To go or not to go? (Work abroad.)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you go on this "trip"?
    Yes, regardless of SO's opinion. : (63 votes)
    85 %
    No, because he doesn't want me to. : (0 votes)
    Only one year for work. : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Only if he comes along. : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Other, PLEASE share! : (0 votes)
    No, would instead try to get a similar position in EU and go WITHOUT him. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    No, would instead try to get a similar position in EU and go WITH him. : (2 votes)
    3 %
    ...or is it a deal-breaker? : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1779 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @HopefulCatlover:  If it was me I would definitely pursue something I had been working so hard towards. Especially since you consider it ‘the opportunity of a lifetime’. Personlly, the fact that because he dislikes a country he wouldn’t visit me (a woman he supposedly loves) wouldn’t sit well with me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee

    If it is really the opportunity of a lifetime, take it.  If you don’t you’ll always wonder “what if” and may hold onto some resentment towards your SO for making you chose between him and your career.

    Good luck!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    I find it a bit ridiculous that he hates the US so much that he wouldn’t even visit you there. To me, that’s … I don’t know. Pretty annoying. It’s making me vote GO.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    I really think that anyone who loves and understands you would support you in this amazing opportunity. It feels pretty Deal-Breaker-ish to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @HopefulCatlover:  I second what prahajess said. The person who truly loves and understands you would want you to go and would want to visit you. Anything less is a dealbreaker.

    I say you should go. Who knows? He may show his true colors and: throw a childish fit or miss you so much that he visits you anyway. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    If you don’t like the US, then go to Spain and pursue it.  If he is as serious about you as you say he is, then he will visit you.  Its a compromise.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @springbride23:  +1000….
    OP, I think your SO is being a jerk by telling you not to pursue your dreams, because they happen to be leading you to a country he isn`t fond of.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    You need to take it.  Researching at Columbia in NYC will most likely open a lot of doors for you in your field, at home and abroad.  Not many people get that chance.  If he can’t support you in this endeavor then it’s time to find someone else who will.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @HopefulCatlover:  If his only reasoning for not coming to visit you is “he hates the US” then I’d go anyway because he is being a child. There are places I hate but I still go because, like in your situation, its a better opportunity. If he can’t see that or doesn’t want the best for you, then that is his problem. I think if he knows you are serious, he will change his mind. If he doesn’t, again, his loss. You need to do what is best for you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee

    @HopefulCatlover:  Would you be happy with what the opportunities in Spain could do for you?  This is a decision that could impact the rest of your life; choose what is best for you and what you want to do.

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