Post # 1
Ok ladies, I have read countless articles discussing proper wedding ettiquette, however, I need to know ONE thing. My FI and I have registered to 3 different locations. I really wanted only 2 stores but there really wasn’t anyway around it. So we narrowed it down to: Target, Bed Bath and Beyond (BTW, what really defines “beyond”) and my favorite Crate and Barrel. Now, I am creating all paper goods, so that means the invitations. Now here is the big question…..
who all is putting where the bride and groom are registered in the invites?
Etiquette says it’s a big no-no and you should only put registry info in the shower invitations or online or word of mouth. But I am worried that not everyone (hello, your crazy aunt and uncle who live far away) will know where we are registered.
Don’t think I haven’t thought of creative ways to tell people. One option I thought of was, placing our website info on the invite or back of the invite, but that only caters to those who are computer savvy. Another is word of mouth, but those crazy aunts and uncles mentioned above may not speak to people on a daily basis. then the other is to just say, forget the ettiquette and put the info in the invite.
So who is do this and who isn’t and what are your thoughts??
Thanks ladies, I appreciate your advice/opinions in advance!
Post # 3
sorry, but it’s a definite no. Are you having a shower? It is ok to include registry information in the shower invitations.
Post # 4
All the wedding invites I’ve ever received included that little card that said, “Bride & Groom registered at _________.” I’ve heard about this rule and never really understood it. I guess your can personalize each invite and only include the little card in those invites going to the crazy aunts and uncles and the rest should just include a card with your wedding website info.
Post # 5
No. Just no. If your crazy aunt and uncle (or whoever) really really need to know where you are registered, they can call your parents or whoever you are close to who will tell them. Or they will just bring cash. It is beyond tacky (even though I don’t like to use that word!) and rude to put the info on the invites.
Post # 6
I voted no (but I don’t necessarily think it is “tacky”) because I think putting it on the website and word of mouth really does suffice. Almost everyone asked us directly, asked my parents or his parents, or found out from the website. We received very few presents that weren’t from our registries.
Post # 7
yes i am having a shower and I am including the information in those 🙂 but i am worried that since i am only inviting close friends and family and not every person invited to the wedding, that not everyone will know.
Post # 8
Yeah, definite no. I’m pretty lax on etiquette, but this is one I think most people will follow.
The reason behind the guideline is so that it doesn’t look like you’re asking for gifts, because at a wedding, they’re technically optional.
Put your website address on an enclosure with your invitation. You can’t prevent everyone from going off your registry. There will always be someone who will ignore it and get you a strange gift from somewhere else, even though they’re the most tech-savvy person on the planet and know about weddings and gift-giving.
Stick to etiquette on this one!
Post # 9
I’m not voting because I think my idea falls in the middle. I think it’s tacky to put ANYTHING like that (website, registry info) on an invite, but I find a paper insert in the invitation envelope acceptable. Like maybe put “for hotel suggestions, full menu listing, and registry information, please visit our site at www dot whatever dot com” and then have it as an insert as to not make your invitation itself tacky.
Although note- even if you don’t do it, your crazy aunt who lives far away will just call your mom or your other aunt or SOMEONE (maybe even you) when she wants to buy you a present. I always ask around or search sites that are common like target, bbb, pottery barn, etc.
Post # 10
I would not include any registry information on or in your invitations. You could include your website address on an enclosure, but that’s about it. Do you have a wedding party? You could ask your MOH to spread the word. And if people ask you directly, I think it’s ok to tell them, but putting it on the invitation seems like fishing for gifts. After all, even though most people give wedding gifts, it’s not a requirement for a guest to give the couple a gift.
Post # 11
i no longer believe in the word tacky, but i just don’t like the idea of putting them in the invites as a personal opinion.
Post # 12
ok done. i will just place them in the shower invites and word of mouth only. thank you!
Post # 13
I agree that word of mouth and computer are not the best way for people to find out! You can always add a little card into the envelope with the invite that states were you are registered.
Post # 14
ok just for clarification, i never considered putting it on the invitation…that is, BEYOND TACKY in my book, I should’ve clarified….as an insert. Sorry ladies.
Post # 15
That info will be on our wedding website and included in the shower invites but will be no where near our wedding invitations. Anyone who wants to know where you are registered will ask your mom/aunt/whoever, so just pass the info on to them. And if your crazy aunt isn’t going to ask anyone where you’re registered, she probably wasn’t going to get you anything off the registry anyway. Crazy aunts, in my experience, are strictly off-registry types 🙂
Post # 16
@frugal faye LOL about crazy aunts. 100% true.