To change my last name or not to?

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 3
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You could do what I’m doing and also list it on your resume.

I’m going to be Crystal M. M. H_______

First, Middle, Madien and FI last name 😀

I see nothing wrong with that and having all of them.

Post # 4
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m changing mine.  My last name is always mispronounced and mispelled (it’s very close to a very common name).  My FIs is much better.  Plus anything I can do to distance myself from my family I’ll gladly embrace.

Post # 5
94 posts
Worker bee

so you’re a seamstress who’s surname is Button? Or a brewer who’s surname is Beer? Or a butcher who’s surname is Lamb? That’s too cool to lose. Do the name change legally/socially? Use your maiden professionally? Prob best to keep your maiden name as part of your legal name as per PP if you do that though. 

Post # 6
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I like the idea of a fresh start …. i to don’t speak with my fahter I am lucky my mother gave me her name… if i had hsi name i prob have changed it years ago 

Its nice to take his name to it shows you as a family and will leave no questions or complications (passports and traveling) once you have kids … not that ur doing that now or even planning to but if you are if one of you has a different name travel will be more complicated it saves alot of stress later on 

 I mean i will miss being a B i am always at teh top of the list, and I do like how my name now sounds … that being said i am looking forward to us being a family and being a couple plus i know its a lil old fashion but he prob be given a hard time by the guys if you dont 

Post # 7
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cindalu:  Don’t change it.  Keep your awesome name and go by the other socially.  No one has to know what you actually did.

My MIL asks me everytime wether I’m changing my name or not.  I don’t see how it is her or anyone else’s business.  Especially laughable on her part since she has not been married to FI’s father in years and has since remarried.  

Your still a family even if you don’t change it and god forbid if you divorce you won’t have to keep his name as your work name (like Tina Turner who was abused!)

Post # 8
6784 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@cindalu:  I’m going through this same thing bc I’m starting to publish a lot in my field. My maiden name will be on my first few publications. When I get married I’m going to do First Maiden Husband on my papers for a few years, and then eventually go to First Husband so there is a paper trail and people can identify me in the field. When people refer to me it will be by Mrs./Dr. Husband’s Last Name (hence FutureDrAtkins lol). So I’ll use his name for everything personal and anything business will have both names for awhile until I kind of…fade my maiden name out gradually I guess?

Post # 9
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not changing my name.  I have had my name for 30+ years and I do not feel like changing it. 

My Fiance is completely cool with the idea.

I am aware that people will probably refer to me as Mrs. ___ ____ and I am fine with it.


Post # 10
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@cindalu:  I know many more women are keeping their maiden names now a days, but IMO I don’t see why. I get it, if you have a cool last name, or its just easier. But you are getting married. Why would you not want to be associated with your husband? And then when you have kids – theres so many long a** names out there now, I feel bad for the kids. It doesnt make sense to me when it comes down to it.. and I really cant imagine the husband really being OK with that – its kinda like a stab to them I feel. But again, its just my opinion.

I do agree with the other idea about changing it legally/socially and using your maiden name professionally, if it really means that much to you

Post # 11
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m know in my field so I’m using both my names at the moment. I’ll eventually drop my maiden name altogether. My DH and I like having the same name.

Post # 12
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cindalu:  you could use your maiden name in your professional life and your married name socially.  i know of people who do this.

if change your name to jane unique plain

unique being the maiden name, and plain being the married name.

professionally, people who have always called you jane unique can continue to do so.  but if someone addresses you are jane unique, jane plain, or jane unique plain then all are acceptable.


Post # 13
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am not changing my name.  There are very few people in the world with my last name and I really love that.  My FI was annoyed at first, but he got over it.  

Post # 14
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would say, don’t listen to our opinions on this! Everyone chooses to change or keep their names for different reasons. For some, family unity is the most important and they change it (or better, the husband and wife BOTH hyphenate or change so that both parties are sacrificing equally). For others, keeping your identity and individuality is the most important, and there is no reason to change your name. For some (like me) there are all kinds of complicated issues to consider. I always wanted to keep my name (why should I change if hubby doesn’t have to?) but then when I got engaged I decided I’d rather share a name than keep mine. And although I’d created a high-level career in my maiden name, for various reasons my married name kind of works better for my career. I still feel uncomfortable about certain aspects of changing my name, but I feel good about my choice overall. I’m going to keep my maiden name as my middle name and take his last, so I can still choose to use both names if and when I feel like it. For me, it was a good compromise, but it came with a LOT of thought. I didn’t find other people’s opinions helpful, although I read and asked around a lot. It was a tough decision, but I was glad I took the time to really think about it and come to my own decision. I’m glad we have the option to choose.

Post # 15
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I just always felt “Mrs. My-maiden-name” was my mother, so yes, I had always planned to change it. I also hated that name. So odd. I’m not crazy about my husband’s, but it is what it is. 

Post # 16
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m changing my name. I have a boring last name. and I want to share the same last name and FH and our baby on the way!

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