(Closed) To flowergirl or not to flowergirl

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14503 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are not having a flower girl, but then again we are not having children at our wedding.

I would suggest that if you are going to have one, you should have them both.  To help defray the cost, you might think about buying the dresses yourself and buying them at the after easter sales next year.  You can get some really cute dressy dresses for really cheap, you might buy them a size or two big as kids grow alot during the summer.

Post # 4
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am having all of my nieces and nephews (ages 5-11) in the wedding party. In fact, they ARE the wedding party! (No adults.)

I would say you can’t have just the younger one; if you do include them, include them both. And I don’t think you should worry about a couple of the things you mentioned. I’m pretty sure a six-year will understand that she can’t be the focus of your attention on your wedding day. Besides, there will be plenty of distractions for her, especially if you throw in a couple of kids’ activities (like coloring books at a kids’ table). I also wouldn’t worry about the older kids; flower girls are often the only kids included in a wedding.

As for whether to have a flower girl at all, it depends on whether you’re going to be upset if they don’t do exactly as you say. At that age, there’s a good chance they will surprise you – by hesitating to walk at the last minute, by straying from the aisle, etc. I think that’s cute (and I bet your guests would, too), and makes for some great photos and stories, but you have to know going in that they’re not going to be “perfect” and be okay with it.

On the cost issue, you can certainly keep that in check. Just don’t fall into the trap that you have to buy a formal FG dress at $100-$200. My FG will wear a dress from Gap Kids, purchased on sale. I bet if you look around and consider dresses from regular stores, you can find something for less than $50 – maybe even a lot less. You also don’t have to spend on baskets and petals if you don’t want to. My FG isn’t going to throw petals at all, she will carry a FG wand (which will be hand-made for a few dollars). Do a search for “flower girl wands” and you’ll see how cute they are!

Post # 5
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had a two year old flower girl, 2 yr old ring bearer, and a one yr old ring bearer pulled in a wagon by a 5 yr old ring bearer. Everyone said we were nuts to have such young children in our wedding, but they were so cute and perfectly behaved and so adorable walking down the aisle.

I would say if these two mean something to you, include them. What we did with ours was have them walk down and then go sit with their parents or grandparents and it worked perfectly.

Post # 6
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’m not sure we would have had a flowergirl even if we’d known any kids, just because we’re really not “kids” people, but it sounds like in your heart you really do want the kids involved in the wedding. Ask both of them, it will be adorable and appropriate to have a 4 year old and a 6 year old do the job together, and hopefully the older one will help keep the younger one moving along and calmed down. It’s fine to ask just them and not your other cousins because everyone understands that the flower girl role is appropriate for a young girl, not an older one. As for the money, sorry, but if you want flower girls and your aunt and uncle can’t afford to pay for dresses and baskets, you’ll have to assume that cost yourself. Perhaps if you’re really torn, this could be decided with a look at the budget – can you afford them or not? But as I said, it sounds like you are in love with the idea of having them involved and with the photos you’d get, so I vote you find a way to make it work if you can.

Oh, and as for the 6 year old wanting to spend the entire wedding with you – just have a talk with her mom, or anyone else who likes kids, and make sure there’s someone/something to occupy her so she doesn’t expect to spend the entire evening with you. As long as her expectations are realistic you should be fine. I think you’d have fun with her around anyway.

Post # 7
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We are not having any flower girls or ring bearers. We also having an adults only wedding / reception. Not only for the cost aspect but it is just what we prefer for our wedding.

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