to change or not to change

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@MackieBleu:  you can both change your last names to a combination of the two (Johnson and Sheffield become Mr and Mrs Scheffson), or you can move your maiden name to you middle name (Hillary Rodham Clinton).

My mom and most of the women I have in my life kept their maiden names both professionally and legally. My mom has never had a problem picking us up from school or driving us across the US-Canada border. I didn’t even realize women overwhelmingly changed their names until I came on the bee. 

If you feel so strongly, I would keep your name. You can change anytime in the future.

Post # 4
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@MackieBleu:  I am a major advocate of the formal, traditional US name change of first, maidenasnewmiddle, hislast.  In doing this, you can easily maintain a continuity of your identity, use your maiden name as part of your name anytime and every time you want to, and still have a common last name. I did this type of name change, and I could not be happier with it!

Post # 5
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I battle this often too. I want to have his last name, but I really cherish my last name. Also, if I change my name, I will have the same first and last name as my mother in law. I kid you not.

No matter what I decide on, my kids will have his name.

I really agree with @letigre: on this: If you feel so strongly, I would keep your name. You can change anytime in the future.

You can keep your name for now, and see how you feel later on. 

 


 

Post # 7
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@MackieBleu:  I am also graduating in May, and I would leave my maiden name on my diploma if I were in your situation. I don’t have a concrete answer as to why, but I think it makes sense. 

Post # 8
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

i think you need to find out why it is so important to your FH that it makes him upset to think about you NOT doing it. he’s not the one having to make a significant change so what gives him the right to impose his views on you? 

 

The idea of grief/hassle in retaining your name upon marriage is just….nonsense. I grew up in a family with parents who had different names. It was never ever an issue and we did travel overseas as a family too. 

Post # 9
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@MackieBleu:  where will you be living abroad? My family is European and none of my cousins/aunts abroad have changed their names. It’a actually not as common there, with the exception of the UK.

Post # 10
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s entirely up to you. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure your husband will be okay with it.

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