turned out, most of my relatives left too early in the morning to have attended a brunch, and most of my friends were too hung over to have gotten up for one, so it was just as well that there wasn’t one!
Post # 13
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the range of experiences!
Post # 14
It’s a great idea if you can provide one. But as a guest, I have never seen this done, nor was I ever offended that nothing of the sort was offered. It is perfectly ok to skip it and people do all the time, if they have even heard of it in the first place, as many have not. If your mother is adament that a brunch be provided, she needs to finance it.
Post # 15
I’d love to have some more time to spend with our family and friends that are in town, but really, the last thing I want to do on the morning after my wedding is get up early. And I’d feel bad if there was a brunch and we didn’t go to it.
Post # 16
We had a day-after brunch but we did not host it. Our upstairs neighbors (the husband was a groomsman) offered to host a brunch as our wedding gift. When they got married years ago, her parents hosted a brunch and they really appreciated the opportunity to spend more time with their guests. As did we – it was absolutely our best gift.