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Honestly, just hyphenate. It's the only way that you both are going to end up being okay with the situation. I feel like, if you keep your maiden name totally, he's going to be angry and resentful and if you totally drop your maiden name, you're going to end up angry and resentful.
Compromise is a very huge part of marriage. He better get used to it now.
I'm all for hyphenating, I think our names sound lovely together...
After further talks he has told me that he doesn't like the Mrs. Myname-Hisname hyphenation becasuse he doesn't like the fact that my second name is still present.. geezz, it's not like he's got to have it! he'll still be Mr. Hisname!
But he told me to do what I want and that he might come round to it in the end.. which I suppose is best outcome I'll get out of this
Thanks for your help zippylef :D
I realize this is a couple weeks old, but I am in the exact same situation (and am scouring the boards for advice about it).
I am probably going to keep my last name, as I wouldn't want to look like someone who has zero publications when I go out looking for a postdoctoral fellowship, or have to write to everyone with this disclaimer about how I just got married so my publications are under a different name. I'd rather not have to give out that much personal information in a cover letter, you know? And of course if anyone didn't have my CV in hand, they'd never find what I published before namechange.
Thankfully my fiance is supportive of whatever I want to do. I think it would be very hard if he weren't. I feel for you.
One last thing to consider: many people end up not studying the same thing they did in grad school. I'm in science so it may be way different in other fields, but this is what I understand. I know I plan to leave my field somewhat while just hanging onto the skills and techniques I got from it. So down the road, it may not matter that my grad school publications in X-field don't show up because now I'm in Y-field, and my colleagues in Y-field wouldn't even read the papers about X. It may make it a little trickier in the early years of fellowshop/faculty/whatever applications when it only looks like you published half as much as you actually have, but years down the road, it may not have an effect.
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Hello bees,
So I'm getting married next year and last night I was thinking about my second name and what should I do about it....
My other half wants me to take his name but I want to keep mine. I'm coming up to the end of my PhD, I've been working my butt off for the past 6 years to get to this point and I'll have papers published under my name. I want to keep it so it's easier to track my career basically. Also, I feel about apprehensive about losing my name.
I explained this to him and then I said to him I'll have a double barrelled name as a comprimise so I'd be Mrs. Myname-Hisname. I still don't think he's too keen on the idea. He said to me that he has no choice in the matter and whatever I want to do I'm going to do it anyway.
Now, I feel super guilty for not wanting to take his name fully. Not sure what to do now, do I make him happy and take his name fully or do I go down the double barrelled route... Any ideas ladies?