To gift or not to gift

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If you want to give her a gift, do. If you don’t, don’t. You are under no obligation either way.

Post # 3
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

I’d get her something if she’s a close friend and the simple fact that she got you gifts for your wedding… Mainly I’d get her one because she’s NOT expecting it.  If she were, I wouldn’t.

Post # 4
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think a gift would be expected but if you want to give a gift, you should feel free. I don’t think there needs to be concensus – each person or couple can decide if they want to give a gift. Personally, I’d probably give a small gift like tickets to the movies or a bottle of champagne with a nice congratulatory note.

Post # 5
Hostess
9907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you want to get her a gift, get her a gift.

Honestly, I think it’s a little bit petty that people are saying there’s no party so why should we get her something.  The gift is to congratulate the couple, not thank them for inviting you to a party.

Post # 6
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think this falls under “gift giving is always a choice and never an obligation.”  There is technically really never an obligation to get someone a gift.  There are certain times when culturally it is expected, like when you attend someone’s wedding.  There are also times where you can get someone a gift because you decide to do so. 

If you want to get this friend a gift, I say get them a gift and don’t care about what the consensus is among your other friends.  I also wouldn’t tell my friends the final decision that I made.

Post # 7
Member
8907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

A gift is to say “CONGRATS ON YOUR MARRIAGE!”, not “Thanks for the free food and booze.”  So I would say yes.

Post # 8
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

dng329:  If I were in a similar situation, I would send a gift because I would want to acknowledge and celebrate my good friend’s marriage, and I would spend the normal amount I generally spend on good friends’ wedding gifts. I would do the same if I was invivted to a friend’s wedding a couldn’t make it for some reason.  I view the gift as a congratulations to the newly married couple 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

merpitymerp:  +1    Those that want to give a gift can do so. Those that dont, shouldnt. Pretty easy.

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I think a small congratulatory gift would be appropriate, and there would be no need for consensus among your group. Perhaps not a huge gift, as it might be awkward if some of your friends give nothing and others give something.

Post # 11
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think a gift would definately be appropriate if she is a good friend.  You shouldnt stiff people just because they arent throwing a party.  Its a way to give congratulations for a life changing event and it should be acknowledged. 

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