Post # 1
Bees, I am having such a tough time figuring out the best course of action for me.
We have the basics of the wedding planned (venue, date, photographer, and guest list). We paid half of the photographer already $900, and $500 to hold the venue, so not much money yet in the grand scheme of things. All in all, the wedding will be around $10k for around 75 people, which is perfectly in our comfort zone, and we have already saved the money.
My SO has always said that he was ready to be married the day he proposed, and he was fine if just the two of us ran off to some location and had a private, intimate service. I wanted to have my friends and family there and to share the day with everyone we love and celebrate with them. We settled on the small wedding, not tiny but it’s all the important people to both of us, plus some extras that we really could not care if they are there, but it makes the families happy (his parent’s friends, some relatives we could have done without etc).
Now, and I am sure every bride to be goes through this, I am ready to just elope! It’s overwhelming the planning and the gyrations you have to go through to make everyone happy, or at least not miserable, on your day! Everyone has their own two cents to put in, and even when you decide they don’t matter, it’s stressful.
I can mentally picture us eloping (to New Orleans) and imagine how amazing it will be to have just me and my SO, but I can also imagine the 80 person wedding and how happy that would make me as well.
For anyone that eloped (or thought about it and didn’t), do you have regrets? Do you think you choose the wrong path or did it work out amazingly either way?
Post # 4
@stephee: I always say elope because I think the majority of lavish weddings are a waste of money (and we don’t have money to waste – different story for wealthy folks). It is intimate, romantic, and cost effective to elope. My parents will be acting as witnesses, so important people in my life will still be present, but I will also be able to focus on the meaning of the day with my man.
Post # 5
@stephee: Elope!! How romantic New Orleans!!
Post # 6
I am also trying to decide whether to elope or have small intimate wedding of 35-40 people 🙂
Post # 7
You can always elope and throw a small party for your friends and family later. That’s what we’re doing! 🙂
Post # 8
@Miss Wellies: are you having anyone at your elopement?
Post # 9
@ontbride: Nope. Just our officiant, photographers, and videographers.
Post # 10
@stephee: To me, people are more important than places, and I could not imagine eloping. That said, I did feel like eloping at times during the planning because it seemed so overwhelming! But they were not serious thoughts. I was so happy to have family and friends there.
Also, consider your parents’ feelings. Some parents don’t care, but for some parents it’s very important to be at their children’s weddings.
Post # 11
@stephee: Our big wedding (150 guests) was planned for August 4. We had everything set, everyone booked. And one day while I was at work, I snapped. I called DH bawling because I was so stressed out and I told him, “I don’t want this stupid wedding. I just want to marry you and be your wife. I want just US to go to the coast.”
It didn’t take much convincing since that’s what he wanted to begin with. Within 2 weeks we were applying for our marriage license, and 3 weeks later we said our vows on the coast all by ourselves! The only guests in attendance were our baker, our officiant, our photographer, and our officiant’s boyfriend.
With the money we saved we were able to afford a gorgeous oceanfront jacuzzi suite for the weekend and we STILL wound up spending less than we would have on the wedding. The morning that we left for the coast, we mailed out elopement announcements so most everyone knew within a day or two of us being gone.
I was so incredibly happy we did it, we both were. If we were given the choice a thuosand more times, we would choose eloping every time.
If you have any more questions or if you want to see pictures, learn how we worked out the details, etc, you can shoot me a PM. 🙂 I don’t want to type out a novel and steal your thread, LOL!
Post # 12
@stephee: DH wanted to elope from the door, but I felt like I might regret not having a wedding. So we started planning but it was growing way too big and wayyy too expensive. We cancelled it and for a while we were just brainstorming and toying with the idea of eloping. In the end we had a small wedding and it was amazing. I still love the idea of elopements, but I love the day we had. It’s all about what you feel will make you most happy when looking back. One thing that kinda motivated me to have a wedding was the fact that I was going to be relocating the next day. So it made sense to let everyone see us off as husband and wife. If that hadn’t been the case we probably would have eloped.
Post # 13
@ontbride: When is your wedding? I would say if you want to get married this year have a nice elopment I am having an elopement see my other post.
I suggest you think about what would make you happy versus what would make people happy/
Post # 14
@mukai: that looks so nice!!
Post # 16
Thanks all! I guess I have to figure out mentally whether or not the stress of the wedding is worth it or not. I do look forward to spending the day with my close friends and family, but I worry that it will not feel special enough. I guess thats silly?