To Gift Or Not?!? That is the question!

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsFrog2Be:  We always do something small, even if we say we aren’t going to do anything 🙂

Post # 4
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@MrsFrog2Be:  Why did he ask you to not buy him a gift? 

I ask my FI to not buy me anything because we’re currently saving, and I’d prefer to do without luxuries until we’ve reached our goal. If he bought me something, I would be grateful but also slightly annoyed because the money would have come from our account (we have 100% joint finances). If the cost is extravagant, I’d probably auggest returning it since it’s the thought that counts.

If he had bought me a nominal gift, however, I’d be thrilled by the thoughtfulness. 

In other circumstances, like telling someone to not get you anything just because, then I think giving a nice gift would be lovely.

Post # 5
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nope. No gift.  But I would get him Vday card and make a special desseert with dinner.

Post # 6
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would do something small, if there’s a reason he asked for no gifts.

For instance, FI and I overspent on Vday last year. Now we really need to save for some major purchases, so I’d be upset if he bought me something expensive instead of putting the money towards our goals.

I also know guys who will feel uncomfortable with a gift because they can’t afford to reciprocate or don’t want to.

Post # 7
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s a bit unfair if you had the discussion and agreed to it, and then are going back on your agreement.

Did you agree? or is this just something he said and you didn’t bother to validate??

I would feel terrible if we agreed no gifts, then my partner got me something anyhow.


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