(Closed) To elope or not to elope – canceling our current plans??

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I, personally, would have that conversation face to face, not via e-mail at work where you can both be dealing with other things and not really be thinking about it, you know?
I think that you should sit down and talk it out… and come to a decision together. The bottom line is that it is about the two of you getting married… you can always have a less formal, smaller reception later (or even a vow renewal)

Post # 5
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like he doesn’t really want to elope; he just doesn’t want to spend money/deal with stress. They are two different things, and don’t forget that.  Definitely talk to him about it, but I wouldn’t get upset at him.  He was likely just venting.  The number of brides/grooms that have said “I wish we could just elope” at some point in the planning is astronomical.  But whether you actually do or not depends on whether an elopement is right for you both as a couple.  He wants the traditional wedding and his family to be there, and unless you plan a small elopement where his family can come, it’s not going to fit his vision.

Post # 6
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BeeandBeeBride27:  maybe hold off on the chat for now, and write yourself some cue cards. I know that sometimes I get the same way and I took a writing program so I’m most def. a better writer than oral communicator BUT when convos are better face to face I will sometimes write notes to get me started on the right track 🙂

Post # 7
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@inspiredcreations:  I agree with you.  When I look at the money we’ll be spending, I can’t help but think how many vacations we could take with that. Got a quote from a photographer, and instead of seeing $3500, I saw “1 week for 2 in Cayo Santa Maria” LOL

That said, as much as I know there are other ways to spend our wedding money, and thinnk of that often, I also know that it’s important to both of us that the strong, single ladies who raised us get to celebrate the day with us, and that we’re surrounded by ALL of our friends, not just the handful that could make it to a DW.

So, don’t take it personally. He probably still wants the wedding, just can’t help but be a little stressed out over how much money they cost when there’s other things you could be using it for.

Post # 10
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

What if you guys just did a DW but with immediate family only?

 

Would that work for BOTH of your visions to some degree?

Post # 12
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@BeeandBeeBride27:  Ah OK, so it just has to be “local” in order to meet the family attendance.

So he is OK with inviting ALL this family, given the stresses and financial concerns?  Or that is the exact part he’s having a hard time swallowing? 

What if you did a cake and dessert reception in the afternoon locally?  It seems he wants people there more than spending money.  I think an afternoon event (non meal time) with desserts and champagne toast (if you like champagne) would be lovely and affordable.

It’s both of your wedding and I hope you can both get a big piece of what each of you want.  I don’t think one person should get the entire vision they want at the expense of the other’s vision.

 

 

Post # 15
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I keep trying to entice my groom with eloping but he keeps turning me down.  I think the closer we get to the actual date the more likely he will think it’s a good idea (and the more likely that it will no longer be an option due to deposits.)

Post # 16
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I say do the wedding we were going to go to the justice of the peace and after our wedding my husband and I were both so happy we got to share that special with our family and friends. But at the end of the day you have to do what makes you and your FI happy.

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